Did Meghan ‘Me First’ Markle Fail?
The release of ‘American Riviera Orchard’ is turning into a big headache for Princess Neverwas.
As a frenzy of fascination bubbled around the Princess of Wales MIA last month, Meghan unveiled her shimmering off-white lifestyle brand.
Some suggested the duchess was cruelly taking advantage of so-called Kategate to whip up her new topics, spreads and nonsense. Others said they couldn’t believe she was cooking so carelessly in a white blouse and no apron in that embarrassing and creepy promotional video.
Either way, the moment came as something of a snub to the Welsh.
The slanderous rumors in the United States about the health of their marriage were reaching a boiling point. Dirty duo Andy Cohen and Stephen Colbert were making jokes at Kate’s expense. And the proximity of Meg’s Insta performance felt too close for Californians’ comfort when Prince William took the stage in London just hours later, at an awards ceremony in honor of his late mother. Oh!
Of course, the brand itself is a shameless royal masquerade. (See Defected Duchess Meghan in a floor-length ballgown with the faux gold-embroidered logo.)
Did Meghan ‘Me First’ Markle Fail? The release of ‘American Riviera Orchard’ is turning into a big headache for Princess Neverwas.
As a frenzy of fascination bubbled around the Princess of Wales MIA last month, Meghan unveiled her shimmering off-white lifestyle brand.
Perhaps, with the gossiping pixies working overtime to bad-mouth Kate, Meghan couldn’t pass up the opportunity to rub herself in some royal pixie dust.
After all, Windsor’s vague association and more relaxed lips are the only things keeping her relevant. Spotify and the harsh desert of Hollywood are hardly elevating it to Mount Olympus.
And so, wrapped in sepia and Montecito musk, it promises scents and serums, dog beds, handkerchiefs and napkin rings galore.
Or is it her?
You see, now that we know the devastating truth about Kate’s cancer diagnosis, this Martha Stewart misadventure seems a little heavy-handed for Harry.
Even Meghan, never afraid to stick her LA paddle where it’s not needed, must surely know that any product launches like fig balsamic sauce or grievance-scented sticks would now leave her looking like a truly unfriendly Viscountess of Venom.
Could the whole home goods project, Tig 2.0 and the promised Netflix cooking show have to wither in the garden?
The South Park writers surely hope so.
It seems to me that Meghan is in a situation more complicated than blueberry Jell-O, but really she has herself to blame.
Although Kate’s cancer was still a secret at the time of the brand’s launch, Meghan knew, like the rest of us, that the 42-year-old mother of three was convalescing after abdominal surgery. It was evident that something quite serious was wrong.
You’ll need your vegan leather hiking boots to escape this one. But our Meghan is nothing more than a transformer.
There’s always the re-re-re-release.
Sex and snowflakes
The full episode count of ‘Sex and the City’ is now on Netflix, meaning millions of Gen Z newbies will be included in the wonderful world of phallic brunch talk and Manolo’s magnificence.
Snowflakes better have smelling salts in their Pradas.
Whether it’s Samantha’s insults about a trans prostitute, Charlotte forcing her boyfriend to get circumcised, Miranda’s interracial fantasies, or Carrie’s distaste for a lover’s bisexuality, these pre-MeToo gems explode like politically incorrect confetti cannons.
Get ready for the Twitter tantrum!
The full episode count of ‘Sex and the City’ is now on Netflix, meaning millions of Gen Z newbies will be included in the wonderful world of phallic brunch talk and Manolo’s magnificence.
Florida Hell
Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis’ new six-week abortion ban could hurt the Republican Party in its adult diapers again.
The Sunshine State Supreme Court gave Sleepy Joe a double whammy in the arm this week by upholding the aggressive new law while giving Democrats the green light to put the issue back on the ballot in November. just in time for the general election.
Abortion rights largely won the 2022 midterm elections for this administration. And now, with Kamala one-note jumping on the pro-choice bandwagon at every turn, she can bet Biden will fan Florida’s flames to reignite her terrible poll numbers.
barbie pick
Shakira won’t be riding a pink Pepto Bismol tour bus anytime soon.
The Latina singer, known for her painfully honest hips, has bravely spoken out against the universally beloved Barbie movie because it made her young children feel “castrated.”
She’s right: Greta Gerwig’s feminist marathon crushed every man’s pride to prove that the fair sex is the best.
But in reality this fourth quarter review is too obvious and too late. Will you tell us that the Squid Game was pretty violent and that Al Gore really won Florida?
The Latina singer, known for her painfully honest hips, has bravely spoken out against the universally beloved Barbie movie because it made her young children feel “castrated.”
haughty hillary
The town’s pantsuit does it again.
Hillary Clinton fumbled her special brand of nauseating candor on Monday, telling undecided voters who are worried about Biden’s advanced age to “get over themselves” … and vote for him anyway!
“I don’t understand why this is a difficult election (between Trump and Biden),” he told talk show host Jimmy Fallon. She made similar comments early last month.
It is this type of hobby that alienates the electorate that saw her humiliated in 2016.
Beyoncé’s bad grade
Whisper it, but Beyoncé’s new country album is… okay.
For all the frenetic talk of a genre-defying paradigm shift, ‘Cowboy Carter’ left me sore in all the wrong places.
Pompous promises of collaborations with legends Willie Nelson and Dolly Parton turned out to be disposable interludes.
The rewritten ‘Jolene’ was better when Miley Cyrus covered it. ‘Texas Hold ‘Em’ screeches after turn 14. And ’16 Carriages’ sounds like the soundtrack to my daughter’s favorite Disney movie.
‘Protector’ may contain such a sweet snippet of Queen Bey’s 6-year-old Rumi asking mom for a lullaby, but this mediocre album is enough to put me to sleep.
Whisper it, but Beyoncé’s new country album is… okay. For all the frenetic talk of a genre-defying paradigm shift, ‘Cowboy Carter’ left me sore in all the wrong places.
With friends like these…
Golden couple Ashton Kutcher and Mila Kunis rusted their reputations with nausea-inducing public support for fellow Scientologist and bearded rapist Danny Masterson last fall.
Karma is a Kunis because Kutcher, the professional butcher, is now looking down. other sordid scandal.
While there is no indication of wrongdoing on his part, sources say Kutcher fears his two-decade-long bromance with rapper and accused sex trafficker Diddy could land him a subpoena.
“Mila will not allow Ashton to have any contact (with Diddy),” a source told DailyMail.com.
One more ruinous fight Chez Kutcher and his wife, the ‘Black Swan’ actress, could emerge victorious.