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JANET STREET-PORTER on Sasha Swire’s claims about David Cameron

According to chic diarist (and Tory MP’s wife) Sasha Swire, walking with a Prime Minister is fraught with hidden dangers. I had barely seen David Cameron as a plague in the Harvey Weinstein fungus, but – according to her recent memoir – Sasha saw an unexpected side of the Tory leader while on vacation in Cornwall.

Married to Hugo Swire, one of Cameron’s best friends, Sasha – unbeknownst to those who had the privilege of being a member of the Prime Minister’s ‘inner circle’ – kept a cheeky diary of years of drunken dinners, crazy jokes, small bickering and warring wives.

It’s hardly a detailed breakdown of the pros and cons of Brexit, more of a frothy soufflé revealing which Waitrose canapes were consumed, how terrible the official government catering is and which political woman was forced to act and the fish pie short term to make.

Nonetheless, it’s always entertaining to read that toffs fall out, even when it turns out they have the same low taste in jokes as the rest of us.

Sasha Swire, pictured with Tory MP husband Hugo, has made a series of allegations about former Prime Minister David Cameron

Sasha Swire, pictured with Tory MP husband Hugo, has made a series of allegations about former Prime Minister David Cameron

It seems Sasha didn’t bother telling her husband – he certainly would have tried to quit her project as it must mean that former ‘close’ friends like Michael Gove and his wife Sarah Vine, George Osborne and his ex -wife Frances now consider the Swires as outcasts.

In her book, Sasha paints a picture of Cameron as a lazy schoolboy, obsessed with getting drunk, joking about sex and (when they were on a six-mile bum in Cornwall with his bodyguard, he didn’t tell her ahead of him) because her perfume was so powerful that there was every possibility that he would ‘grab her and push her into the bushes and give her one’.)

A shockingly sexist outburst from an ancient Etonian out of tune with modern etiquette, or an innocent joke?

The way Sasha puts it is ‘probably immorality … but I’m so starved of male interest at my age that it made me laugh.’

That revelation tells us a lot more about Sasha than it does about Dave. Does she have a sense of humor, or has she acquired a thick layer of political correctness, in line with the current craze for ‘canceling’ someone deemed unacceptable?

In the real world, most men (and women) I know still drink too much, make unacceptable jokes, and make bread look a little too heavy on a summer break – it’s the British way of life.

During a summer break in Cornwall, Dave behaves the same way as any middle-aged man with a little dosh.

Basically, he uses his vacation to try to reclaim his childhood, trying to hold on to the hopeless dream that, although well over 40, he is still virile and that all women within 100 meters are lucky to have him. don’t jump at them.

David and Samantha Cameron, pictured together, 'adore each other,' according to JANET STREET-PORTER

David and Samantha Cameron, pictured together, 'adore each other,' according to JANET STREET-PORTER

David and Samantha Cameron, pictured together, ‘adore each other,’ according to JANET STREET-PORTER

Dave may be getting chubby, but he’s passionate about body surfing and is quite knowledgeable. He likes sports, between drinking, eating and making silly jokes. The more I read Sasha’s so-called revelations about David Cameron, the more “normal” he sounds and the more our social chronicler Ms. Swire comes across as insignificant and unnecessarily judgmental.

She moans that her husband and Dave talk a lot about sex, but adds’ if a woman came up on them, their eyes would probably pop out. Blood rushed to their faces … and they ran to the nearest hideout – probably under their wife’s skirt. Possibly, but the same is true of 90% of British men, not just those of the landed gentry.

I have met David Cameron several times and I can confirm that he is charming, chatty and very good company. He and Samantha love each other, but I did get a glimpse of how annoying she would find it to be married to a guy who is a little naive about women and their bodies.

A few years ago, at a party held by Russian media baron Evgeny Lebedev, glamor model and TV host Katie Price (and former Loose Women) showed up wearing tight black leather pants topped with a bejeweled bra which barely loosened her twin brother’s assets, over which she had tucked an all-sheer chiffon shirt, down to the waist. Her outfit featured incredibly high heels, making her easily the tallest (and most eye-catching) person in the room.

I was talking to Cameron when Katie showed up – her top half arrived well in advance – and was forced to introduce them. Not that Dave minded. His eyes tried (and failed) to stop looking at Katie’s breasts. To be fair, she had every right to speak to the prime minister. She has campaigned for years about the lack of special schools in her area, forcing her son Harvey to travel miles every day.

But the conversation went on and on … and I moved over to Samantha and asked, “Should I do something?” She nodded. Dave was now bright red and a little sweaty – while I led Katie off to meet someone else.

In that relationship, Samantha is the sophisticated, but isn’t that true of most middle-class marriages? They may be used to throwing their weight on the job, enjoying all kinds of machinations and seizures of power to advance their careers, but when they come across a string of 40DDs, they can’t make a cohesive sentence.

Despite all his alleged mistakes, I’d rather spend a month on vacation with David Cameron (though not his friends the Goves or the Swires) than a day in a tent with adulterous and panto artist Boris Johnson.

I'd rather spend a month on vacation with David Cameron (though not his friends the Goves of the Swires) than a day in a tent with adulterous and panto artist Boris Johnson, writes JANET STREET-PORTER

I'd rather spend a month on vacation with David Cameron (though not his friends the Goves of the Swires) than a day in a tent with adulterous and panto artist Boris Johnson, writes JANET STREET-PORTER

I’d rather spend a month on vacation with David Cameron (though not his friends the Goves of the Swires) than a day in a tent with adulterous and panto artist Boris Johnson, writes JANET STREET-PORTER

David Cameron was not a particularly brilliant prime minister. He ruined Brexit and hesitated at fatal moments. Together with George Osborne, he implemented drastic cuts in local government, paralyzing the social services on which the poorest in society depend. On a more trivial note, he posed for some crazy photo shoots to promote his ‘big society’. But at the end of the day, he showed his love for his disabled son Ivan in a way that brought tears to our eyes.

Boris is married to making the news by becoming the topic of the day, posing in crazy outfits and making ridiculous announcements with grand promises that he (and we all know) will never be fulfilled.

David Cameron was humble, he had flaws, but he was a real person.

Now we have an egomaniac at the helm, a guy who is running out of steam and doesn’t do much else for him except a hot fiancé, a cute dog and a baby who may or may not be cute, but so far we only ever have seen the back of his head.

So come back Dave, everything is forgiven. Be careful who you count as friends.

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