JANET STREET-PORTER: As unpleasant rumours swirl about his marriage, Macron responds in the only way he knows how – by staging a macho photoshoot. But just like those of the Russian leader, these cringey shoots are d**k on the table diplomacy at its worst

President Macron has recently been the subject of unpleasant rumors.

Rumors cruelly (and wrongly) suggested that his wife Brigitte was born a man and that their marriage was a bit “weird.”

Any normal person would have ignored such a joke, but Macron is no ordinary man.

He wants the world to know that he is nothing less than a God who walks on French soil.

A superb athlete and a genius in every way.

The youngest French president ever, someone French citizens are lucky to have leading their country, especially as they prepare to host the Summer Olympics.

It’s a shame that many of his subjects don’t seem to agree.

Macron has an unusual marriage to a woman old enough to be his grandmother – 24 years his senior – who is widely believed to have seduced him while he was still a student and she was his teacher.

After fifteen years of marriage, their relationship still arouses many comments. This is unusual in every way.

The president would like us to forget about trivial matters like his domestic arrangements and focus instead on his superhuman attributes.

But how can we get this message across without addressing ordinary people? In a bold move, Macron reinvented himself as Robert de Niro in Raging Bull, the macho man incarnate, hoping this will paralyze the snipers and silence them.

Does he really expect the public to fall for this tripe? And will other world leaders be led to believe that Macron is the man of the moment, the ideal person to challenge Putin and kick those pesky Russians?

Photos of action figures are the stock of politicians around the world seeking public approval.

Modern leaders, from Putin to Boris to Zelensky to Trump – not to mention the Pope – have armies of public relations agents who regularly broadcast carefully staged images to impress upon ordinary people that they are not only capable, but equipped with special skills.

That means kissing lots of babies, posing in fighter jet cockpits, sitting in tiny chairs, studying spelling with toddlers, and driving giant trucks and tanks with a hard hat.

All of the above is a little too predictable for Mr. President, whose stature may be limited to 5 feet 7 inches, but who obviously considers himself the leading man in the movie of his life.

Being petite (by catwalk standards) has never hampered Kate Moss, who has built a successful career by showcasing her other assets. Kate always understood exactly how to perform in front of a camera, a talent she used to make millions.

Unfortunately, most politicians seem to lack these skills. Rishi Sunak (5ft 6in) wears clothes that show off his stature, although those cropped trousers and windbreaker jackets remind me of a schoolboy and not a heavyweight.

Macron is just as vain.

Every time it is suggested that he is a bit of a wimp, that his wife is pulling the strings or that he is just a vain and pretentious intellectual, disconnected from the problems of ordinary people, the French president turns to his photographer official to show his power, courage and determination.

The results are still a source of hilarity (the latest official photos show Macron with gritted teeth, bulging biceps and furrowed forehead, punching a punching bag) and the message is simple: watch out Putin, you are dealing with a type of heavy bull, unstoppable force.

Channeling Robert de Niro in Raging Bull or Sly Stallone’s Rocky Balboa at his peak, Macron seems determined to beat all opposition to pulp.

If only life were that simple, that we could frighten our enemies with a deadly punch and emerge victorious, all with a perfectly aimed shot.

Macron is relatively new to this game. His nemesis, the undisputed master of macho propaganda, President Putin (also 1.70 meters), has just been re-elected in Russia under questionable circumstances. Following the (inevitable) result, Macron had to spend a sleepless night at the Elysée.

How to get back into the headlines, back into fashion on social media, distract attention from the most powerful man in the West, strutting around a gilded room of the Kremlin surrounded by acolytes?

Since the invasion of Ukraine, Macron has campaigned for Europe and the United Kingdom to do more to help President Zelensky, positioning himself as the courageous and fearless leader in the face of the Russian threat.

He’s spent more time on a plane trying to broker peace between Russia and Ukraine than our own globetrotter Dave Cameron, another man who likes to take photos to prove he’s got it. his money.

Putin is a short man with a huge ego, who has reportedly had cosmetic surgery to spruce up his eyelids and even used body liners.

He has long posed for unapologetically macho portraits in order to present himself as an iron leader. In 2009 he was photographed riding a horse bareback in Siberia and since then he has been filmed playing ice hockey, shooting and fishing.

All carefully designed to polish his credentials as a tough, versatile man who will defend Russia against the rest of the world.

President Zelensky is no different. He always wears the same uniform – fatigues and battle gear – cleverly diverting attention from the fact that he is relatively short and that before his election he was best known as a comedian.

And Rishi Sunak is just as vain as Macron – with his own personal photographer providing us with daily images of a busy, hard-working leader meeting with students, factory workers and salespeople every day. Still in those crisp but slightly too shrunken pants, sporting a designer hoodie on the weekend. It looks like it’s brand new, straight from the dry cleaners. Unaffected by sweat, dust or normal life.

I wonder how long it takes to edit these idiotic images – time that could be better spent making important policy decisions rather than boarding another helicopter to a factory or construction site up North?

We might criticize the Princess of Wales for daring to put away a family photo for Mother’s Day, but you can be sure that any image of President Macron or Rishi Sunak has been manipulated to highlight their strengths and erase all the imperfections.

Appointing an official photographer is nothing new. Since President Kennedy, leaders have resorted to “casual” clichés to try to show us that they are just like us.

It has become a laughable obsession. By channeling Rocky, Macron upped the ante. But he seems to have forgotten that every fight must have a winner and a loser.

This is the worst diplomacy on the table.