Is Meghan’s perfect kitchen a last-chance saloon? Some are charmed by her life of domestic bliss, but Hollywood insiders must be thinking the same thing, writes AMANDA GOFF

Nothing, and I mean nothing, could dissuade me from seeing handsome, tanned men playing polo in tight white pants.

But less than 10 minutes into Polo, the new Netflix docuseries produced by Prince Harry and Meghan Markle’s company Archewell Productions, I began to disengage.

I expected tears, tantrums, drama, sex: a modern Jilly Cooper novel come true. Turns out my imagination had gotten a little carried away, but I can’t be blamed. Netflix hadn’t done everything it could to promote the show.

Now I know why.

I won’t spoil the plot for you, there isn’t any, but you don’t even see Meghan and Prince Harry until the fifth and final episode, and that’s less than 15 minutes long.

The rest is a tedious tour of the niche world of polo, told through a group of players so unaware of their own privilege that the whole thing seems like a parody.

Netflix doesn’t normally release its streaming figures, but less-than-stellar reviews coupled with reports that Polo failed to make the British, US or global top 10 suggest it wasn’t exactly a hit.

In the wake of the Sussexes’ similarly underperforming (but critically better-received) 2023 release of Heart of Invictus, Netflix’s top brass may well be wondering if its rumored $100 million partnership with Archewell was money well spent.

In fact, the only blockbuster Harry and Meghan put out for Netflix was, ahem, Harry & Meghan, a fawning documentary about their exit from the Royal Family that was tastefully released three months after the death of Queen Elizabeth II. .

Still, it’s not all doom and gloom for Montecito’s most famous family…they can always turn to the Duchess of Sussex’s new lifestyle show.

With Love, Meghan was announced just as I was writing this column and, at first glance, appears to be a complementary piece to the ‘American Riviera Orchard’ jam-making business she’s had bubbling on the stove since March last year.

Now, I won’t judge until it’s published, but fawning celebrity interviews combined with cooking and crafting tips doesn’t seem like a recipe for success on a streaming platform whose biggest hits are Love is Blind, Dahmer, and Squid Game.

There were the usual famous friends (Mindy Kaling returns after Meghan previously interviewed her for her Spotify podcast) and Meghan’s promises to reveal her household ‘tips and tricks’. Still, it all seemed more style than substance.

I mean, what is really offered that isn’t offered on any daytime television cooking show? Aside from the wild hope that he might throw some veiled dig at royalty.

Look, I don’t want to be sarcastic, but things aren’t looking great for the Sussexes.

Los Angeles-based royal expert Kinsey Schofield actually put it best when she said in a recent interview with the London Standard: “A year ago, we were debating whether or not Meghan would run for office and now we’re debating when she might sell out.” . first jar of jam. It’s such a fall from grace that it’s hard to even process it.

When they fled the royal fold in 2020 with lofty promises to become financially independent and make the world a better place, you would have been a fool to doubt them. They had millions of followers, especially in the United States, where they planned to make their new home, plus all the free publicity in the world for Archewell, their corporate charity with interests in film, television and podcasts.

And yet, here we are, having closed the year 2024 with a whimper and just looking forward to Meghan’s arts and crafts celebrity talk show. It all seems like a “last roll of the dice”, doesn’t it?

And if that’s not bad enough, last week I was alarmed to discover that the Sussexes’ most die-hard fans (the so-called ‘Sussex squad’) were sharing Al’s creepy pictures of the couple’s children, Lilibet and Archie. I didn’t understand it at first, then it occurred to me that they’d probably turned to AI because they weren’t happy with the family’s increasingly rare personal updates. By scorning the Royal Rota that for decades had provided the press with a steady stream of family photographs, the Sussexes, private when it suits them, have inadvertently fostered the most disturbing kind of fandom.

So, in short, by giving the public what it doesn’t want (boring documentaries about Polo) and refusing to share enough of what it does want (pretty family photos, like the ones Kate takes), Californians made a royal mess. 2024.

And I hate to break it to you, but I don’t think 2025 is going to be much better.

It’s no secret that Hollywood is fickle and the applause only lasts as long as the audience is entertained. And for Meghan and Harry, the crowd stopped applauding a long time ago. The Sussexes were once welcomed as exciting new stars, new talents, but their story is now becoming stale. And that’s before we talk about his lack of talent.

Netflix’s $100 million deal was once its crown jewel, signaling Hollywood’s commitment to its story of how they fled British royalty for the warm embrace of America. But now, with poorly received projects like Polo, Heart of Invictus and Live to Lead (Remember that?), the cracks in his star power are showing.

In Hollywood, you’re only as big as your last hit, and they haven’t had one in a while. While watching the trailer for With Love, Meghan, I couldn’t help but imagine that she must have been thinking: If this doesn’t work, we’re screwed.

Could it be that the American public has realized that, other than criticizing their family, they don’t have much left to say? Maybe they thought keeping their titles would be enough to remain relevant, but that’s the thing about Americans: they rejected British royalty once before and they’ll gladly do it again..

The irony, of course, is that the Sussexes turned their backs on the monarchy, an institution based on tradition, to become celebrities in Hollywood, where the only thing that matters is the new and shiny.

If you can’t keep up in Hollywood, you’re out. The Royal Family, on the other hand, takes care of their own, as long as they respect the rules.

But no, Harry and Meghan insisted that they had to leave the royal fold (while keeping their titles, naturally) in order to launch their own brand, one that bridges the gap between Buckingham Palace and La La Land. but what is that brand today, more than four years after Megxit? Honestly, I don’t I think even they know it.

Unlike Meghan, Harry doesn’t have a profession to fall back on. His entire upbringing revolved around duty and service, and his post-royal career depends on his personal brand. As Hollywood begins to tire of him, his options dwindle, and without new angles to sell, his ability to generate revenue or keep audiences interested is in jeopardy.

And since President-elect Donald Trump makes no secret of the fact that “not a fan” of Meghan and found the Sussexes “very disrespectful to the Queen,” their time as American residents could well be running out.

Let’s not forget that Harry admitted in his memoirs that Spare had used drugs in the past, including cocaine, marijuana and magic mushrooms, and Trump warned that “appropriate action” would be taken if he was found to have lied on his visa forms.

When Harry and Megs first set foot in Montecito, I predicted that the American fairy tale wouldn’t last. Now, with Hollywood’s spell lifting and a potentially hostile White House, I predict 2025 could be even bleaker than the year they just had.

If the leader of the free world has his way, they could even see them return to the UK with their tails between their legs.

What a sight that would be.