It’s not often that I feel left out when it comes to sexy antics. I’ve been frisky in the great outdoors, considered a threesome, experimented with different toys, and kept up with the latest sex trends.
But there is one thing that many of you have been doing behind a very specific door that I was not aware of.
This revelation came to light on Monday night when I hosted my usual “tell me a challenging secret” game on my Instagram.
There is always at least one confession that makes my jaw drop.
And this week it was someone who wrote, “I masturbate daily at work in the bathroom. It’s my version of a smoke break.”
Jana Hocking: It’s not often I feel left out when it comes to sexy antics, but there’s one thing many of you have been doing behind a very specific door that I wasn’t aware of
Well, to be fair, that’s one of the tamer ones. But it’s what happened next that really shocked me.
I decided to conduct a scientific poll of my 27,000 followers to ask everyone if they’d ever masturbated at work.
I thought the results would come back with a very low number of people doing that – but no, no, no.
Turns out a whopping 51 percent of my sassy followers have done it. And what was more surprising, many of them were women.
While we’ve been tuttutting the naughty workers on their ‘smoking breaks’, we’ve completely missed the horny couple ‘sorting themselves out’ in the work toilets.
I let my mind wander to the toilets at work. Would I? The sterile white walls, the horrible squeaky doors and the slight rustling of other people’s excrement really didn’t scream sexy.
For me it’s a firm no.
This girl needs a very comfortable bed, low light, nice smelling sheets and absolute silence. Apart from my ‘movie’ of choice.
Jana was shocked when the results of an Instagram poll showed that more than 51 percent of people had masturbated at work
I decided to reach out to one of my girlfriends who ticked the yes box to my cheeky question to find out how? Why? Where? And luckily she actually came to the party.
She revealed that she regularly brings her waterproof vibrator to her gym. She explained that the bathrooms are beautiful, with heavenly lighting, a nice-smelling candle that is always lit, and the showers are next level chic. She said, “I don’t spend that much money on a boujee gym to not get my money’s worth.”
She went on to explain that she’s usually high on endorphins after a really good workout, and a quick “shower session” was the perfect way to burn off those last few calories.
She goes to the gym most weekday mornings, and she said the thought of a delayed orgasm not only helped her get out of bed and hit the gym, but also helped her get through her workout faster. This girl has a rocking body and now I know her secret.
But what about people who actually do it at work? My research wasn’t complete until I dug deeper. I have a wonderfully candid friendship with one of my male friends, so I asked him directly, “Why on earth do people blow their load into work toilets?” He laughed and revealed that for many dudes, including himself, it was a great way to blow off steam.
He said he once did it after a work colleague wore a short skirt to work. “She looked horny and I was distracted all day. So instead of thirsting for her, I took myself to the bathroom and sorted it out. I felt a million times better and was able to continue my work productively.’
Note to self: burn all short skirts. (Just kidding).
Jana revealed that several of her male friends thought ‘half the fun’ of masturbating at work was ‘trying to take it easy’
I asked him if he was afraid of getting caught and he laughed again and said, “No, half the fun is trying to take it easy.”
Another friend agreed and said he gets the idea of getting caught. Wow.
Now we all know that masturbation works wonders in relieving stress, but should we include it in our work routine?
Megan Fleming, Ph.D., a clinical psychologist and lecturer in psychology at Cornell University’s Weill Cornell Medical College who specializes in sex and relationships, recently told InStyle Magazine, “Masturbation can act like a reset button. It tells your brain that everything is fine, that you can breathe and relax. And from a more relaxed state, energy can be expansive again and you can access the best parts of yourself to make decisions and be more creative.”
However, I’m pretty sure all our bosses are yelling “no” to do it in the office – and to that I say “fair call.”
But maybe we can make it part of our daily self-care.
An orgasm a day may very well keep the doctor away.