Home Life Style JENNI MURRAY: Here’s the hard truth for anxious young people: life is hard, keep going!

JENNI MURRAY: Here’s the hard truth for anxious young people: life is hard, keep going!

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During my first semester at the University of Hull, I was very nervous about suddenly being away from home, alone, without friends and with a completely new way of learning, writes JENNI MURRAY.

During my first semester at the University of Hull, I was very nervous about suddenly being away from home, alone, without friends and with a completely new way of learning. The seminars were terrifying.

A small group of students sat around reading their work aloud and criticizing each other. The tutor would often be very rude to any unconventional ideas in your essay. It was enough to give you a nervous breakdown, but it didn’t.

By that time, I had already learned that sometimes life is hard and you just have to get through it. I remember my mother saying, ‘You’ll only get one day off from school if you’re on a stretcher.’

That’s why I was concerned to read an anonymous university professor who wrote in a newspaper that, when the new semester begins, he receives emails explaining why young people do not attend his lectures. It’s not unusual, he says, to find at least 30 percent of students absent.

Apparently, it’s not because they were partying, as it might have been in my time. Instead, they claim to have a variety of “mental health issues.”

During my first semester at the University of Hull, I was very nervous about suddenly being away from home, alone, without friends and with a completely new way of learning, writes JENNI MURRAY.

Some say they have depression, extreme anxiety, panic attacks, post-traumatic stress disorder, or exhaustion related to ADHD. Some claim to be in such a terrible state that they find it overwhelming to get on a bus to go to class. None, this speaker states, has a formal diagnosis. So they are making their own decisions about what they think they are suffering from.

The professor is responsible for following up on absent students, checking that they are okay, helping them catch up on missed seminars, and, in some cases, adapting courses so that students can participate.

Meanwhile, that same week, Oxford University’s chancellor said one in eight of his students sought counseling last year, with most citing anxiety.

What the hell is happening? I know that the current generation of young people has gone through unusually difficult times. The pandemic disrupted education and forced many people to stay home and learn from a screen. Fear of contracting the virus and being punished for breaking lockdown rules meant friendships were missed, parents became irritable, and the internet became the only way to feel part of life.

However, pandering to those who claim to have mental health issues without a formal diagnosis is completely ridiculous. I do not deny that mental health was neglected for a long time and needed to receive more attention.

I spent much of my youth with a grandmother who suffered from debilitating bipolar disorder, which for years was dismissed as “a little funny.” So, I know what true depression is and how it needs to be investigated, diagnosed and treated properly.

But it makes me angry that young people feel like it’s okay to say, “I’m depressed so I can’t go to lectures and I need you to waste tons of time pleasing me.” It diminishes the truly terrifying experience my grandmother had until she got the help she needed.

Of course, it’s not just college students who are in the mental health game. More than a quarter of teachers say pupils have withdrawn from GCSE exams this year citing test anxiety.

All this indulgence by young people has serious economic consequences. Those absent college students are costing taxpayers thousands of dollars in tuition loans that they are unlikely to pay back.

It’s all a terrible waste. Yes, starting something new can be daunting, but that’s no reason not to keep going. University made me learn to defend my ideas and not be afraid to speak. My perspective broadened. If I returned to my room it was to read a good book or write an essay. It wasn’t to indulge in social media nonsense. Thank God it didn’t exist in my time.

It didn’t exist in my children’s lives either. They enjoyed – as did I – loving and understanding parents who never acted as protective helicopters. There was risk, but no one worried too much about it.

Much healthier than life for many of today’s children who hide in their rooms watching Facebook or TikTok. There is so much idiotic “self-care” advice on the internet that it’s no wonder young people are isolating themselves. From what I’ve learned, the latest trend on TikTok is called “bed rot.” It basically means hiding under the duvet instead of going out and having fun.

If only this generation’s risk-averse helicopter parents had had the sense to understand how risky the Internet can be. Confiscating cell phones and going for a walk could have been a less harmful occupation.

I am afraid to think of the damage these fearful young people will do to themselves and to society. While we should always take true mental illnesses seriously, teachers must stop adapting their courses to accommodate those who declare themselves depressed on a whim.

Young people must be taught that life is hard. Often. You have to learn to deal with it. “Oh, keep going,” my mother would say. She was right. I did. It’s the only way.

Hurrah! Aidan’s bare chest is back.

Aidan Turner strips naked again in Rivals, in which the producer says there will be a chick for every pair of cars

Aidan Turner strips naked again in Rivals, in which the producer says there will be a ‘chick for every pair of t***’

I can’t wait for the release of Jilly Cooper’s Rivals on Disney+. Aidan Turner with his shirt on (again) is a long-awaited treat and it’s sure to be fun to get back to those days of cigarettes, booze and sex. But I am pleased to know that the modern concept of equal opportunities will now also be included. The producer says that there will be a ‘chicken for every pair of t***’. Progress, I guess.

I’ve changed my mind about Freddie.

Freddie Flintoff has completely won me over while leading his boys cricket team around India.

Freddie Flintoff has completely won me over while leading his boys cricket team around India.

Freddie Flintoff will host a reboot of the game show Bullseye. I didn’t like Freddie, in the photo. I hate cricket and I hate men who think that getting drunk, behaving badly and driving fast cars makes them admirable role models.

But he completely won me over while leading his boys’ cricket team around India. He has become what masculinity should be: warm, kind, gentle and fully understanding of the emotional needs of boys. He should be on TV all the time, showing boys how to be the best men.

I’d rather die than be a burden

If I became so disabled that I had to rely on my children, I would choose a medically assisted death.

If I became so disabled that I had to rely on my children, I would choose a medically assisted death.

As a long-time advocate of assisted dying, I am pleased that a parliamentary debate on the issue is finally likely.

However, there is so much nervousness about older people being persuaded to die that the proposals are very strict.

If I became so disabled that I had to rely on my children, I would choose a medically assisted death. It would be my choice to stop being a burden on my family and there is nothing wrong with that.

I turned 21 in Paris and, since my parents wanted me to have a very special gift, they bought me foie gras. I had never tasted something so disgusting. Horribly rich and viscous. I can’t imagine the new lab-grown foie gras will be any less disgusting, but at least it will give the poor birds a break.

I had slimy foie gras in Paris for my 21st birthday, I had never tasted something so disgusting.

I had slimy foie gras in Paris for my 21st birthday, I had never tasted something so disgusting.

I don’t go to the supermarket anymore. Waitrose delivers my shopping so I won’t risk being knocked out by a cauliflower, like a poor woman. Who would have thought?

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