Meghan McCain says she & # 39; very, very, very hard & # 39; was for herself after a miscarriage early this summer, and while she has now learned to give herself a break, dealing with the loss has still made her feel & # 39; very, very alone & # 39 ;.
Meghan  and her husband Ben Domenech expected their first child when she had a miscarriage earlier this year, and she made headlines with candid opinion in the New York Times about her loss.
Speak against Good morning America today, The View co-host discussed how she suffered in more detail and explains why it is so important for her to get more people talking about a miscarriage.
Difficult times: Meghan McCain says she & # 39; very, very, very hard & # 39; for himself was after a miscarriage
Sad: when she had a miscarriage, she said: & I was so embarrassed … I am still worried that, for whatever reason, I might not be able to get pregnant and at the same time do my job because I that could not before & # 39;
& # 39; Nobody likes the word miscarriage. I think there's a lot of shame and a lot of sadness about it, and there's a lot of social stigma about it, but I'd rather talk about it than not talk about it, & she said.
When she had a miscarriage, she said: & # 39; I was so embarrassed. & # 39;
& # 39; I had to take time off from work … I am still worried that, for whatever reason, I might not be able to be pregnant and at the same time do my work because I couldn't do it earlier.
& # 39; I was very, very, very hard for myself, and I blamed the stress of my life, and I blamed being older, and I blamed my personality, and I blamed the blame things that were not rational, & # 39; she went on.
Her feelings about this became more rational over time, but urged others to make it easy for herself and said that & # 39; physically and emotionally just an extremely intense and extremely difficult thing to continue & # 39 ;.
& # 39; Since then I have tried to make myself a little easier in everything to do with motherhood and pregnancy, because it is not easy to be a woman. It just isn't.
Family: Meghan  and her husband Ben Domenech were expecting their first child
& # 39; I have always been a little agnostic about having children, & # 39; she said. & # 39; And I think my reaction and how sad I felt afterwards surprised me & # 39;
Meghan said before she became pregnant, she wasn't even sure about having children, so she was surprised by how hard the loss hit her.
& # 39; I have always been a little agnostic about having children, & # 39; she said. & # 39; I don't feel maternal by nature. I do not feel this natural attraction to motherhood. And I think my reaction and how sad I felt afterwards surprised me.
& # 39; It just hit me a lot harder than I thought. I never thought of having a miscarriage. I never thought of being pregnant until it happened, & she continued.
She claimed that her job was a constant reminder that she had a miscarriage.
& # 39; Daytime TV is really hard to be childless and 35, & she said. & # 39; Every day I am reminded that I am not a mother. & # 39;
Meghan said she thinks fans of The View assume that people on TV have a perfect life. But that is not true, and she wants to be open about her experiences.
& # 39; Daytime TV is really hard to be childless and 35, & she said. & # 39; Every day I am reminded that I am not a mother & # 39;
& # 39; I blamed the stress of my life, and I blamed aging, and I blamed my personality, and I blamed things that were not rational, & # 39; she went on
& # 39; I just want people to feel less alone because I felt very, very alone, "she said.
& # 39; I just think that people should deal with [a miscarriage] as we treat other forms of loss. But I also have the feeling that, as a society, we are by no means close to where we need to talk about sadness and death and loss. It is difficult. It's just very, very, very difficult, & she added.
& # 39; And I sympathize with all the women who went through it. And who goes through it. It's just awful and it doesn't get any easier.
Meghan also linked the loss of her unborn child to that of her father.
& # 39; It felt like a very strange circle in the life experience that just included a lot of death and tragedy, & # 39; she said.
& # 39; And I always describe it as the reverse of losing my father because my father was the end of a wonderful long-lived life, and I mourn that. And the way I mourned a miscarriage and my daughter was what could have been. & # 39;
Meghan had first revealed that she had had a miscarriage in the New York Times on July 19.
Sweet: Meghan was shown in June with co-host Abby Huntsman and her twins
Candid: Meghan first talked about her loss in a New York Times-op-ed
& # 39; My miscarriage was a terrible experience and I wouldn't wish anyone, & # 39; she wrote.
& # 39; Since then I have asked the same question to every mother who loves and loses a child: why? Why was this light and this joy kept for us and the world in which this child breathed was cast in the shadow? Why was an innocent life created in the image of God and then eradicated abruptly?
& # 39; I blamed myself, & # 39; she went on. & # 39; Maybe it was wrong for me to choose a professional woman, working in a high-pressure, visibility and stress-free field, still bearing the burden of my father's recent loss while facing the arrows that belong to public life.
Goal: In an Instagram post, The View co-host said she hopes sharing her story will help others who have experienced the same feeling of feeling less alone & # 39;
& # 39; This, I told myself, is the reason that my body is a rocky wasteland in which no child is allowed to live. This is my fault.
& # 39; Still, it's not my fault, & # 39; she said,
& # 39; I had a miscarriage. I loved my baby, and I will always do that. I will remember this child until the end of my days – and no matter what children, it will not obscure. I love my child. I love all the women who, like me, were briefly in the sisterhood of motherhood, hoping, praying, and nurturing joy in us, until the day that joy was over. & # 39;
Days later, she spoke more about the subject in an Instagram post and thanked those who approached her for their & # 39; beautiful and friendly responses & # 39; on her op-ed.
& # 39; Ben and I are the happiest, most incredibly blessed people in the world surrounded by love and support, & she wrote. & # 39; My hope is to continue to share sadness and loss by addressing these taboo topics directly, will help people who have experienced the same feel less alone. None of us is alone in this.
& # 39; I was terrified of sharing my story publicly, but I never, ever fear, let my life choices dictate. I will always take the plunge, I will always throw the dice, & she added.
Meghan finished her thoughtful job by paying tribute to her husband Ben.
& # 39; And for this man who loves my wild heart, he has never tried to change anything about me, and remains the greatest source of power, love, and faith that a woman could ever ask for – I thank God for having you sent to me every day, Ben, & # 39; she wrote, with the hashtag & # 39; #rideordie & # 39 ;.
. [TagsToTranslate] Dailymail