JANE GREEN: The shameful truth about Barbra Streisand’s acid attack on Melissa McCarthy’s weight and why her cruelty proves that WOMEN are always the biggest bullies

Melissa McCarthy stepped up to a gala in Los Angeles this weekend in a glamorous mint green dress and looked once again slim and superb.

Clearly proud of this lighter look, Melissa posted photos of herself and choreographer Matthew Bourne on her Instagram. But one star wasn’t ready to let her have her moment:

‘Give (Bourne) my regards. Did you take Ozempic?’ Barbra Streisand’s official account commented under the photo.

Fans rallied behind McCarthy, stunned by the Oscar winner’s cruelty, her lack of discretion, and, frankly, the apparent evil of the question.

Unsurprisingly, the comment was later deleted, and Streisand then took to Instagram again to insist that McCarthy was a “friend” and that she was just trying to “pay him a compliment.”

‘I forgot the world is reading!’ she added.

Certainly, it’s at least possible that Streisand, 82, tried to send McCarthy a private message and simply made a mistake. How many older people do we all know who are total Luddites when it comes to technology?

It reminds me of the many times my 80-year-old mother forgot to hang up on our phone calls and turned to my father when the line was still active. “Jane is completely crazy,” she said the other week.

But if Streisand’s explanation is to be believed, it is clear that she has not fully understood that the world has changed. That comment about weight is simply no longer acceptable, privately or privately. Let’s instead say “you look beautiful” and leave it at that.

Going further not only reveals a lack of compassion, but also a lack of good manners.

Of course, in an increasingly crowded market, celebrities and those with public profiles must share more and more of themselves online. They have to find novel and often shocking ways to keep their fans interested, encouraging fans to watch their latest movies, begging them to buy their books or even their fancy new song.

And then it’s easy for the rest of us to think that we know these people, that maybe we have the right to ask invasive questions, pass judgment, or seek answers in the comments section that we would never dare demand in real life.

In many ways, we all have a hard time feeling sorry for the rich and wealthy. They know the game, the deal they made with the devil of Hollywood.

But we all have the right to a modicum of privacy, and weight in particular is a fragile issue for women, especially those of a certain generation.

Growing up in the 1970s, as McCarthy, 53, did, I was raised to believe that anything less than thin was unacceptable.

So-called “body positivity” did not exist. Everywhere you looked, front pages, magazine covers, and television ads declared that diets were the only path to happiness, and we believed it.

I remember my mother putting me on a three-day “grape diet” in an attempt to reduce what she called my “substantial thighs” and “rounded stomach.” I was eight years old.

Weight shaming has paralyzed many of us. No matter how confident we may seem as adults, the insecurities learned when we were children are always with us.

Conversations about weight, about hating our bodies, hating the lack of self-control that leads to compulsive eating, punishing self-restriction, are kept private or not at all.

That’s why so many suddenly slim celebrities won’t admit they’re on Ozempic.

I applaud people like Sharon Osbourne – who has been radically honest about her recent dramatic weight loss – but I completely understand why so many other famous women have chosen to remain silent about their use of fat-busting medications.

However, Streisand’s apparent Instagram snub goes beyond a mere search for the truth about McCarthy’s alleged use of Ozempic.

His unbrotherly comments made me think of a recent interpersonal friction I had.

A few days ago, I made a joke on my own Instagram account about having a “midlife crisis.”

I am currently painfully separated from my husband and we are beginning divorce proceedings. There is still a deep love and friendship, but we have found ourselves on very different paths.

Not many people know: we have been dealing with our separation privately. But when I made the flippant joke, I heard from an old friend whom I had known and thought I loved for almost 25 years.

“I’m so sorry you’re ruining your marriage because of a midlife crisis,” she wrote cheerfully.

I was amazed at his rudeness, his lack of compassion, the fact that someone I considered a friend would consider it acceptable to send such a thoughtless and heartless message.

I responded by telling him that I had no idea what was going on behind closed doors, no idea of ​​the reasons for our separation, and that his sheer rudeness was a shocking betrayal.

It went back and forth for a while, but she didn’t regret it at all, she didn’t understand how much she had upset me.

The ‘fourth wall’ of social media has emboldened too many bullies, hiding safely behind their keyboards and iPhones, believing it’s acceptable to judge and spit venom, as if digital separation makes it better.

But there is also a women problem here. Streisand, my now ex-friend… women can really be very cruel to other women.

Jealousy is certainly a green-eyed monster, and it has ruined too many female friendships. The “perfect” bodies, the enviable vacations, the small portions of expensive salad flaunted in social media posts by women seemingly at war with each other make it so much worse.

It is not easy to be a lady in today’s world, when plastic surgery and perfection are considered constant mirrors.

But the truth is that we all share the same insecurities, the same worries about not being good enough, pretty enough, or good enough. It’s time for us to stop judging each other and instead recognize that when women support each other, we all rise together.