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I’m a psychologist – here’s how the ‘bed rotting’ trend can affect your relationship and how to avoid it

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One of the many TikTok trends set to gain popularity in 2024 is bed rot, but what is it and why do so many people do it?

The trend is for couples to choose to spend hours together under the duvet, known as “bed-rotting dates”, rather than going out together. It’s not about sleeping, it’s about scrolling through your phones or watching TV for hours on end.

According to Birmingham-based clinical psychologist Dr Lalitaa Suglani, author of High-Functioning Anxiety: A Five-Step Guide to Calming Inner Panic, the tendency is a result of people feeling “overwhelmed” by the pressures and accelerated pace of life.

She told FruitySlots.com: ‘The “bed rot” trend arises from social exhaustion, where many are overwhelmed by constant pressures and the fast pace of modern life.

‘We are in a society that glorifies productivity and leaves people exhausted. This trend reflects a growing need to escape and rest in an overstimulated world. It is also where people seek refuge in simple, passive activities.

And the activity can negatively influence the romantic relationship, he added.

She said: “It can reduce levels of intimacy with your partner and, without trying new things together, the couple could start to feel ‘stuck’ and ‘bored’ in their relationship.”

Dr Suglani continued: ‘For couples, “rotting in bed” together may initially seem like quality downtime, offering an opportunity to bond in a relaxed environment. However, if it becomes a habit, you run the risk of creating complacency in the relationship.

‘Romantic relationships thrive on variety, shared experiences, and growth. Relying too much on passive time together can lead to stagnation, and couples miss out on deeper emotional and intimate connection and new experiences.’

He added that if bed rot replaces more active and attractive dating ideas, “over time it can reduce the excitement and intimacy in a relationship.”

“Shared adventures, trying new things and socializing with others bring new energy to relationships,” explained the psychologist.

“Without them, couples can feel stagnant or bored, which can affect long-term connection and fulfillment.”

Dr. Suglani shared her top three tips for overcoming bed rot.

“Bed rot” is becoming an increasingly common activity among couples, but it can have a negative effect on relationships (file image)

1. Set limits

She said: ‘Setting boundaries is important. Allocating specific times for bed rot, such as limiting it to a few hours on a lazy weekend, helps prevent it from becoming an unhealthy habit.

‘It is necessary to encourage a balanced routine that includes both rest and active participation in the world.

“Boundaries ensure that rest does not become an avoidance or escape from life’s responsibilities.”

2. Create small achievable goals

“For those who find it difficult to break the cycle of bed rot, it is essential to start with small, achievable goals,” said the psychologist.

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Spending too much time “rotting in bed” can reduce intimacy levels with your partner, says psychologist (file image)

“Setting daily tasks like getting out of bed to walk, practicing mindfulness, or participating in social activities can change the pattern.”

3. Build a routine

Her third and final tip is that people can help get out of the cycle of bed rot by creating a routine.

She explained: ‘Developing a routine that includes active self-care and time limits for passive activities helps create balance.

“You’ll soon get out of that cycle of staying home and watching the world go by.”

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