This impending divorce couldn’t happen to a more deserving and insufferable couple.
Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez, who have been shoving their ultra-special and all-consuming ‘love story’ down our collective throats for the past two years and most of the first few years, are about to break up again.
Stevie Wonder saw it coming. All He saw it coming, except, apparently, Ben and J.Lo.
“Everyone thought I was crazy,” López told Variety just three months ago. “And by the way, I thought he was crazy.”
She didn’t talk about this new marriage, her fourth, nor about her insistence on being taken seriously as a singer who doesn’t know how to sing, nor about her determination to mount a concert tour that was only doomed to failure (like now, canceled). last week in another humiliation.
Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez, who have been shoving their ultra-special and all-consuming ‘love story’ down our collective throats for the past two years and most of the first few years, are about to break up again. (Pictured last month).
Stevie Wonder saw it coming. Everyone saw this coming, except, apparently, Ben and J.Lo. (Pictured this weekend).
No: He was talking about his multimedia tribute to Affleck and their love, in the form of an album, a musical film and a $20 million self-financed documentary, a vision that Hollywood executives simply couldn’t understand and wouldn’t support.
“Prince did it with ‘Purple Rain,'” he says in the document.
Is she real? Prince was a genius, an original, a sui generis artist. Jennifer Lopez is a flat singer who probably owes her career to autotune and her scandalous time with Diddy (which, karmically, can backfire on her).
But that’s the level of delirium in Lopez’s la-la land. Not even a warning from her longtime manager, Elaine Goldsmith-Thomas, was enough to stop her.
“I was worried,” Goldsmith-Thomas said of Lopez’s plans. He asked Lopez: ‘Why are you sharing your story? It’s too personal. For.’
Exactly! We get the memo, Jen: You beat the depressed alcoholic gambler who allegedly slept with his children’s babysitter behind his then-wife Jennifer Garner’s back (he fervently denied it, of course), and then made Garner stop for fast food at the On the way to rehab! It’s a love story for all ages! You were the one all along, lucky girl!
You can’t sell people what they know is complete nonsense.
Affleck has been walking around for most of the year looking miserable (admittedly, it’s his factory default setting), slamming car doors with J.Lo in the passenger seat, sitting glumly at the Grammys while she seemingly yells at him to “seem motivated.” !’, or tolerate a terribly An awkward kiss from her, as if she were suffering from the administration of painful medication, as she did this weekend.
J.Lo should have known. When he met up with Affleck, fresh from his then-fiancé Alex Rodriguez, who had to deny claims that he was caught flirting with a reality TV star, what a shame! – They told the world that they canceled their first wedding, scheduled for September 2003, due to media attention.
“I would say it was about 50 percent (of what destroyed our relationship),” Affleck told Howard Stern.
The other 50 percent must have been reports that while filming in Canada, weeks before their wedding, and just hours after their amorous ‘Dateline’ interview aired, Affleck had allegedly performed oral sex on a stripper, in a strip club, in front of his co-stars.
By the way, this idea that Affleck is a serious artist who can’t stand publicity or paparazzi, who endures what he has to in order to create, is also complete garbage.
He spent most of the pandemic organizing paparazzi outings with his then-girlfriend Ana de Armas. When they separated, he made sure photographers took a photo of her life-sized figure cut out of her trash.
After divorcing Garner in 2018, he essentially blamed her for his alcoholism.
“I’d probably still be drinking (if we hadn’t gotten divorced),” Affleck told Stern. “Part of the reason I started drinking alcohol was because I was depressed.”
Classy boy.
We get the memo, Jen: You beat the depressed alcoholic gambler who allegedly slept with his children’s babysitter behind his then-wife Jennifer Garner’s back (he fervently denied it, of course), and then made Garner stop for fast food at the On the way to rehab! It’s a love story for all ages! You were the one all along, lucky girl! (Pictured in 2003).
You can’t sell people what they know is complete nonsense. Affleck has been walking around for most of the year looking miserable, slamming car doors with J.Lo in the passenger seat, sitting glumly at the Grammys while she seemingly yells at him to “look motivated.” (Pictured: Her wedding in 2022).
Affleck recently appeared at Tom Brady’s roast, sounding and looking shaky; However, sources close to him blame Lopez, famous for her clean living, for the impact her “lifestyle” is having on her marriage.
Now he’s wandering around Los Angeles, waving his hands so we can all see if he’s wearing his wedding ring, and currently spending $100,000 a month on a rental in Brentwood.
That’s Ben Affleck. He’s the guy whose camp is apparently reporting on his utter victimization at the hands of J.Lo, a woman who can’t shut up for a single second about the incredible Ben Affleck.
“If there was a way to divorce on the grounds of temporary insanity, I would do it,” a source said last week. “He feels like the last two years were just a fever dream, and now he has come to his senses and understands that there is no way this is going to work.”
Most women, when humiliated like this by their husband, would throw their clothes in the front yard, change the locks, lose his number, and quickly call the best divorce lawyer in town.
Not our J.Lo. She clings to her life, looking down on a fourth divorce, the commercial and critical failures that were the Affleck-centric album and the films that accompanied it, all that cultural relevance and romance (it’s hard to know which she values more ). the proverbial drain.
Hey, if these two malignant narcissists can’t make it work, who can?
At least we got some great performance art. Here’s some of what we’ve been subjected to this round:
- Two weddings, a quickie at a Las Vegas chapel, all documented on J.Lo’s Instagram and feeling suspiciously desperate on her part.
- Gluttonous eight-figure home purchases on both coasts.
- J.Lo’s tribute album to Ben, ‘This Is Me… Now’, with a song with these execrable lyrics: ‘Missing your body/Climbing on top of me/Slippin’ inside of me/Way that I ride it /Bodies aligning/ Look at our moment.’ Both she and Ben have school-age children.
- López – in her documentary – brandishing a thick folder, given to her by Affleck, which contains all of her love letters from 2001 to the present. This timeline overlaps with Affleck’s marriage to Jennifer Garner, the mother of his three children. He speaks of an unnecessarily cruel cut.
And hasn’t Jennifer Garner suffered enough?
The key difference here is that people actually supported Garner. She seems decent, nice, and never commodified her relationship with Affleck.
J.Lo, however… it’s hard to support someone so limited, talentless, and self-centered. That he has been gloating about his happy marriage until he is no longer one. Who shut up a journalist by asking the only question any decent journalist would ask: What’s going on with his marriage?
“You know better,” J.Lo chided last month.
Who are you kidding? Alone, it seems.
J.Lo is clinging to her life, navigating the path of a fourth divorce, the commercial and critical failures that were the Affleck-centric album and the films that accompanied it, all that cultural relevance and romance twirling down the proverbial drain. (Pictured last week).
Maybe Ben’s bad behavior will dissuade her from stopping fighting for this marriage. She may learn something and disappear for a while, then she will resurface with some humility.
Maybe. But probably not.
Here’s her seemingly adoring husband in his documentary talking about how he sees her: Like a bottomless pit of need!
No amount of love, she tells us, nor success, nor fame, nor wealth will make her happy.
Doctor, heal yourself.
“In Jennifer’s case,” he says, “I don’t think there are enough fans, or movies, or records, or anything like that to fill that part of you that feels that longing, that pain.” Ultimately, that’s the work you have to do on your own.”
Luckily for her, Affleck seems to give her the freedom to try.
And lucky for us, we won’t have to hear about The World’s Greatest Love Story ever again!
