Finally, the world can stop speculating, coming up with several fantastic conspiracy theories or tasteless ‘jokes’ about what happened to Kate Middleton.
I’m sure there are plenty of people who were ashamed of themselves when the news broke on Friday of her cancer diagnosis. But the one person I think of in all of this, the one person my heart goes out to in every way, is Prince William.
This poor man.
From the separation of his parents when he was only ten years old, to their subsequent divorce, quickly followed by the untimely death of his adoring, adoring mother, we have continued to witness life throwing hardships at him, again and again again.
In recent years, he has dealt with a growing rift with his only sibling Harry and sister-in-law Meghan, his father’s cancer, and now this – an unexpected and tragic burden on top of everything else.
Without a doubt, the distance from Harry is particularly keenly felt.
The one person I think of in all of this, the one person my heart goes out to in every way, is William. From the separation of his parents when he was only ten years old, to their subsequent divorce, quickly followed by the untimely death of his mother, we have continued to witness life throw hardships at him, time and time again. (Pictured: Harry and William with Diana).
In recent years, he has dealt with a growing rift with his only sibling Harry and sister-in-law Meghan, most recently his father’s cancer, and now this – an unexpected and tragic burden on top of everything else.
After all, he’s the only person who might fully understand what this is like. The one person who also endured both divorce and the death of a parent, in such devastating public settings, is irreconcilably alienated.
Surely too many stones have been thrown, too much hurt, too much hurt for Harry to offer any comfort or strength to William.
William, who now bears the weight of the crown as his 75-year-old father undergoes his own treatment for cancer; William, who has to support his young family like never before.
As someone who has danced with cancer myself, I know how overwhelming it is for your partner. My husband was terrified when I received my diagnosis of malignant melanoma in 2014, far more terrified, he later told me, than I appeared to be.
Our kids were 14, 13, and the twins were 11. While everyone gathered around me, few thought to check in with my husband.
He stepped in to look after the kids, to drive them back and forth, to make sure their lives continued as normal, all the while worrying about what might happen to me.
When friends called him, they asked for me, and he, like William, shouldered much of the burden alone, putting on a brave face, knowing he had to be strong for us all.
We now know that the prince pulled out of his godfather King Constantine’s memorial service at the 11th hour last month because he had just heard about Kate’s cancer. Two days later he was back at work and showed tremendous bravery and commitment to duty.
We are going to hear endless speculation about Kate in the coming days, but few are thinking about the partners and all they have to endure when their loved one is stricken with serious illness.
William’s pain right now is even more profound considering his three young children: George, 10, Charlotte, 8, and Louis, just 5.
They are not much younger than William was when his mother passed away, and that trauma and grief, the specific fear of losing a mother, is undoubtedly something he will bend heaven and earth to shield them from.
We do not have a prognosis for Kate. She tells us that she’s undergoing preventative chemotherapy, that she’s feeling ‘good’ and ‘getting stronger every day’. We are all thinking of her and praying.
But illness is a great equalizer.
Without a doubt, the distance from Harry is particularly keenly felt. After all, he’s the only person who might fully understand what this is like. The one person who also endured both divorce and the death of a parent, in such devastating public settings, is irreconcilably alienated.
Surely too many stones have been thrown, too much hurt, too much hurt for Harry to offer any comfort or strength to William.
William’s pain right now is even more profound considering his three young children: George, 10, Charlotte, 8, and Louis, just 5. They are not much younger than William was when his mother passed away, and the trauma and the grief, the specific fear of losing a mother, is undoubtedly something he will bend heaven and earth to protect them from.
No matter how much help the Welsh may have, no matter how many nannies or nurses on duty, William must now be a steady force for his children and wife.
And while Kate may need space to break down, to lie awake at night with fear dancing around her head, William will feel he must be the rock that all partners must when their loved ones get so serious hit
This is William’s struggle as much as it is Kate’s, but he, as stoic and gracious in public as his mother always was, will now be under pressure to keep that mask up at home too.
No matter how scared he is, he must not show it.
He has to keep smiling for the kids and assuring them that everything will be fine for mom.
Children are remarkably observant—if he lets his fear surface, they will pick it up, so he must keep it all buried deep while surrounding them with the safety, security, and love they need right now.
He is not just a husband, a father and a prince; his primary role right now is caregiver.
Whatever your life was about – family, work, charity, royal garden parties – everything stops when hospitals and doctors take over your everyday life.
Given all that William has been through in life, we can only hope that he has trusted friends and loved ones who look out for him as well.
They need to tell him that as stoic as he may be to Kate and their children, he needs to know that he’s allowed to break, to let the scared fifteen-year-old boy who just lost his mother come out.