This Morning relationship expert Michelle Elman has revealed she believes her cheating ex genuinely loved her, despite being devastated by his betrayal.
In April 2023, Michelle was heartbroken to discover that her partner of three years had betrayed her, just hours after their engagement.
Speaking to MailOnline while promoting his new podcast, In all honestyMichelle offered her advice to fans who are struggling with their own heartbreak.
She admitted that she was in shock for the first three months after their split and then felt a wave of anger.
While it may have seemed like she was handling the breakup well, in the months following their separation, her more vulnerable emotions finally began to surface.
This Morning relationship expert Michelle Elman has revealed she believes her cheating ex genuinely loved her, despite being devastated by his betrayal.
In April 2023, Michelle was heartbroken to discover that her partner of three years had betrayed her, just hours after their engagement.
Reflecting on her experience, she said that while people cope with a breakup in many different ways, one common emotion is often shame.
She said feeling this way is normal, but there is a healthy way to handle it.
After “using her entire life coaching toolbox” to grow through her own heartbreak, she’s now revealed the best ways to cope with breaking up with a partner who doesn’t know how to love you.
She told MailOnline: ‘I’ve been saying a lot to people going through similar situations – the shame is not yours because I understand that the instinct when you’ve been cheated on is to be ashamed or feel embarrassed and that shame doesn’t belong to you.’
Michelle’s first piece of advice for healing is to “feel it all” because “all the waves will come.”
Reflecting on her own experience, she said: “There were times when I thought, ‘Why am I not more angry? Don’t worry, it will come.’ I just wasn’t at that point. I think what was probably most shocking to my friends and family is that the anger came so late. And it wasn’t much either.
“Especially as a life coach, anger is one of the emotions I’m most comfortable with. And it just wasn’t the one that made me feel as angry as I thought I would.”
He then said his next advice was to “stop judging the order in which you express your emotions.”
In In All Honesty With Michelle Elmen, she discusses these topics with a number of celebrity guests and unpacks how to deal with a breakup and many other everyday issues.
Speaking to MailOnline while promoting her new podcast, In All Honesty, Michelle offered her advice to fans struggling with their own heartbreak.
Reflecting on her experience, she said that while people cope with a breakup in many different ways, one common emotion is often shame.
“I think we have a predefined idea of the order of a breakup: first you have to cry and then you have to be sad; it doesn’t necessarily happen that way,” she said.
‘The saddest moment I felt was probably three months after it happened.
‘Immediately after it happened, there was a huge shock, it was almost survival mode, just trying to move on and my mind almost trying to comprehend what had happened.
‘I think a lot of what adds to the pain of a breakup is what you tell yourself.
‘You might tell yourself horrible things, like you deserve all this.
‘I have very good control over my thoughts thanks to my training as a life coach, so that’s what made my breakup so much easier: I never blamed myself.
‘I took responsibility for my part when it came to our relationship. But as I’ve said many times, we did not have an unhappy relationship.
‘This misconception that men in particular are unfaithful means they are unhappy and that is not true.
“It may be true, but there are multiple reasons why people cheat.”
“And then I think another narrative that people use to hurt themselves is, ‘Well, if only I could do this differently,'” she added.
“What if I had gone to look at his phone a month ago and checked all this out? And really, you already have enough to do in reality.”
You don’t need to come up with made-up scenarios to hurt your feelings even more. And I think that’s where a lot of my coaching really helps me in the breakup.
Her final piece of advice was that she thinks you should avoid “contact with your ex.”
She told MailOnline: ‘If someone has cheated on you, you can’t be friends with them anymore.
‘Anyway, I don’t think you can go from a relationship to being friends, even if you haven’t been cheated on.
‘And it takes a period where you really separate from each other, especially if you’ve been in a long-term relationship.
“And if you’re not able to get that space, you’re never going to be able to fully heal if that person is still in your life.”
While Michelle’s top three tips for healing the pain of losing someone who doesn’t love you may seem simple, relationships are much more complicated.
That’s why she’s launched a new series of her own podcast, In All Honesty With Michelle Elmen, which is among the top five educational podcasts on Spotify and Apple Music.
She discusses these topics with some celebrity guests and explains how to deal with a breakup and many other issues.
Michelle’s first episode premiered this week and saw her reflect on what started out as the best day of her romantic life: a marriage proposal, the harsh outing of her new fiancé to her social media followers, and the shocking end to her engagement after discovering his infidelity — all in the span of 24 hours.
Listeners can expect to hear the episode about heartbreak during her third release.
After “using her entire life coaching toolbox” to overcome her own heartbreak, she has now revealed the best ways to deal with a breakup.
She will speak openly about every minute of the three weeks between her separation and her announcement.
“I basically put all my life coaching tools into my breakup, and I went all in,” she said, previewing the episode.
Michelle has respected her ex-partner’s privacy throughout their relationship, saying it would break her heart if he was mocked online after she experienced weight-shaming and insulting nicknames on her own profile.
She said her reason for sharing her story publicly is to support other women who have gone through the same experience and hopes her honesty shows them that they have nothing to be ashamed of.
