Hooking can tend to be hard to do, whether you are searching for just random flings, one-night stands, or actual love. It can be very weird if you just go up to someone and ask them to hook up, and quite literally should never happen. If you’re searching for love in random hook ups, then here are some tips to help you hook up.
Something that is very important in any type of sexual relationship is to get consent. Even if you’re doing just the basics, if you sense the other party not being comfortable, stop what you are doing and ask them what’s wrong.try to get verbal consent from the other person before you do anything. Now, you don’t want to ask every 5 minutes whether they’re comfortable or not and kill the mood. Instead, try asking them to stop you anytime they’re uncomfortable. It is very important that you make sure you’re comfortable as well.
Be Honest About Your Intentions
Being on the same page is very important wherever any type of sexual interaction occurs. No, you shouldn’t go up to someone and say “I want to hook up and evolve this hook up into a relationship” or “I want to hook up and never see your face again”. But you still need to make it clear what you’re looking for and make sure that the other person has the same intentions. Part of getting consent is expressing what you really want and then see if the other person will still want to hook up. If you’re looking for a relationship or trying to find love, you can express it in your conversation with that person. If you’re looking for the opposite and just want a casual hook up, make it clear to them that you’re not looking for anything serious.
Try Out Hook up Sites
It is much easier to find a hookup than everyone thinks. It can seem hard because you’ll think of where you’re going to meet someone and decide that you want to hook up with them. And when you do find them, what are you going to say? First things first, don’t feel ashamed or guilty for wanting to hook up. If you do feel that way, it will make it very hard to talk to someone and lead the conversation in that direction. Be sure that it is very normal for you to want a sexual engagement, it is human nature after all.
The conversation you’re going to have with that person that you intend on hooking up with should start off with small talk and a little flirtation. You will sense it if it’s time to ask them to go somewhere else where you have more privacy. If they decide to decline your offer, don’t force it upon them or make them feel uncomfortable. Accept their response. One thing that you can try are dating/hookup websites. Those websites are actually becoming very common among people and have the sole purpose of finding you someone to hook up with. The main downside to these applications or websites, according to westword.com, is that they have plenty of fake accounts. However, this can be fixed by video chatting with that person before meeting up with them. Applications and websites that are made to find hook ups are very easy to use and they make the process of finding someone to hook up with very easy. You don’t have to worry about whether that person wants to hook up or not, they are on this app for that reason. However, if someone shows discomfort during the conversation, assure them that they don’t have to keep talking or to meet up if it bothers them. Make sure that you cut off any conversation where you’re not comfortable.
As always, safety comes first. It is very important that not at any moment you put your safety in line. It goes without saying that you shouldn’t share any personal information about yourself to that person if you’re not sure they are trusted. If you plan on having them over at your place, make sure that you put away any valuables in a safe place. If you’re going with them to their place, don’t ride with them, follow them with your car. If you don’t feel safe at any time, leave. Make sure to share your whereabouts with a friend or a family member as soon as you arrive, and leave any valuables in your car. Try not to eat nor drink anything at their place. Always wear protection to avoid STDs.
Set Your Boundaries
In relationships, especially ones where sex is involved, most people seem to neglect their needs and boundaries while focusing solely on the other parties needs and boundaries. If there’s something in particular that you would not like to do, make it clear to the other person beforehand. If there’s something in particular that you do want to do, share your thoughts with the other person. If you already agreed to do something and you don’t feel like it anymore, don’t be shy or scared, ask them to stop.
Sex is about much more than just two bodies, it is a connection. In order to connect with someone and find chemistry there, you will want to connect with them. Try to make eye contact, to connect with them through your eyes. Don’t make it creep though, it shouldn’t look like you’re staring. Compliment them, but don’t do it too much nor too little. When someone is comfortable and confident around you, it will make your experience so much better.
If at the beginning you only wanted a quick hook up, fling or just a one-night stand and by the end of the night found that you actually want to know this person more, leave them your number. If your intentions were to actually evolve something real and the chemistry was just not there, share that with that person in a way that will not hurt them. Make sure that you and the other party are both satisfied and comfortable during the whole time.