A young Australian woman who wants to settle down and start a family has revealed her strict relationship rules when it comes to looking for a partner.
Sydney woman Kelsey Thom’s ultimate goal is to become a housewife and take care of her children after finding the perfect man.
The 24-year-old follows a strict set of rules to find the perfect candidate, revealing that the man must arrange the date, pick her up and pay for their evening.
Ms. Thom is part of the “tradwife” movement, primarily conservative millennial and Gen Z women who adhere to a 1950s housewife ideal of not working and instead caring for children, her husband and the house.
Ms Thom appeared on SBS Insight on Tuesday and explained that the mid-century period appealed to her because of its “family unit” values.
Sydney woman Kelsey Thom (pictured)’s ultimate goal is to become a housewife and look after her children.
The 24-year-old is part of the “tradwife” movement – primarily conservative millennial and Gen Z women who adhere to a 1950s housewife ideal of not working and instead caring for her children, her husband and the house.
“It’s part of the values of the times and it’s a shame that we’ve thrown them all away frankly,” Ms Thom said.
“I think we had a strong family unit back then, when people fell in love, they stayed married. There is always merit to having a family unit and having these gender roles.
Ms Thom said her father, who was a mechanic and owned his own business, raised her to be an independent woman.
She added that in the past her relationships were 50/50 but found that it wasn’t for her as she would pay half the bills but still end up with all the cooking and cleaning.
“I’ve had 50/50 relationships…and I didn’t know who I really was at the time,” Ms. Thom said.
“I still noticed that I paid half the bills, that I did the cleaning and cooking. I was like, okay, this is what it is and I can’t do this anymore. It’s not for me.’
While bedridden because of her Crohn’s disease, Ms. Thom said she had a “god moment” when she realized she wanted a more traditional role in relationships.
“When I was 19, I had a pretty good job, a pretty good salary… but I was stuck with illness and there was a period of about two years where I was more or less less bedridden,” Ms. Thom said.
“I think when you spend so much time in bed you inevitably find yourself in a situation where you look around and think about what you’ve done so far.
“I looked around and there was nothing. I kind of thought about what I wanted to see from that perspective in the future. I want to see the children I raised become adults who love me and I want to be surrounded by a family unit.
Currently, Ms. Thom is starting to get to know someone and revealed the strict rules she has for a partner.
With the goal of becoming a tradwife, Ms. Thom takes dating more seriously because the intention is to find someone to marry.
Her rules for a partner include arranging and paying for dates and making sure the man can take care of her.
“The man knows that if we have a date, he has to pay. He had to arrange the dates and pick me up,” Ms Thom said. News.com.au.
“He has to take care of me during this process because I’m looking at what type of partner this person will be.” It’s an intense process.
Aiming to become a tradwife, Ms. Thom takes dating more seriously because her intention is to find someone to marry and she has strict rules for the men she dates.
In turn, Ms Thom said she would take care of their children, saying a wife is the “gentle nurturer for the child’s needs”, while her husband will take on the disciplinarian role.
“The man takes care of the woman while the woman takes care of the children,” she said.
“I think there is confusion because it doesn’t mean that man will never pick up anything from the ground again.” That doesn’t mean it won’t help you stick to your bedtime routine.
She explained that the wife’s role involves 95 percent of childcare so their partner doesn’t have to worry.
There are countless videos on social media showing women living the ‘tradwife’ lifestyle, dividing opinions online, with many saying it goes against everything women work for, while d Others argue that it is the most appropriate way to live.
Ms. Thom’s desire to live the life of a craftswoman has drawn mixed reactions from friends and family.
She said feminists annoyed her the most because they thought her ideals and goal of becoming a commercial woman were “setting feminism back.”
She argued that feminism was about giving women the choice to do what they wanted.
“Yes, we want bank accounts. We want a little independence. If I want to be home, then I’ll be home. If I want to work, then I want to work,” Ms. Thom said.
“I think modern feminism has lost all meaning and become a woman who has to do everything.”
There are countless videos on social media showing women living the ‘tradwife’ lifestyle, which divide opinions online (pictured, Estee Williams, 25, gave up her career when she married to become a housewife)
Ms Thom told Insight the tradwife movement had gained ground in the face of the Covid pandemic because it gave women the chance to “slow down”.
She added that women have already proven that they can do it all – have children, a successful career and a home – but they have realized they don’t want to do it all.
“We have proven that we can have children, have a career and do it all,” Ms Thom told SBS Insight.
“A lot of women, I think, just said, ‘I don’t want to do this anymore. I’m just as fulfilled being at home, having a handsome husband and a few kids, taking care of them and raising the kids.’and being a housewife.’