Psychologists say having the same ‘touch language’ is the key to a happy marriage – take the test to learn yours

If you’ve been on TikTok recently, you’ve probably heard about love languages.

A popular term among social media’s favorite couples counselors, it operates on the idea that each person has an ideal way of communicating their love.

These expressions fall broadly into five different categories, ranging from verbal affirmations to gifts.

But there may be more languages ​​for you and your partner to learn, says social psychologist Sara Nasserzadeh.

In her new book, entitled ‘Love by Design: 6 Ingredients to Build a Lifetime of love’, she sets the framework for a so-called ‘touch encyclopedia’.

This essentially means that different types of intimate contact between partners can act as different lines of communication.

For example, for a couple, a squeeze on the hand can be a sign of affection. But for another, it could be acknowledging hurt feelings.

For some, a soft kiss may be a meaningless greeting when you come home from work, but for others it may be a sign of sexual desire.

Similarly, a partner could associate certain behaviors, such as kissing the forehead or rubbing the other’s back, with unhappy childhood memories.

While this may seem intuitive, Nasserzadeh said it’s important to determine what your partner feels about these different kinds of touch so you can build a shared vocabulary.

Then you can start touching or talking in the same language.

This concept draws on the widely accepted view that physical communication plays a key role in health in most relationships. A recent international study revealed the importance of physical touch in nurturing love in a relationship.

Relationships with varied and frequent touch had stronger feelings of love across all the cultures they tested, the paper, published in the journal Scientific Reportssaid.

Nasserzadeh, who, according to her website, also works as a relationship consultant, said in her book that touches are ‘powerful connections and reminders of the unique erotic potential of your relationship.’

But simply knowing this concept does not immediately make you a touch translator.

To find out what works for you and your special someone, she advised that you and your partner take part in a little test.

In an excerpt from her book, which was published on the wellness website GoopNasserzadeh recommended taking time alone with your partner to go through an exercise.

Each partner should touch the other in different ways, such as on the arm or lips, or different body parts, and with different intensities in turn. After the touch, the recipient must explain how it felt to them.

During the exercise, ask yourself and your partner seven key questions (below) and make a mental note of the answers.

This information can guide both of you when it comes to touching each other in different ways; you know what type of touch will be useful in specific situations.