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If your friend or partner shows emotional or controlling signs while texting you, they could be a narcissist, a psychologist has warned.
Dr. Kerry McAvoy, who specializes in helping victims of abuse, revealed the seven red flags you might miss that show a person is love bombing you – a type of emotional manipulation that ensures you feel attached. to the relationship.
These signs could include sending incomplete, anxiety-provoking messages and expecting an immediate response to your text but not responding to yours right away.
By understanding the warning signs to watch for, McAvoy said you can tell when it’s time to make a quick getaway.
Signs that you are being emotionally manipulated by a narcissist could include sending anxiety-provoking incomplete messages and expecting an immediate response to their text message, but not responding to yours right away.
Dr. McAvoy has been a psychologist for over 20 years and uses her own experience of being married to a narcissist to help abuse victims “regain confidence, clarity, and control over their lives.”
Narcissism is a personality type that exhibits qualities that include thinking highly of oneself, needing admiration, believing that others are inferior, and lacking empathy for others.
Partners of people with narcissistic traits are said to be at higher risk of developing mental health problems as a result of their emotionally abusive relationship.
1. Expect him to respond immediately
A narcissist might expect you to drop everything and respond to their text, regardless of what you’re doing, what time it is, or where you are.
“And if you don’t, they’ll want to know if you’re too busy for them,” Dr. McAvoy said in a tiktok video.
The average narcissist attributes a sense of self-importance and demands special treatment from others to prove that they are special.
They hate being bothered, and if they don’t receive an immediate response, they work to maintain control by making you feel ashamed or sorry, he continued to explain.
An example of this type of text could be: ‘I need to talk to you’, ‘Answer me now’ and ‘What are you doing that you can’t answer me?’
2. Send mass sentimental text messages
A narcissist will “find some sentimental message and then cut and paste it to a bunch of people” – including former lovers, friends, and potential new partners – to spread their “love and attention everywhere” so they can get the same. kind of response in return, Dr. McAvoy said.
People with this disorder need constant love, admiration, and attention to feel important, so they send sentimental text messages to people they know will return the gesture.
3. They are too attached to their phone
Narcissists seem to be attached to their phones, “as if they were born with it,” according to Dr. McAvoy.
This is due to their need to feel important by having immediate access to other people’s sentimental text messages or likes and comments on social media.
A 2023 study found that people who have narcissistic tendencies or characteristics are more attached to their devices, specifically using them to scroll through social media apps.
4. They don’t respond to your text messages promptly
When texting a narcissist, the messages may not be “treated with the same level of priority,” Dr. McAvoy warned, adding that “it may be minutes, hours, or days before they bother to respond.” .
The reasoning could be that they need to maintain control and mastery over any situation and, by making their friend or partner wait for a response, they can avoid feeling vulnerable to another person.
Dr Kerry McAvoy (pictured) has been a psychologist for over 20 years and uses her own experience of being married to a narcissist to help victims of abuse “regain confidence, clarity and control over their life “.
5. Send explicit messages too soon
The act of sending explicit messages or photos could give the narcissist the thrill of acting out sexually to avoid potential sexual rejection in your relationship.
“(Narcissists) think it’s okay to send explicit text messages and photos, even before you’ve met or the relationship has gone this far,” Dr. McAvoy told her followers.
A 2019 study He focused on why men send nude photos and found that the two main reasons are associated with narcissistic behavior: self-gratification and attention-seeking.
“As ineffective and inappropriate as it may be, this ‘I’ll show you mine if you show me yours’ compulsion is rooted in self-gratification.” saying Dr. Cory Pedersen, lead author of the study and professor of Psychology at Kwantlen Polytechnic University.
“Given that bragging and dominance-seeking are less conventional expressions of female gender roles, it’s not surprising that men…do this much more frequently,” said Detroit sex therapist Russell Stambaugh. cnn.
“Because this is often an unsolicited pursuit of dominance, genital photographs of men are considered much more aggressive.”
6. Send sketchy, anxiety-provoking text messages.
Dr. McAvoy warned that the narcissist might “send short messages without any follow-up, leaving you anxious, unbalanced, or confused about the status of the relationship.”
They might send a text message that says, “Yesterday was fun.” Although my head hurts now. Thank you,” leaving you wondering what you could have done to give them a headache or annoy them.
Other examples could be asking you to meet over the weekend and after you say “yes” they stop responding.
7. Constantly send the same photo, song or video.
Sentimental messages can come in any form, whether it’s a photo from a trip you took together, a video of you laughing together, or the song you danced to at a wedding.
They want to stay in your mind and keep you coming back so they have constant validation that you won’t leave them.
It’s “a way to remind you how special you are and to keep you emotionally connected,” Dr. McAvoy said.