Tim Walz is everything Kamala Harris needs him to be: a stable Midwesterner, a brave veteran, a working-class hero, a bumbling man. What a shame! Dad… and, oh yeah, a compulsive liar!
This week I ventured into the belly of the beast to witness the Kamala cult at the Democratic National Convention in Chicago, and after the Gee-Whiz Walz coming-out party on Wednesday night, it was as obvious as Oprah’s Ozempic habit why Mamala chose him.
Whether Coach Walz is telling a story about using “weapons of war” during his simulated time in combat, or making up a tale about his long-suffering wife Gwen’s “IVF” treatment that didn’t actually happen, this guy is willing to expend credibility on the cause.
“IVF and fertility treatments are personal to Gwen and me,” he told the crowd.
This week I ventured into the belly of the beast to witness the Kamala cult at the Democratic National Convention in Chicago.
Tim Walz is everything Kamala Harris needs him to be: a quiet Midwesterner, a courageous veteran, a working-class hero, a bumbling father, and, oh yeah, a compulsive liar!
Personal, indeed. In March, Walz received criticism after her team sent out a fundraising email titled “Our IVF Experience.”
Gwen later clarified that she had not undergone in vitro fertilization, but rather a much less invasive procedure known as intrauterine insemination, which is often used before IVF and is less controversial (since it does not involve unborn embryos).
Of course, Walz knows full well that Trump’s biggest weapon of mass destruction that Harris has used is reproductive rights, but I guess facts don’t matter much, do they, Timmy?
The New York delegation was the first to tire of his nonsense. Five minutes before Governor Two-Face finished, the Empire clan had already headed for the exit.
New Yorkers tend to be good at spotting scammers.
Without baby love
If there’s one thing Democrats want to make clear at this convention, it’s that they love, … love Not having babies.
Courtesy of Planned Parenthood, a mobile vasectomy and abortion pill clinic was parked around the corner from Chicago’s United Center. (There was immediately a waiting list.)
There’s also a 18-foot inflatable IUD called the “Freeda Womb.” At a “Hotties for Harris” party (don’t ask), Plan-B pills were dispensed from a gumball machine next to a sign that bizarrely read, “Tim Walz Made Me Have Sex.”
Sorry, do you mean Doug Emhoff?
Courtesy of Planned Parenthood, a mobile vasectomy and abortion pill clinic was parked around the corner from Chicago’s United Center. (There was immediately a waiting list.)
Doug House
Speaking of Doughy Doug, America’s potential first First Gentleman/nanny, sent Twitter into overdrive on Tuesday when he awkwardly wrapped his arm around the waist of his aggressively tattooed and hirsute daughter Ella.
He then proceeded to drool all over his (second) wife in a mind-numbing tone.
If “weird” is the word that’s been overused this presidential season, this family is wearing it well.
Obama’s Beef
And how did Mamala react to that strange scene?
Oh, she wasn’t even there. She was 90 miles away on Tuesday night, holding a curiously timed campaign rally, while Barack and Michelle Obama praised her from the convention stage.
Harris is rumored to have skipped the convention “out of respect” for Biden, who blames the Obamas for ousting him from the race.
Really, it’s the least Kamala could do after leading the coup.
Harris is rumored to have skipped the convention “out of respect” for Biden, who blames the Obamas for ousting him from the race.
Kennedy Coup!
Independent candidate Robert F. Kennedy Jr. will reportedly drop out of the presidential race on Friday and endorse Donald Trump.
Ouch! That would be a kick in the pants for Kamala.
Can you blame RFK Jr?
For months, Democrats have been using every aunt, uncle, brother, sister and lover (just kidding) of Kennedy’s to destroy the Rowdy Robbie character.
Perhaps the speech supporting Harris on Tuesday by RFK Jr.’s cousin, Vogue’s new political correspondent Jack Schlossberg, was the final straw.
PS: If Schlossberg is a journalist… I am Jackie Onassis!
Irritating plane
On a crowded flight to Chicago, a chatty young woman was heard loudly bragging that she had been selected as a DNC delegate from Pennsylvania.
Then her boyfriend intervened.
“She’s not even from Pennsylvania. She lives in New York,” he laughed out loud. “Is that legal?”
Why was this leggy Latina so sought after? In her own words, because she’s “dark-haired.”
A DEI hire! How charming!
To go
This week at the convention center, CNN is hosting a delicious cafe with free food for hungry journalists to socialize, just as they did in Milwaukee for the Republican National Convention last month.
Then, as readers will recall, I reported how CNN lady Dana Bash had given me several suspicious glances as I sipped a chopped salad and a Coke Zero.
This time, for some reason, my RSVP to the dining hall disappeared.
What’s a hungry girl to do? I snuck in through a side door and left with a delicious ice cream.
Worm chaos
The poor homeless people of the Indiana delegation nearly got a gruesome protein treat on Wednesday when suspected pro-Palestine fanatics sprinkled maggots into their breakfast.
Police swarmed the Fairmont Hotel in the Windy City after panicked reports that the most important meal of the day had been tampered with.
These genocidal-sympathizing morons are always coming up with new ways to make the rest of us want to vomit.
Convention Creeper
There’s another creep roaming around the United Center. It’s none other than convicted perjurer himself, Michael Cohen.
He was heard bragging to an attractive young woman about how “close” he lived to Jared Kushner and Ivanka Trump.
At some point, Mike, you’re going to have to stop milking this.
There’s another creep roaming around the United Center. It’s none other than convicted perjurer himself, Michael Cohen.
The Pro-Hamas Horrors
After the festivities, I was escorted home by an angry pro-Hamas activist, who took great offense when I politely (not really) asked her if she also cared about the Israeli hostages held in Gaza.
With his iPhone camera in front of him, he followed me for several blocks, shouting obscenities.
Fortunately, the only thing I was running was the risk of getting bored to death.
