Michelle Heaton has not visited the late Nikki Grahame for the death, alleging it was ‘irresponsible’
Michelle Heaton says it would have been “irresponsible” to visit her friend Nikki Grahame before she died because she herself was “too sick” with her alcohol and cocaine addiction.
Big Brother legend Nikki died in April this year at the age of 38 after battling an eating disorder.
And singer Michelle, 42, says a visit to her would have put both of them in danger, as Nikki would have liked to enjoy a glass of champagne with Michelle.
Staying safe: Michelle Heaton, 42, has said it would have been ‘irresponsible’ to visit late girlfriend Nikki Grahame before her death because the singer was ‘too sick’ from alcohol and cocaine addiction
The pop star told OK! magazine“What I understand now, what I didn’t acknowledge then, is that I knew how bad I was, and I knew she didn’t have long and I knew she couldn’t drink because it would kill her.
“I knew she wanted a glass of champagne with me like she used to, and I knew I couldn’t not drink, so I didn’t see her.”
She added: “That would have been completely irresponsible of me to go because I would have been drinking.
Big Brother legend: Nikki (pictured 2019) rose to fame with Big Brother in 2006 and Michelle says the reality star would have loved to have champagne with Michelle, putting both of them in danger
“And seeing Nikki as she was wouldn’t have been enough for me not to drink because I was an alcoholic.”
Michelle recently claimed that “it would have been easier to die” than the ordeal she went through during the height of her addictions.
She entered rehab in April after being warned she would die if she didn’t change her behavior.
But leading up to seeking help, Michelle tried to hide her drinking from her family, secretly drinking vodka as her hair fell out and her skin became translucent as a result of her drinking.
Michelle, who is mother to children Faith, nine, and AJ, seven with husband Hugh Hanley, confessed that she thought it would have been easier to die the way she did in the throes of her problems.
The singer emphasized that although she had not considered suicide, she thought she would die soon and that she did not want to prolong the pain for her family.
‘She wouldn’t stop shaking’: Michelle’s husband Hugh Hanley told Monday about the terrifying moment the singer had a seizure in bed four days before she went to rehab
While discussing the physical impact her drinking had on her body, she explained that her skin had become translucent, her stomach bulged as her liver protruded and her hair began to fall out, as her weight dropped to 7th 13 pounds.
The singer also noted the impact her drinking had on their children, who witnessed Michelle vomiting after binge drinking and screaming in a drunken rage.
Her husband Hugh noted that the turning point came after Michelle suffered a terrifying seizure in bed, shaking and foaming at the mouth, and checked into the Priory for rehab just four days later.
The terrifying diagnoses prompted Michelle to enter rehab in April, but long-term damage had already been done to her body from the excessive drinking, and her pancreas has stopped functioning, so she’ll have to take medication for the rest of her life. help her digest food.
Earlier this month, Michelle revealed the shocking impact her addiction had on her hair.
The former singer shared before and after photos after visiting a salon, saying: “This was only filmed this morning, that’s the harsh reality of what my hair became.”
Bros: Earlier this month, Michelle revealed the shocking impact her addiction had on her hair as her body had been damaged for a long time by drinking
The star documented the poor condition of her brown locks when she arrived at a salon in London.
Michelle told her followers, “It’s funny (not really funny) yet funny, how stress…hormones…alcohol…drugs…diet…fitness has all the effects on hair!” [sic]
The singer admitted earlier this year that her body had suffered long-term damage from drinking a bottle of vodka, two bottles of wine and snorting cocaine every day since 2018.
“What I did was a suicide mission. I screamed for help when I couldn’t really ask for help. When you’re addicted, it feels like there’s no way out,” she told The Sun, just 36 hours after she left rehab.
The star has said on social media that Hugh has been her “rock, best friend and biggest supporter” throughout the ordeal.
Honest: Last month, the star admitted she was left “close to death” after a three-year binge, revealing that her husband Hugh was her “rock” throughout the ordeal (pictured with their children Faith, nine). , and AJ, seven)