Adam Tait was a young assistant manager of a local bar who earned £ 18,000 a year when his future wife, Carla, entered his life.
Realizing quickly that his professional potential was being stifled by reluctance and a clear lack of ambition, he decided to take the reins. Within two months, Carla had told Adam that they were buying a place together. The day they moved, she announced that they were getting married. After persuading him to go through these important milestones, Carla fixed herself firmly on her career, or rather, on the lack of one.
"Adam was not in a great job because he did not have the strength to go out and improve himself," says Carla, 30, who lives with Adam, 29, and their two children, Harley, six years old and Layla, two, in Swindon, Wiltshire. "He was shy and lacked confidence, and after our son was born, I took care of job ads and helped him write applications." Soon, Adam secured a new position in the automobile manufacturing industry, contributing more than double his previous salary.
To ensure that Adam continues on an upward trajectory, Carla micro-handles her daily life, from setting up her alarm clock to making her a healthy lunch and limiting her television viewing. How does Carla have the time to dedicate herself to promoting Adam's perspectives? After having her children, she gave up her own promising career at the Government Research Council to improve her husband's earnings.
Mother of two children, Carla, 30, revealed how the micro-management of her husband Adam Tait's career (in the photo) increased her earnings and allowed her to stay at home with her children. She describes her actions that have included helping him find a new job after knowing him as a practical
"Far from seeing it as degrading," he says, "I see it as something very practical." I do not want anyone else to raise our children, so I recognized that Adam had to increase his earnings quickly so I could stay at home. "
Now, thanks to Carla's hard work and dedication, they are in this fortunate position.
"People could say that I sound aggressive and, yes, I would say that I wear pants, there is no doubt," says Carla. "But I have transformed my husband's world, and he will be the first to admit that his life is better now."
Carla is one of the increasingly numerous & # 39; Tiger Wives & # 39; Like the notorious Tiger Mum, who focuses her laser ambition on her children, making sure they get A * on all possible subjects, the Tiger Wife deploys her energies to maximize her husband's potential.
Whether it's a promotion, a new haircut or looking for new friends, Tiger Wife just wants the best for his other half.
The notion of an insistent wife: think that Lady Macbeth (although with less bloody goals) is as old as the hills. But while in the past, women had no choice but to fulfill their own professional ambition indirectly, through their husbands, this new generation of Tiger Wives is voluntarily abandoning their own achievements to focus on improving their husband's CV, to bewilderment of many who see it as a regressive decision.
There are several notable examples of ambitious 21st century women who appear to be the "power behind the throne." The former president of EE. The United States, Barack Obama, has always credited his wife, Michelle, with much of his success.
Robin Li, the CEO of Baidu, the largest search engine in China, only decided to become an Internet entrepreneur because his wife, Melissa, urged him to do so, after having watched a documentary about the founder of Yahoo. He is now worth around $ 13 billion (£ 9 billion).
The super-investor and self-made billionaire Warren Buffet admitted that his wife, Susan, who died in 2004, was crucial to his success. "What happened with me would not have happened without her," he said.
Jean Howell, 50, spends her time motivating her husband Bill, 54 (pictured). She sends you encouraging messages, makes sure you eat healthy and takes care of the house to free up time to concentrate on your new business.
What's more, the research supports this. According to a study by EE. UU., People with supportive spouses are more likely to have the opportunity to succeed. Another study shows that having an encouraging and supportive spouse can increase your salary by more than £ 3,000 per year and increase your chances of being promoted.
As a psychotherapist, I have seen some wives adopt this approach. Whether they are fed up with juggling as a breadwinner while caring for older relatives or because they do not want to miss their children's early years, they believe that their husband's ambitions need a boost from them.
Carla does not doubt in the fact that Adam can not rest on his laurels. She wants me to work for her next promotion.
"My main goal now is our future forever at home," she says. "I want the three-bedroom house with private entrance in a good area of Swindon, I'm making sure we're working for that with the savings and that Adam gets his next promotion.
People could say that I dream insistently and yes, I wear pants – Carla
"I make sure he looks the best: I set up his alarm and I make sure his work clothes are ready, I give him the right food to start his day, he takes a packed lunch and has a balanced dinner when he gets home .
"I'm also careful when I get up at night with our daughter so we do not disturb him."
"I let him have a relaxed time watching Game Of Thrones, I do not understand why he likes it, but I leave it, for a limited time, obviously.
"I make sure we have a positive network of friends, similar to the people around us, who share our ambition and unity, nobody is in competition, we just want to improve ourselves."
The mother of two, Sarah Simms, 40, of Lewisham, revealed that she faces her husband James (pictured) becoming a teacher and even ran to work on her behalf.
While some men may feel clearly & # 39; under the thumb & # 39; With such an arrangement, Adam says he needs a wife like Carla.
"If she was not in my life, she would still be the assistant manager at the bar where she knew me," she says.
"She does everything for our family, and when I receive my salary every month, I pay it into our joint account and leave everything to her.
"Carla has pushed me, and while I have a short wick, she knows how to convince me. She is very patient with me and good at getting my initial "No" to become a "Yes". Having a wife like Carla is the secret to having a happy life: she is a good mother and a fantastic wife. "
Sarah Simms is another confessed tiger's wife.
Send to Bill motivational messages every morning to encourage him to follow – Jean
The 40-year-old high school teacher lives with her husband James, 47, and their children, Joseph, three years old, and Reuben, six, in Lewisham, south-east London.
"It's natural for women to be the Tiger in their family, and I'm the same with our children as with James," says Sarah.
"Women are much better at multitasking, and although I am hard-working, organized and focused, James is calm, patient but needs motivation."
The couple met in 2004 after James had returned from traveling. Sarah continued her work as a teacher, while James renovated a house they bought and then became a father who stays at home with their two children.
Sarah made this decision on her own because she was earning more than James at that time and had more unity of the two. With a salary, however, Sarah admits that the couple had to forego holidays abroad and other luxuries.
Sarah (pictured) regulates her husband's television to make sure he studies. James describes her as the driving force in her marriage
James now works as a youth worker, but his wife is determined to restart his career, and intends to "get him" all the way. Now that the children are in school, Sarah demands that her husband become a teacher. She goes so far as to apply for jobs in his name without even telling him.
"I always pushed him to try new things, and when he was doing our property, he was already pushing him to enroll in plumbing and plaster courses, which could sometimes create some tension," he says.
"But now I think he would be a great teacher, since he is very good with children, and it would be convenient if we could work in our children's school."
"I'm pushing for him to do a teacher training course, but he's not sure, he'd prefer to start as a teaching assistant and work.
I applied for a new job for him and I even control how much TV he sees – Sarah
"Meanwhile, I'm applying for jobs on your behalf anyway, but it's not always going according to plan, I recently applied for a position for him and his email address was incorrect, and the first thing he heard was the fact that I had an interview was when he received a call asking why he had not appeared.
"Now that you have studied a lot, regulating your television watching, however, it works well, even for our children, I will be the administrator of the parties they go to, but James will take them away. For his part, James says he likes the fact that Sarah motivates him. "I recognize that I am someone who needs a push," he says. "But it can bother me if I'm not in the mood for that."
"Sarah does all the boring things, like sending emails and getting in touch with people, and reaping the benefits, she is definitely the driving force of our marriage."
Jean Howell, 50, is another wife who says she is more than happy to spend her time motivating her husband, Bill, 54, to succeed in his new craft business.
Bill (photographed on the right with his wife Jean) states that he and Jean are a goal-oriented couple and Jean pushes him out of his comfort zone
"Every morning, I bring you a cup of tea on the bed to spur you on for the day," he says. "I do additional washing to be able to dedicate myself to the new business.
"I also send you one of the many motivational messages that I keep in a notebook.This morning was:" Fill your head with just good things! "I also have Bill get into meditation, he needs it! 39;
Jean, who met Bill through a dating website in 1997 and married him in 2012, admits that she was the mastermind behind his new venture. But now he sees his work as an encouragement to succeed.
"Although Bill is ambitious, there have been times when he wanted to give up, but I encourage him to keep going, I also make sure to socialize with friends who also have their own businesses." Bill knows he should ask for advice, fortunately companies do not compete with each other. yes.
& # 39; Bill does not have time to relax. Eventually, he would like a log cabin at the back of the garden for business, but that will not happen yet.
"Bill loves me being his cheerleader, and I also make sure he eats healthy."
Meanwhile, Bill says that Jean's secret is to motivate him through gentle persuasion, rather than intimidation.
Carla (in the picture) says that she has transformed her husband's world and that he will be the first to admit that her life has improved
"Jean helps me get out of my comfort zone," he says. "Every night I get to the front door and the first thing we do is sit on the couch and get up to date, she always wants to know what I'm doing and what I want to achieve next, we are a goal oriented couple and that depends on Jean ".
Of course, it is praiseworthy to support your spouse to reach goals, but when this spills over into behavior control, alarm bells should ring.
If Tiger Wife suddenly looks more like Tiger Mum, dictating instead of arguing, it can affect other aspects of his life. I often meet powerful men whose wives have guided them throughout the race. It is not unusual to discover that you have had a love affair. If the grip of the tiger's wife is too tight, a man may feel the need to flee. If you meet someone spontaneous and fun, the temptation can be irresistible.
After all, intimacy is the first to suffer when the healthy stimulation of a wife becomes rebuke and cajoling. If the husband does not get the promotion for which both worked so much, that can detract respect from the wife for her husband. This can lead to man feeling a failure.
In such cases, I often suggest that a wife enter her husband's workplace and observe him in action. Seeing him lead a team can be incredibly attractive. The power is incredibly attractive.
The secret, of course, is balance. And fortunately for men like Adam, James and Bill, it seems that their wives are pushing them in the direction they would like to take.
"I do not think I would feel motivated to do this without Jean," says Bill. "She is very loyal and could not juggle a full-time job and new business without her.
"She has a firm and silent persistence to push me and I can lose patience with her." But we always make amends quickly. I need her behind me all the way.
Jennie Miller is a psychotherapist and co-author of Boundaries: How to draw the line in her head, heart and home (HQ, £ 9.48).
You have a tiger husband pushing you towards greater things? Let us know to: firstname.lastname@example.org