‘I cried almost every day for a year’: James Jordan says he found himself in a ‘very dark place’ after the death of his father Allan as he talks about his grief
James Jordan said he “cryed almost every day for a year” after his father’s death last March.
The former Strictly Come Dancing professional, 43, tragically lost his father Allan in March at the age of 67 after being diagnosed with a brain tumor.
On Friday’s Loose Women & Men’s special, James reflected on his father’s struggles and death, saying the loss of his father left him in a “very dark place.”
‘I cried almost every day for a year’: James Jordan said he cried ‘practically every day for a year’ after his father’s death last March, when he appeared on Loose Women on Friday
‘I don’t think men suffer from grief any differently than women,’ the ballroom dancer began.
‘I wasn’t well at all. It put me in a very dark place and I began to mourn the day I heard that he was going to die.
“I mourned for a year and then we lost him and then you start to grieve again. It’s the worst thing I’ve ever experienced.’
James went on to say that he can only talk about his emotions now because he knows his father wouldn’t want his mental health to hit rock bottom.
Close bond: The dancer’s father, Allan (right) died aged 67 after being diagnosed with a brain tumor
Candid: ‘I was not good at all. It put me in a very dark place and I started to mourn the day I heard he was going to die,” he said.
“I cried almost every day for a year. I’m not ashamed to say that. My father was one of my best friends and I will miss him every day.
He added: “I’m still thinking about it now and getting angry. It was cruel that he was taken as he was. Just retired and just starting to enjoy life.’
The former Celebrity Big Brother contestant was unable to visit his father in hospital for months due to the coronavirus pandemic, while being ‘so sick’.
“Until you go through it yourself, you don’t know what people are going through and it’s absolutely horrible,” James said.
Brave: James went on to say he can only talk about his emotions now because he knows his dad wouldn’t want him to be in the dark place he was six months ago
Rest in peace: James’ father died in March 2021 at the age of 67 after being diagnosed with a brain tumor
‘It was probably the darkest time of my life’: James said his wife and dance partner Ola got him out of the emotional and dark time (Picture: Ola on vacation with James’ parents)
The choreographer previously revealed that the loss of Allan gave him anxiety attacks.
He told The sun: ‘My father was my best friend and I had never realized how powerful grief is. I didn’t realize what it would do to me, and what it would do to my body.’
Just weeks earlier, James had welcomed his first child Ella with fellow Strictly star partner Ola, 38.
He explained: ‘I wanted to have the joy and elation of having a baby, but with my father it meant it was probably the darkest and most horrific time of my life.
Fun: Just weeks before his father’s death, the Strictly Come Dancing professional welcomed his first child Ella with his partner Ola, 38
Father’s Day is a double whammy for me. It’s great for me with my daughter, but at the same time, the memory of my father is sad.”
The professional dancer continued to explain how, after his father passed, his body underwent extreme physical stress.
James explained how his grief made him feel extremely weak, he woke up in a panic because he thought someone had broken into his house, and he experienced severe anxiety.
James called his daughter a godsend and said that his family, especially his wife and dance partner Ola, got him out of the emotional and dark time.
Heartbreaking: The professional dancer continued to explain how, after his father passed, his body underwent extreme physical stress (pictured on vacation with his father and Ola)