Bravo executive big mouth Andy Cohen yucked it up Tuesday night with wannabe funnyman John Oliver on Cohen’s titular talk show ‘Watch What Happens Live’… and I really wish I hadn’t watched at all.
I lost respect for Oily Oliver and his tired schtick years ago. But recent reports that he had gone full intifada in defense of Palestine only confirmed what I feared:
If a washed-up clown can’t make them laugh, he’ll make them puke instead!
And his recent overbaked hot take has actually been nauseating in the extreme.
Cohen and Oliver, two sad salt and pepper pots – Andy bronzed and smeared in her too-tight pinstripe, JLo inexplicably in tracksuits – guffawed and grabbed for the fading glimmer of the limelight and pulled the stricken Princess Kate into the picture.
But like sloppy Photoshop, Andy’s immersion in the gelatinous ‘Katespiracy’ soup was as subtle as Sharon Osborne’s latest facelift.
Bravo boss big mouth Andy Cohen yucked it up Tuesday night with wannabe funnyman John Oliver on Cohen’s titular talk show ‘Watch What Happens Live’ … and I really wish I hadn’t seen it at all .
Cohen and Oliver, two sad salt-and-pepper pots – Andy bronzed and smeared in her too-tight pinstripe, JLo inexplicably in tracksuits – guffawed and grabbed for the fading glimmer of the limelight and pulled the stricken Princess Kate into the picture.
“What the hell is going on with Kate Middleton?” he squealed.
To which a piquant Oliver chirped: ‘I thought let’s all just ignore this, we’ve moved on… until the Photoshop thing and it feels like you’re almost handling it badly in an impressive way at this point.’
Thanks Johnny! I’m sure Palace PRs are taking careful note.
But wait, there was more from our favorite bottom feeders:
“There’s a chance she died 18 months ago,” Oliver said with thinly veiled glee. “They might be at Bernie’s for the weekend in this situation.”
(Vanderpump Rules ‘star’ and fellow couch potato Ariana Madix thought bubble: ‘How many are non-zero!?’)
Oh my giddiness, you know what’s totally hilarious? Two men speeding past mid-careers, careers headed for the bottom, jibing about the potential death of a young mother-of-three recovering from major surgery.
You know who White House wet wipe Oliver would never dream of trashing with his ‘Weekend At Bernie’s’ dud? Our careless boss, Joe Biden.
What is that stench coming out under the studio lights? I smell last week’s reheated chicken!
It’s truly amazing—with all the crowded writers’ rooms and Emmys under their collective belts—how quickly the comedy escapes this desperate duo.
From Cohen – the most seasoned Real Housewife – we really shouldn’t expect anything less than TikTok-fueled rants.
But for Oliver – who likes to cosplay as a foreign policy guru and political Big Brain masterminding disasters here and abroad – shooting directly at the crown jewels with this most malignant of mud is surely a rotten low point.
Oh my giddiness, you know what’s totally hilarious? Two men speeding past mid-careers, careers headed for the bottom, jibing about the potential death of a young mother-of-three recovering from major surgery.
They are not the only ones.
Over at Udsigden, the chickens were about to peck away on Wednesday with some ugly witchcraft.
Joy-less Behar stepped up to inform viewers that she doesn’t trust the royal family because she had seen The Crown.
Burying her face in her hands, Sara Haines hysterically suggested that the princess has gone COMPLETELY: ‘Where are you, Kate?… She’s not there!’
Sunny Hostin, in her wisdom, agreed.
And in a sign that the insanity watermark has truly been reached, Whoopi Goldberg—spectacularly wrong on almost everything—tried her best sister act as the voice of reason.
“When you buy into this (conspiracies), when they start doing it to your family… it’s not cute,” she thundered.
A welcome burst of reality from Whoopi Cushion.
Back to the Andy Cohen issue, it’s fun to see what happens as he is sued and tattooed as a pariah by an angry and highly litigious crew of Bravolebrities.
Poisonous allegations of on-site racism, bullying and forced alcohol consumption are now running thick in the Housewife sphere.
Full disclosure: I made out with Below Deck’s Captain Jason in a bar two years ago after a boozy dinner with Bravo executives. Cohen was not present. Although come to think of it, I went to Andy’s pride party in Manhattan a few months ago. Lots and lots of hot young men. Andy looked like a giddy grandpa – and it was always, in my experience, healthy and fun.
But in recent weeks, former RH star Leah McSweeney filed an explosive lawsuit against Cohen and Bravo, alleging that Andy ‘tortured’ and ‘degraded’ her for quality on-screen drama and even took cocaine with the cast.
Accused Coke Daddy Cohen has fired back, dismissing McSweeney’s claims as false and defamatory.
Nevertheless, McSweeney – who has spent time in psychiatric facilities and has spoken openly about his alcohol addiction – has felt the brunt of Cohen’s on-screen chicanery.
In recent weeks, former RH star Leah McSweeney filed an explosive lawsuit against Cohen and Bravo, alleging that Andy ‘tortured’ and ‘degraded’ her for quality on-screen drama and even took cocaine with the cast.
Despite knowing about her alcoholism, Cohen committed an episode of ‘Watch What Happens Live’ to quizzing guests on whether McSweeney had been fun on a girls’ trip where she had insisted – for the sake of her health – on staying sober .
Whenever someone mentioned McSweeney, Cohen instructed viewers to grab a drink.
It was the same sad story when Raquel Leviss did her own stint in a health facility when her sordid ‘Scandoval’ affair with adulterer Tom Sandoval – cheating on John Oliver’s giggle elf Mrs Madix – spilled over into global news media.
Bravo executives were well aware of Leviss’ issues — and yet Cohen dedicated another episode to grilling her screenmates about what they thought of her mental health.
SNL’s Chloe Fineman slammed Leviss as a “filthy whore,” and Cohen simply laughed.
Oliver, meanwhile, is a transatlantic travesty who takes on too much water to be saved.
In a recent on-camera screed proudly donning his pro-Palestine credentials, Oliver smeared the staunchest defenders of the Jewish state as ‘dip**ts’.
The truth is, Oliver is a narcissist stuck on yesterday’s soundtrack – and Cohen and The View’s chapesses are little better.
The furore surrounding the beleaguered Kate is thinner than a housewife on Ozempic. Cruelly stirring the conspiratorial pot for clicks is as ugly as it gets.