A married politician in California has admitted to having a year-long affair with a student when she was a dean at Stanford University 13 years ago.
Julie Lythcott-Haims, who is a member of the Palo Alto City Council, confessed to her relationship with Olivia Swanson Haas, which occurred at a time when she was recognized for her contributions to higher education.
Her book How to Raise an Adult became a New York Times bestseller in 2015 and was praised for its “deep compassion” toward young people.
“Being in a relationship with a student was inappropriate when it happened 13 years ago, and it would be inappropriate now,” the politician said in a statement on Friday.
Haas first shared details about the matter on Thursday in a post on the LGBT online magazine. Self-straddling titled ‘I had an affair with the dean of my university’, but did not name Lythcott-Haims.
Julie Lythcott-Haims, a married California politician, has admitted to having a year-long affair with a student when she was a dean at Stanford University 13 years ago.
The Palo Alto City Council member came clean about his relationship with Olivia Swanson Haas (pictured) that occurred at a time when she was being recognized for her contributions to higher education.
Haas revealed that she had an affair with a married dean at her university when she was 22.
“My first and only queer relationship was kept secret, but not for the usual reasons,” he wrote.
‘Rather, my first and only queer relationship was kept secret because when I was 22 and a senior in college, I had an affair with a well-known dean at my university, a married woman twice my age.’
Haas described the dean as a “charismatic, adored school celebrity” and said she “craved the attention of powerful people.”
Speaking about the “tremendous amount of stress” she felt during the relationship, Haas said her “huge” secret remained hidden from her friends and family.
“We weren’t breaking any rules (she reviewed university policies), but it was clear that what we were doing was putting her job at risk, so I didn’t tell anyone,” she added.
She claimed the dean’s husband, whom Haas called a “pale, benevolent shadow” and “a supporting character” in their romance, knew about the relationship but was accepting of it, joking, “Just don’t buy her a car.”
“Being in a relationship with a student was inappropriate when it happened 13 years ago, and it would be inappropriate now,” Lythcott-Haims said in a statement Friday.
Haas first shared details about the affair on Thursday in a post on the LGBT online magazine Autostraddle titled “I Had an Affair with the Dean of My College,” but did not name Lythcott-Haims.
Haas described the dean as a “charismatic and adored school celebrity” and said she “craved the attention of powerful people.” Pictured: Stanford University campus
“At the time, I didn’t understand how anyone could be happy about their spouse having other sexual partners, but I rarely interacted with him and found I could put him out of my mind most of the time,” she added.
The relationship between Lythcott-Haims and Haas ended when the student told her parents, who were “horrified.”
“Suddenly, words like manipulation and abuse of power started being used and shame began to calcify in the parts of me that had wanted it (tremendous shame) as I began to see my great love story through a very different lens,” she wrote.
His mother reported the dean’s behavior to the school through an anonymous complaint, which led to his departure.
Haas said Lythcott-Haims emailed her a few years ago to say she was ashamed of what she had done.
“I privately apologized to Ms. Haas years ago,” the councilwoman said in a statement.
‘I now want to publicly apologize to her for my actions and their impact on her.
Haas said the dean’s husband, Dan Lythcott-Haims (right), knew about the relationship but accepted it, joking: “Just don’t buy her a car.”
The relationship between Lythcott-Haims and Haas ended when the student told her parents.
“I also apologize to my former colleagues and students, who had a right to expect better from me, and to members of my extended family, who may find it difficult to air this matter publicly.”
Stanford officials did not change the campus policy on staff-student relations until 2013, a year after Lythcott-Haims left the university.
The policy on “Consensual Sexual or Romantic Relationships in the Workplace and Educational Environment” was amended to prohibit staff members from having relationships with students due to their “extensive influence or authority over students and their experience.”
But a university spokesman said that before this, relationships with undergraduates had always been strongly discouraged.
DailyMail.com has contacted Lythcott-Haims, Haas and Stanford for comment.
