In an emotional tribute, Malin Andersson spoke out about the tragic loss of her daughter.
The 26-year-old reality star lost her daughter Consy last January, just a month after giving birth due to ‘complications’.
Malin took to Instagram on Saturday and uploaded a photo of her positive pregnancy test from 2018 and wrote a poignant caption about the life lessons she learned from carrying her daughter.
Heartbreaking: Malin Andersson spoke out in an emotional tribute about her daughter’s tragic loss
Malin is incredibly candid on social media and uses her platform as a bid to help her 621,000 Instagram followers with their issues.
She wrote, “This photo was meant to be a happy memory. Something that would have become part of Consy’s memory box and would eventually become part of the story explaining how she came to this earth.
“Now it has become a bittersweet memory. When I took this pregnancy test, I hadn’t quite realized how much I wanted her.
“How ready I was to give my life to my baby, and it wasn’t until the positive emerged that all these raw emotions came to mind.
Tragedy: 26-year-old reality star lost her daughter Consy last January, just a month after giving birth due to ‘complications’
“It felt like my mom had given me the ultimate blessing of having a family of her own and I remember feeling excited and scared at the same time.”
The beauty, who appeared on series two of the reality show in 2016, gave birth seven weeks early on December 23, 2018.
But just a month later, she shared the devastating news with fans that the sweet Consy, who shares Malin with Tom Kemp, had died after being groomed on Great Ormond Street.
RIP: The beauty, which appeared in series two of the reality show in 2016, gave birth seven weeks early on December 23, 2018
Malin continued, “It had happened so quickly, but no matter what happened, I knew my baby girl was meant for me and somehow we would go through life together.
“I will never forget the first few moments that you find yourself carrying life with you, but it can also become a terrifying event that remains buried very deep after the trauma of the loss of your own child.
“This wasn’t the first pregnancy test I had done, I was still so shocked when I lost my mom that I convinced myself this is no good.”
Candid: Malin took a photo of her positive 2018 pregnancy test on Instagram on Saturday and wrote a poignant caption about her grief
For Malin, her daughter’s death came after the devastating loss of her own mother – who died in November 2017.
This year was the second Mother’s Day Malin spent without her daughter and the third without her mother.
She added, “How can I be so lucky after feeling unhappy for so long. I got addicted to doing pregnancy tests.
Somehow I got five on the same day, and every time the positive came on, exactly the same feelings would arise.
Beautiful: Earlier this year, Malin shared ‘For me this Mother’s Day comes after a long year asking whether or not I am really a mother’
“These moments touch you in ways that are hard to explain, but I can never completely let go of the familiar but deep longing I feel when I look at this photo.”
She talked about the struggle of the journey of grief since Consy’s death, but how she always tries to remember that “there is always light, whatever you look for.”
Malin added, “This journey was a journey of struggle, pain, and growth. However, it is important to me that when I post my truths, I remain faithful that no matter how difficult these trials may be, there is always light whatever you seek.
“I may not have had the blessing of seeing my beautiful daughter come to life after I found out I was pregnant and carrying her, but I know her journey was never about and the life lessons I learned from Consy will live with me.
“Please know, if you are ever faced with a similar heartache, you are not alone, there are lighter, more peaceful times ahead of you, and your pregnancy has never been accelerated.
In March, Malin posted a poem she wrote that was shared on an information board for service on a London Underground line.
The moving poem, called I’ll Always Be Your Mum, was written as a moving speech to her daughter.
Grief: For Malin, her daughters passed away after the devastating loss of her own mother who died in November 2017
It says, “I will always be your mother, girl, no one will ever take that from me.
“I will always be your mother, I know you are smiling and floating in heaven.
“I’ll always be your mom, girl, never forget about kicking my stomach and forget the way you used to turn.
Emotional: She spoke of the grief struggle, but notes how she always tries to remember that there is “always light, whatever you look for”
“I will always be your mother, always strong. Who says I am not a mother … is completely wrong ‘.
Earlier this year, reflecting on their precious few weeks together, Malin revealed, “I played with her hands and feet while she was in the incubator, but I couldn’t hold her.
“I also got involved in changing diapers and spoke [breast milk] so she could get my milk. She was 4 pounds 8 oz, so too small for surgery. I could only hope for a miracle. ‘
Food for thought: Malin posted a poem she wrote that was shared on a service information board on a London Underground line
Malin confessed to torturing herself about why Consy died, and admitted, “We went to her body in the morgue and she looked so peaceful, but I still couldn’t hold her. I had been carrying a baby for seven months and then nothing …
“I felt empty, I have a scar where my baby was taken from me, but there is no baby. I am a mother without a baby. I couldn’t stop thinking, “why me?” ‘
Malin and Tom, who had recently been reunited after a brief split, left their baby to rest in February, but shortly after announcing that they had ended their relationship because they were struggling with their grief, deciding it was better to put things between them to end.
Her love: Malin and Tom, who had recently reunited after a short split, let their baby rest in February, but shortly after announcing that they had ended their relationship because they were struggling with their grief, deciding it was better to do things between them