They still don’t know who shot JFK, but millions of people think they know what happened to the Princess of Wales.
For them, it occupied almost every waking moment.
It’s no wonder, then, that this mysterious new sighting has sparked not only bewilderment but also anger among Kate’s legions of fans.
We are informed that William and Catherine were seen at the Windsor Farm Store on Saturday and went the next day to watch their children play sports.
Yet in the age of smartphones, no one – no one – took a photo.
I was on the phone with three girlfriends yesterday when we heard the rumor that a big announcement was imminent. We were terrified. In tears.
Kim Kardashian joked on social media this weekend that she was on her way “to find Kate”
Then learning, a few hours later, that the royal couple had been spotted relaxing was like a kick in the teeth.
We felt stupid. And we’re still not convinced. In fact, we feel royally fucked.
If the royal family is all about respect, about doing the right thing, I for one feel completely disrespected.
Have we spent all these days worrying for nothing?
Aside from the most macabre theories – Catherine is in a coma, was hit by a Covid vaccine, left her husband and the country – most are far-fetched.
Kate had a bad haircut and is waiting for it to grow back. She was a participant in Wonka’s much-derided experiment. She is Banksy.
She has had a Brazilian butt lift and/or face lift. The finger injury that occurred in September 2023 turned into something serious.
On February 23, two black horses and a gray horse were seen leaving Buckingham Palace: apparently a bad omen. When it comes to TikTok, she directed Gone Girl and – in the style of the best-selling novel and subsequent film – made herself disappear into thin air.
Asked about the edited photo released of Kate and her children on Mother’s Day, White House spokeswoman Karine Jean-Pierre sneered and said: “It’s not something we let’s do here.”
This all reminds me of an episode of Fawlty Towers where Basil can’t bear to tell his friends that Sybil left in a huff. On the contrary, he says that she is sick, in bed and that her thighs are swollen.
So Basil is digging himself into a deeper and deeper hole – and that’s exactly what Wales are currently doing. Maybe they also bought a trowel at the garden center.
I’m tired of commenters saying all this speculation is just bullying or a simple waste of time.
A Sunday newspaper attempted to dismiss online concern about Kate, calling it “lewd”, cruel theater, both “degrading and infantilising”.
Really? I agree with Earl Spencer when he said the focus on his sister Diana was far more dangerous than the current online scrutiny of Kate.
The point is, we play detective because we care. So stop trying to downplay the doctored Mother’s Day photo.
A source close to the Welsh reportedly said Kate was not a “show pony.” But, in the nicest way possible, that’s EXACTLY what she is.
The photo published by Kensington Palace on the occasion of Mother’s Day of Kate and her children George, Charlotte and Louis. Kate later admitted she had digitally edited the photo
Ninety-nine point nine percent of us will only know the Princess of Wales through the lens of a camera.
The late Queen once said that you have to see the monarchy to believe it. NOW? We don’t believe what we see.
Catherine doesn’t say much, so the image is everything. Each photograph is part of the story.
If she wants to be “amateur” in her photos, as she says, then she is in the wrong profession.
Because Kate matters. She could become queen in a few years.
As long as she’s okay, we’re okay.
We need her to be stable, happy, smiling in a world that is very far from that.
And we need her to accept that a portrait of a movie star or model in a magazine – possibly “edited” – is completely different from a highly anticipated news photograph.
Reputable photo agencies cannot participate in any distortion in the age of artificial intelligence.
Most newspaper and television reports still pat us on the head like we are children, acting as if everything is going according to plan.
One said palace phones were “ringing off the hook” with well wishes from the public.
Prince William leaves Windsor for Westminster Abbey this afternoon with his wife, the Princess of Wales, by his side.
I don’t believe it for a single second. Who calls a landline these days when they can post online?
The solution to all this speculation and ridicule is simple: don’t ignore us, as the Prince of Wales did during his Earthshot speech on Thursday evening.
When a reporter called, “William, how is Catherine?” there was no acknowledgment, which just seemed awkward, given the furor.
This is particularly true abroad, where the media are nowhere near as reserved as ours.
Did you see the White House press secretary sneer when asked about the photo, saying, “That’s not something we do here”?
Even Kim Kardashian joked over the weekend that she was “on her way to find Kate.”
It’s like the world is just waiting for a tail.
William: we understand that you want to protect your family, to have a private bubble. But Earthshot was a public moment. Why not smile and say she’s okay?
Oh, and don’t take four weeks off at Easter, leaving others to hold the fort.
Kate: we see her smile and wave for a few seconds. King Charles does it valiantly, even though he looks mushy.
Hiding makes a mockery of all your mental health initiatives and the importance of being open.
One minute you’re on Insta, the next it’s like you’re locked in the Tower.
The world waits, holding its breath. Yet no one can produce a photo of this visit to the farm, not even a blurry profile.
If all of this is true – and you really did take a leisurely trip to the garden center – it’s even worse.
You could have taken a selfie and posted it. There. Do. Sorted.
None of this makes any sense.