A woman divided public opinion this week after revealing she would only marry a man she was dating for financial security reasons.
The mother-of-two, believed to be from London, asked Mumsnet users if it was morally wrong for her to say yes to a proposal from a man she has “absolutely no romantic or sexual attraction to” .
The single mother, aged in her 30s, explained that her children’s biological father did not pay her any child support, although he was “reasonably well off”.
Although she has established a good career and earns an honest salary, it doesn’t go far enough, with childcare costs and rent topping £1,000 and £2,000 respectively.
But people were divided by his message, with many against the idea and others fully supporting his decision.
The mother of two is considering whether to accept a proposal from a longtime friend. She only has “warm and friendly feelings” because her “reasonable” salary in London doesn’t go far enough for her and her children (stock image)
The single mother lives paycheck to paycheck, with any unexpected bills having to be transferred to a credit card.
She believes that if she pairs her with a man who earns a good salary working as a freelancer in the technology sector, her family’s quality of life would improve significantly.
On the forum, the mother explained that she and the man who asked her first met when they were in their 20s.
The man is from her country of origin, which is unknown, and he would perceive her as “the one who got away.”
But unfortunately, the woman who is quickly approaching 40 doesn’t feel the same way, clarifying that she only had “warm and friendly” feelings for him.
She wrote: “I’m not attractive at all and have never been asked out or visible to men in my life, so this isn’t a ‘lots of fish in the sea’ scenario.
“It’s very unusual for me to feel loved and adored on this level, and I feel really bad that I can’t offer the same intensity of feeling in return.”
She continues that she would even go so far as to “electrocute” her own brain if it meant she would develop feelings of love for the man who asked for her hand in marriage.
According to the poster, she is only planning to marry her friend who she previously texted barely once a month due to her family’s safety.
The mother revealed that she had come close to several paydays while being in the “red”, adding that she had no savings or even a pension.
In the event of unexpected payments, such as an impromptu dentist appointment or a school trip, the mother of two must charge the expense to a credit card.
Even though he never left his parents’ house, nor had a long-term relationship, much less married, she believes that becoming legally bound to this man would greatly improve her children’s quality of life.
She revealed that her potential future husband earns a good income by freelancing in the technology sector.
Although the mother of two has expressed concerns about how long the relationship will last if she “settles down”, she sees the proposal as a good financial decision, which would mean additional opportunities for her children, as well as possibly a little luck. money put aside in savings or a pension.
The London mum admitted there weren’t ‘many fish in the sea’ for her
The mother, who hasn’t taken time off from work in eight monotonous years, also fears this could be her last chance at a relationship.
She told Mumsnet that she herself doesn’t oil paint, implying there isn’t a long list of suitors or similar chances beyond her partner.
Many Mumnset users took to the comments section to vehemently express their opposition to the mother’s idea, calling the relationship “doomed to fail”.
One person commented: “No way. It’s hard enough when you love them, but without that, it’s doomed to failure.
“I understand what you’re saying, but there’s something horrible wrong. This isn’t the Victorian era.
Another added: “Very unfair to do this to him, unless you’re completely upfront about what’s going on then he can decide if it’s okay or not.”
While one person added: “You should only marry him for his money if he is fully aware that it is a factor in your decision.”
“Don’t lie and say you’re only marrying him for love if that’s not true.”
But some fully support the mother’s decision to marry for financial gain, with one commenter saying: “If it benefits your children and you can handle it, I would do it.”
Public opinion remains divided, with many vehemently disagreeing with the mother’s plan, while others, straddling the fence, say it’s fine, as long as she tells her potential future partner .
“When you become a parent, you have to put your children first. »
One person advised: “If you truly believe that you will make each other happy, even if not for the usual reasons, then I don’t see why you wouldn’t marry him.” »
“Romantic love fades, you have a friendship, that matters.”
A few Mumsnet users are straddling the fence, advising her to clearly explain the reasoning behind her decision to her potential fiancé, so that it is “right”.
While another continued: “I would definitely try living together for a year, maintaining separate finances, before agreeing to marriage.”