A psychologist has revealed the seven emotional stages we go through after loss or divorce.
Clinical psychologist Dr Lalitaa Suglani, based in Birmingham, took to social media to outline these stages and what they all entail.
In her afterDr. Suglani, who has more than 135,000 followers, said everyone will go through the seven different phases she outlined at different times.
When speaking more broadly about loss and separations, she noted that no one can predict exactly how long it will take to build a life around the pain.
In a caption to her post, the psychologist wrote: “Every person is different. Don’t compare yourself to someone else’s journey.’
A psychologist has outlined seven emotional stages we go through after loss or breakup in a post on Instagram (stock image)
She continued, “Going through a breakup can be very difficult and stressful, and there is no one way to feel about it.
“Often you are filled with many confusing emotions at once and you may wonder if what you are feeling is normal.”
‘You may feel overwhelmed by emotions for a while, it’s normal to feel this way. It’s quite a process to “let go” of someone you really loved, or the reality you thought existed.
“Your mind has to readjust to a new way of being without this person in your life.”
7 emotional phases we go through after loss or breakup
1. Shock and denial
2. Desperate need for answers
3. Fear, loneliness and sadness
6. Peace and acceptance
Source: Dr. Lalitaa Suglani
Dr. Suglani listed the seven emotional stages we go through after loss or breakup. He started with shock and denial.
The second point she made, which will certainly strike a chord with anyone who has experienced a breakup, is the feeling of a “desperate need for answers.”
Third, she mentioned that she felt a sense of fear, loneliness, and sadness.
Fourth was negotiation, and fifth was anger.
The sixth emotional stage that Dr. Suglani listed was peace and acceptance.
And finally, seventh and last, she mentioned forgiveness.
Concluding her lengthy caption at the end of her post, the psychologist pointed out that going through these different stages is not a linear process.
She wrote, “You can go up and down these phases and be in multiple phases at the same time. Be kind to yourself during this time.
‘You’re switching gears. It can take time.
“And just because you feel ready to forgive doesn’t mean something else won’t make you angry or sad again.
‘It’s about having the tools to help you regulate and manage the emotions that may arise, because you get to a point where you no longer see the relationship through rose-colored glasses.’
Another important point the psychologist made in the post was that, as much as you wish it were possible, one person alone “can’t make a relationship work if he/she is the only one who wants it to work.”
“Healthy relationships require effort from both partners, and you can’t blame yourself for not being able to maintain a relationship on your own,” she concluded.
A number of people took to the comments section to share their own thoughts on the post, to discuss divorces in general or to comment on specific stages.
A number of Instagram users took to the comments section of the post to reveal how the information had struck a chord with them
Discussing how they know they’ve reached the end of the healing process, one social media user wrote, “You don’t really know you’re over someone until you can honestly and sincerely say to them, ‘I wish you all the best in life’. honestly.’
Another agreed with the point that all stages can occur at any time during the recovery process.
They wrote: ‘Going through a divorce and all those phases arise throughout the day.’
Meanwhile, another expressed appreciation for the post and the way the information was presented.
They simply wrote: ‘Yessss, this explains it all so well!’