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Married At First Sight recap: The REAL killer of the marriage of Poppy and Luke

At Peter Alexander’s headquarters, the employees are celebrating another big win for the year, because they are “screwing up a TV marriage” to their impressive first quarter results.

Signing a deal with Married At First Sight product placement was a brilliant move by the pajama giants, who are well aware of the contraceptive capabilities of Bert and Ernie.

The big story on Monday night was that Poppy did the Usain Bolt after she entered her marital apartment with Luke – a bulging Big Bird onesie can have that effect.

The REAL killer: the big story on Monday night's MAFS was that Poppy did the Usain Bolt after she and Luke went to live in her marital apartment

The REAL killer: the big story on Monday night’s MAFS was that Poppy did the Usain Bolt after she and Luke went to live in her marital apartment

Welcome to Intimacy Week

Intimacy Weak: John Aiken had a brilliant idea of ​​how the first nights of the newlyweds could add a little spice to their marital apartment. INTIMACY WEEK. Where every couple has to come up with a tailor-made task for their partner

Intimacy Weak: John Aiken had a brilliant idea of ​​how the first nights of the newlyweds could add a little spice to their marital apartment. INTIMACY WEEK. Where every couple has to come up with a tailor-made task for their partner

Intimacy Weak: John Aiken had a brilliant idea of ​​how the first nights of the newlyweds could add a little spice to their marital apartment. INTIMACY WEEK. Where every couple has to come up with a tailor-made task for their partner

John Aiken had a brilliant idea to spice up the first nights of the newlyweds in their marital apartment. Introducing INTIMACY WEEK.

Well, at least it’s better than ‘Massage Month’, which was Mel Schilling’s suggestion.

Apparently ‘Intimacy Week’ is also code for ‘product placement’ because the couples were sent to Peter Alexander to buy some ordinary nightwear.

Unfortunately it was the Disney and Sesame Street season at the time of filming. Nothing speculates a love session like a Muppet with a hunger for baked goods that looks up to you while you do the deed.

Product Placement Week: Apparently 'Intimacy Week' is also code for 'product placement' because the couples were sent to Peter Alexander to buy some ordinary nightwear

Product Placement Week: Apparently 'Intimacy Week' is also code for 'product placement' because the couples were sent to Peter Alexander to buy some ordinary nightwear

Product Placement Week: Apparently ‘Intimacy Week’ is also code for ‘product placement’ because the couples were sent to Peter Alexander to buy some ordinary nightwear

That's hot! Nothing speculates a love session like a Muppet with a crippling cookie addiction while staring at you while doing the deed

That's hot! Nothing speculates a love session like a Muppet with a crippling cookie addiction while staring at you while doing the deed

That’s hot! Nothing speculates a love session like a Muppet with a crippling cookie addiction while staring at you while doing the deed

How much do MAFS stars earn?

According to the notorious Nasser Sultan alumni, the base rate for the cast is around $ 150 a day.

“From that we have to buy our own food and pay our own bills, so it’s really not a lot of money,” he said

Breakout stars such as Jessika Power could negotiate a daily wage of up to $ 300

The show films for just under three months, which would mean that the total salary varies from $ 13,500 to $ 27,000

“Studies show that most Australians confuse intimacy with sex. But true intimacy is about building an emotional bond with your partner, “John explained in a letter.

“This week it’s up to each individual to come up with a tailor-made job for their partner, to help build intimacy, both physically …

Cathy and Josh

Cathy and Josh used this to baptize their third bed in a week.

“Put some Hydralytes and a clean towel on the door and we’ll see you in a week!” they said and slammed the door behind them.

THE NEXT

It’s a sex week! Cathy and Josh took the opportunity to baptize the marriage bed. “Put some Hydralytes and a clean towel on the door and we’ll see you in a week!” they said

Michael and Stacey

Vul-ner-ahh is ruining it: Michael gave up reading the instructions after stumbling over the word “vulnerability” and decided to proceed immediately to the tailor-made task

Michael gave up reading the letter after stumbling over the word “vulnerability” and immediately decided to proceed to the tailor-made task.

It was set up as a bonding exercise, but the Ice Cube baron regarded it more as a joke competition.

“For my sake, I will force Stacey to take off her makeup and expose her extensions with garbage in public!” he beamed.

Can’t calculate: Michael seemed to think it was “Prank Week.” “For my sake, I will force Stacey to take off her makeup and expose her extensions with garbage in public!” he said

“I’ve seen her in its roughest form, and now it’s ready for the world to see her.”

Stacey called in the old ‘Survivor contraband’ and slammed onto a few tubs of tinted moisturizer so that she hardly looked different.

Stacey 2.0! Stacey called in the old 'Survivor contraband' and put it on a few tubs with tinted moisturizer so that she hardly looked different

Stacey 2.0! Stacey called in the old 'Survivor contraband' and put it on a few tubs with tinted moisturizer so that she hardly looked different

Michael: Prankweek is crazy!

Michael: Prankweek is crazy!

Stacey 2.0! Stacey called in the old ‘Survivor contraband’ and put it on a few tubs with tinted moisturizer so that she hardly looked different

The next morning everything went bad. For the second time in a week we discovered that Michael had become a ‘bit of a d ** k’ after drinking 3 bottles of bubble the night before.

“That’s all, it’s ready in my eyes,” Stacey claimed.

Fool me once: the next morning everything went bad. For the second time in a week we found out that Michael had become a bit d ** k after drinking 3 bottles of bubbles

Fool me once: the next morning everything went bad. For the second time in a week we found out that Michael had become a bit d ** k after drinking 3 bottles of bubbles

Fool me once: the next morning everything went bad. For the second time in a week we found out that Michael had become a bit d ** k after drinking 3 bottles of bubbles

Mishel and Steve

Sex hour: Steve talked to producers about how the Peter Alexander tie could be his ticket to eventually come to third base with Mishel, while looking at a lace underwear

Sex hour: Steve talked to producers about how the Peter Alexander tie could be his ticket to eventually come to third base with Mishel, while looking at a lace underwear

Sex hour: Steve talked to producers about how the Peter Alexander tie could be his ticket to eventually come to third base with Mishel, while looking at a lace underwear

Steve spoke to producers about how tie-in Peter Alexander could be the key to eventually reach third base with Mishel.

Upon arrival, his direction towards the lace underwear section was interrupted by what appeared to be a smoke detector.

“OMG ARGHHH ELMO!” it squeaked.

Oh never mind, that’s just the sound of Mishel who finds the Sesame Street part.

False (fire) alarm: Steve’s direction towards the lingerie was interrupted by a fire siren that Mishel squeaked. “OMG ARGHHH ELMO!” she cried, as Steve’s plan crashed

Amanda and Tash

Hurt and Burny: it turns out that Bert and Ernie were not the key to starting Tash's sex drive, so the couple resorted to an emergency session with John

Hurt and Burny: it turns out that Bert and Ernie were not the key to starting Tash's sex drive, so the couple resorted to an emergency session with John

Hurt and Burny: it turns out that Bert and Ernie were not the key to starting Tash’s sex drive, so the couple resorted to an emergency session with John

Amanda checked in for a counseling session in Steve and Mishel’s apartment, and it turned out that Bert and Ernie weren’t the key to get Tash’s sex drive going either.

Amanda ignored Steve’s suggestion that she “soften her approach” and decided to invite John to a crisis meeting with her and Tash.

“How are you guys?” he squeaked after he had jumped through the doors thirty minutes late.

Hereeee is Johnny! “How are you guys?” he squeaked after he had jumped through the doors thirty minutes late. Clear John, that’s why you’re here

Jesus Christ John! Maybe you are trying to soften the approach?

If everything was peachy, you didn’t have to alphabet your stamp collection to put on a clean shirt and drive here, mate.

After hearing them, John concluded, “I think you just have a different fighting style.”

Good Rocky Balboa. Why didn’t you pick it up in the interview process?

Rocky road: After hearing them, John concluded, “I think you just have a different fighting style.” Good Rocky Balboa. Why didn’t you pick it up in the interview process?

Poppy and Luke

Poppy decides to dump Luke, just around the time they go to Peter Alexander

Poppy decides to dump Luke, just around the time they go to Peter Alexander

To the horror of Poppy, Luke is too nice to be upset

To the horror of Poppy, Luke is too nice to be upset

Poppy kicks off: Exactly around the time they would be for their mandatory trip to Peter Alexander, Poppy decided to leave the experiment and go home

Poppy was right from the start after Luke had the guts to suggest that he should consider leaving the experiment if she didn’t start to be nice to him.

Then, just when they had to come for their mandatory trip to Peter Alexander, Poppy decided to leave the experiment and go home.

“I just miss my kids,” she lied, spitting the same rule that she used throughout the season.

Her excuse: “I just miss my kids,” she lied, spitting the same rule that she used throughout the season. An exit interview later revealed that Poppy just didn’t love Luke

A leaked exit interview later revealed that Poppy did not love Luke and could not “hang around for something that is not absolute true love.”

I think she caught a glimpse of Steve in his Grover onesie, threw a bit in her mouth, and decided that the prospect of seeing Luke’s Big Bird bulge, the estimated $ 150 a day she deserves to be there was worth it.

The REAL reason: I think she caught a glimpse of Steve in his Grover onesie, threw a bit in her mouth, and decided that the prospect of seeing Luke's Big Bird bulge earned the estimated $ 150 a day she deserves to to be there

The REAL reason: I think she caught a glimpse of Steve in his Grover onesie, threw a bit in her mouth, and decided that the prospect of seeing Luke's Big Bird bulge earned the estimated $ 150 a day she deserves to to be there

The REAL reason: I think she caught a glimpse of Steve in his Grover onesie, threw a bit in her mouth, and decided that the prospect of seeing Luke’s Big Bird bulge earned the estimated $ 150 a day she deserves to to be there

…And the rest

Oh Connie! Connie’s idea of ​​intimacy is to take Jonethen’s phone for a week and force him to write her a love letter. Her was moving. He just said “SOS”

Connie’s idea of ​​intimacy is to take Jonethen’s phone for a week and force him to write her a love letter. Her was moving. He just said “SOS.”

David asked Hayley what her ‘favorite intimate act’ is, and did not react shockingly with a word that started with ‘H, B or P’.

“My favorite intimate act is someone who gives me decency and respect. Just the basics, “she said.

RUN, David, leave while you still can!

Hayley and David: Elsewhere, Hayley went to Peter Alexander and said, “I have the shirt that describes me in most social situations”

In the meantime, Vanessa watched a box of condoms in a boring country. “We won’t need this soon!” she joked.

Because Chris has the FLU, Vanessa – keep it in your pants.

Can anyone check in Ivan and Aleks? We have not heard all the episodes from them and one of them is clearly a serial killer.

Dull land: meanwhile Vanessa looks in a boring land for a box of condoms. “We won’t need this soon!” she joked. Because Chris has the FLU, Vanessa – keep it in your pants

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