Meghan turns 43 on Sunday. Forty-three! She is no longer naive: she is a mother, a wife.
Surely she can start acting like an adult now. Mend some bridges, take a step back, take a higher stance?
Meghan hasn’t spoken to her father, who just turned 80, since before her wedding in 2018. She seems to abandon her friends without a second thought. Her business dealings are erratic. Every pose with women she barely knows has a playground whiff.
Harry appears isolated from his old friends and family (not to mention a family still reeling from the cancer diagnoses of King Charles and the Princess of Wales).
Important moments, like birthdays, make us all take stock.
Meghan looked too dressed up for the premiere of the film Bob Marley: One Love in Jamaica in January
Some of his actions in the Netflix documentary with Harry caused his popularity to plummet
It is also time to make peace with Catherine, above left at Windsor Castle with William, Harry and Meghan, following the Queen’s death in September 2022.
We wonder what is really important: wealth, ornaments, appearance… or the search for a deeper meaning for our lives, whether in small spheres like the family or in large ones like public service?
Perhaps this birthday will give Meghan a moment to reflect. What should she change?
I like Meghan, and if I were one of her closest confidants – kindly! – I would tell her that to me she can seem insecure: always with one hand on Harry’s arm, holding him close.
Many behaviors arise from being a star, of course, even a small one.
She looked gorgeous at the wedding and her second wedding dress by Stella McCartney was bold and inspiring.
I doubt Meghan could believe her luck in travelling in that pale blue vintage Jaguar E-type on her wedding day, on her way not only to the reception but to a new life of incredible privilege.
She seemed in awe that day, seduced by our pomp and solemnity. Actress years are like dog years, remember? All that fear of rejection, of getting too old.
Actors are strange creatures, always alert to a slight, to a drop in their name on a billboard. I cannot overstate the extent to which even a simple meet-and-greet must be thoroughly oiled and invisibly controlled by minions.
The royals know how to do it, but the people around Meghan don’t.
That’s why some of her appearances seem so amateurish: overdressed for a movie premiere in Jamaica, showing too much skin in Nigeria, overdressed in white shorts and flats for a veterans’ parade.
It’s strange to think that when she married Harry, she could do no wrong. She looked gorgeous at the wedding and her second wedding dress, by Stella McCartney, was bold and inspiring.
Her charitable decisions were successful: a cookbook to raise funds for the Grenfell tragedy, for example.
Her loyalty to the Mayhew animal welfare charity was perfect, in contrast to the fondness for blood sports shown by many royals.
She was a new broom: warm and informal. Her beagle, Guy, sat next to the late queen on the way to her wedding rehearsal.
Meghan brought Hollywood glamour and, yes, a touch of endearing sass (she once got into a car before the Queen) to a family that seemed very old, very pale and stale.
It all went horribly wrong, of course.
He accused the royals, if not of racism, then at least of unconscious bias, leading to the Queen’s famous remark, “recollections may vary.” Another low point: mockingly recreating a curtsey to the Queen for the benefit of Netflix subscribers.
These actions caused his popularity to plummet and led to his estrangement not only from royalty, but also from us Britons.
That’s why I would tell him that his birthday this weekend is an opportunity to reset.
The Duchess certainly needs it.
I doubt Meghan could believe her luck in travelling in that pale blue vintage Jaguar E-Type on her wedding day, on her way not just to the reception but to a new life of incredible privilege. She seemed in awe, that day, seduced by our pomp and solemnity.
The acting years are like the dog years, remember: all that fear of rejection, of getting too old.
And at that moment, Meghan knew that being a royal was more important than an alternative life, even that of A-list celebrities like Jennifer Lawrence, for example, or Beyoncé.
But she ruined everything. Do you regret it now? I would ask her.
My suspicion is that Meghan wishes Harry was a stronger character than he is.
Harry also has a birthday coming up: his 40th birthday on September 15.
But he still seems like a child: petulant, used to getting his way but now routinely thwarted.
Meghan is used to alpha producers and directors, male stars, and even her father, an award-winning Hollywood lighting director.
I would say to Meghan that, to me, she and Harry seem to have people around them who don’t give them the best advice and that she may be afraid to stand up to them. All of which, of course, goes back to that insecurity I sense in both of them.
This situation must change.
For her birthday, I think Meghan needs a dedicated stylist who knows what they’re doing. And she needs to do a real difference with some new good causes, not just seemingly idyllic businesses.
It’s also time to make amends with Catherine. Meghan needs to look at the respect and space her sister-in-law has been given and think, “Why don’t I deserve that?”
Women fight, women make up, women agree. Not liking a mother-in-law is no reason to maintain this coldness, I told her.
Megxit has been portrayed as some kind of easy ride, an escape route.
But what about reality? It’s like being put in a barrel of ice. In California, it’s all about status and celebrity. Walking down Kensington High Street, Meghan would stop traffic. In Los Angeles, she’s not the only famous person in town. She’s a smart woman. She knows it.
It’s time for her and Harry to swallow their pride and return home.
Of course Meghan has made mistakes, but let’s put those “misdemeanors” into perspective.
Accuse the Royal Family of being archaic and suffering from unconscious bias? Surely Charles’s description of his childhood was damning and painful for his parents? And his betrayal of Diana is worse than anything Meghan has ever done! But Charles recovered from his mistakes and humiliations. So can Meghan if she has a good heart.
I really hope you take advantage of this birthday to step back, take your time, and humble yourself a little, if necessary.
Again, as an understanding girlfriend, I could gently tell you that I think the only quality you lack is self-awareness.
What impression am I giving? What could I do better? She needs help to see the bigger picture and determine what she wants to do.
I, for one, hope he writes some memoirs.
Maybe only then will we understand her and maybe even forgive her for taking Harry from us.
We Brits are generous and magnanimous. I’m sure we wouldn’t hesitate to welcome Meghan back into our circle, but she has to make the first move.
