A therapist has revealed the five things to keep in mind when you’re arguing with your partner — including that you’re a team and that life isn’t black and white.
Jeff Guntherfrom Portland, Oregon, has become a viral sensation on TikTok for often sharing his expertise in the love and romance departments.
He recently shared a video with his 2.6 million followers in which he describes the most important things to keep in mind so that an argument does not cause a permanent rift between you and your loved one.
According to the love specialist, you and your lover should work on a clear line of communication instead of triggering each other during a fight so that you can have a long-lasting romance.
Jeff Guenther, from Portland, Oregon, has revealed the five things to watch out for when you’re arguing with your partner
The therapist has become a viral sensation on TikTok as he often shares his expertise in the love and romance departments
Most recently, he shared a video with his 2.6 million followers describing the most important things to keep in mind in a fight – including being a team
Keep your relationship strong! The five things to keep in mind when arguing with your partner
- You are a team
- Arguments arise from a desire to create peace
- Life isn’t black and white
- Flexibility is crucial to pursuing a romance
- Recognize your triggers
He captioned the clip, which has been viewed more than 97,000 times, “Five important things to remember the next time you get into a fight with your partner.”
The first thing to remember, according to the therapist, is that you are a “team.”
He said, ‘Remember you guys are a team, it’s not just about me against you.
“If you’re gearing up to win the argument, you’ve already missed the point.”
Next, Jeff recommended that you and your partner remember where arguments start.
He noted that disagreements do not stem from a need or need to foment conflict, but rather a desire to create peace.
“Arguments come from a desire for peace, not a desire to make your partner feel awful,” he said.
The therapist went on to explain that you and your beau should strive for harmony.
“You both strive for harmony, so in the midst of conflict, try to communicate, understand and grow together rather than focusing on the disagreement itself,” he explained.
For his third tip, the love specialist said to keep in mind that life isn’t “black and white.”
Next, Jeff recommended that you and your partner remember where fights come from
For his third tip, he noted that you need to remember that life isn’t black and white, and that you both need to remember that things aren’t black and white.
“It’s full of shades of gray, it’s nuanced and layered. There is no one right way to say things.
“Both of your emotional experiences are valid and should be honored in equal measure,” he explained.
The fourth thing to never forget, according to the love expert, is that flexibility is key to making things work.
He said that if you and your boyfriend don’t compromise, the relationship will never last.
“Flexibility is crucial for any relationship to work. You love your sweetie, you want them to feel good.
“So instead of fighting, ask yourself what you’re willing to adjust to keep your partner happy and safe,” said therapy Jeff.
The fourth thing to never forget, according to the love expert, is that flexibility is key to making things work
The last thing the therapist told you to remember is how to recognize your triggers
The last thing the therapist told you to remember is how to recognize your triggers.
Jeff said knowing whether you’re angry or not will help you respond to your partner.
Knowing your weaknesses allows you to approach the fight with more love than if you couldn’t recognize them.
“You’re either triggered or you’re not. When you are triggered, you are defensive and afraid, and when you are not, you are warm and loving.
“So what should you both do to avoid feeling triggered,” he added.