A Japanese exchange student has opened up about the cultural differences of dating in America after a man she was seeing invited her to his home to meet his family – then told her he just wanted to be friends.
Yumeka Umemori, 21, who attends college in New York, documents her studies abroad at TikTokwhere she has over 160,000 followers.
She recently went viral after speaking out about a mind-boggling dating accident that would never have happened to her back home in Japan.
“Did you know we don’t really have a “talking stage” in Japan? But in America, right?’ she said. “So I was kind of ready to experience some cultural differences in terms of dating.”
Yumeka Umemori, 21, a Japanese exchange student attending college in New York, went viral after documenting the cultural differences of dating in America
She explained that after about five dates, a man she met on a dating app invited her to his house, and she was shocked to see his parents and grandmother were there.
After giving her mixed signals, he told her he was focusing on himself and didn’t want “anything super serious” — even though his dating profile said he was “looking for a relationship”
Umemori explained that she started dating a man she met through an online dating app, and they had “hanged out like five times” when he first invited her to his house.
She agreed to come over because “he was nice” and they were “having fun,” but she was stunned when she arrived to find his parents and grandmother there.
“I was shocked because this doesn’t happen very often in Japan,” she said. “Doing this in Japan is like marrying that person or having a very serious relationship with that person.”
Umemori said she had to remind herself she was in the US where this is probably normal behavior and “not a big deal.”
So I calmed myself down and introduced myself to his family. They were all nice,” she recalls. “His dad even asked me if I’m thinking about moving back to America so I can stay with[his son]longer.”
They never defined their relationship, but the situation led her to believe that he was more serious about her than she had originally thought.
“I didn’t really ask him what we are or anything, but we weren’t in a relationship,” she said. “I was pretty happy with it — until I found out he just wanted to be “friends” with me.
“I was like, ‘Excuse me?’ Like I didn’t get mad or anything. I was just curious. For example, what was he thinking about all the time?’
Umemori felt “so respected” that he had “lied” to her about his intentions. She blocked him, but then she decided to ‘use him for a while’
She went out with him two more times to use him for his car, and suddenly he wanted to start a relationship with her again.
Umemori told him she wasn’t interested, but she was baffled by the experience. ‘How are you?’ she asked
Umemori’s video has been viewed more than 542,000 times, with a number of commenters noting that she got the “real American dating experience”
Umemori explained that they were on the couch when he told her he was focusing on himself and didn’t want “anything super serious” because he was insecure about his past relationships.
She noted that he had put on the dating app where they had met that he was “looking for a relationship.” She felt “so respected” that he had “lied” to her about his intentions.
“I blocked him and I hated him, but like I had this second thought, ‘Why don’t I use him for a while?'” she said. “So I decided to use it as a transportation system because it had a car. I’m not that ab***h, but this time I was p****d.’
Umemori said she started texting him again, and they hung out two more times after her disastrous visit to his house.
“The last time before I left, he said, ‘You know, we’ve been hanging out for quite a while, and I was thinking about asking you if you want to be my girlfriend or something,’ she recalls. And I said, “No.”
“I’m like, ‘Okay, I’m going to be friends with guys first, and then I’m going to be more than friends.’ But how are you? Don’t know.’
Umemori’s video has been viewed more than 542,000 times since it was posted on January 29 and has received more than 1,000 comments.
Many people commented that she had an authentic American dating experience.
“That’s the real American dating experience lol,” one wrote, while another added, “You had the real American dating experience.”
“So when one person says they’re not looking for anything serious, they just don’t mean anything serious WITH YOU,” another clarified.