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For many parents, saying goodbye to their children when they leave for college is a difficult experience.
It means the end of an era as your child transitions into adulthood and becomes more independent.
But luckily, one parenting expert has provided five top tips to help parents adjust to a calmer home as millions of students prepare for Flies from the nest this month.
Professor Deborah Christie is a consultant clinical psychologist and Professor of Paediatric and Adolescent Psychology at University College Hospital, London.
A parenting expert has given five top tips to help parents adjust to a quieter home as millions of students prepare to leave the nest this month.
Following a worrying study into the Abbott FreeStyle Libre 2 Plus glucose sensor, which automatically reads blood sugar levels in teenagers and adults with diabetes, Professor Christie has shared her expert advice.
The study shows that teenagers are not well prepared to face the real world and more than a quarter are still unable to boil an egg.
A thought experiment
The professor’s first piece of advice was for parents to think about how they felt at that time in their lives and to think about what their parents did to make things easier for them and also what they did that was not helpful.
She advises taking note of this and then realizing that no matter how ready you felt to leave home at the time, your parents would have felt the way you feel now.
Professor Christie added: “Look how far you’ve come and congratulate yourselves. You’ve done an incredible job getting your children to this point in their lives.”
You already know how to do this!
The expert then suggested giving yourself a pat on the back for taking care of your son and helping him get to this point in his life.
She said: ‘Since they were born, you have helped them grow from a baby who needed you all the time to an emerging adult ready to go out into the world.
‘How did it help them in each of these transitions through the stages of development from childhood to adolescence?
“How did you help them transition to kindergarten? How did you help them go to high school? You know how to do it, you can do it!”
Professor Deborah Christie is a consultant clinical psychologist and professor of paediatric and adolescent psychology at University College Hospital, London. She shared her advice for parents sending their children to university
Practice makes perfect
Professor Christie believes that preparation is key for a child leaving home. She advises building a “toolkit” of skills for independent living.
She says: ‘Make a list of all the things they might need to know how to do. Can they shop for and cook simple basic meals? Get them to help you with the weekly shopping and prepare some basic foods, so they don’t have to live on dried noodles!’
‘So, ask them to help with family meals and see if they can do it. If not, how will you help them learn?’
Prepare for the “what ifs”
As a parent, you know that things don’t always go as planned in your child’s life, and sometimes all you can do is be there to pick up the pieces.
The professor explains how the adolescent brain is designed to seek out and explore new experiences, so all risks can never be avoided.
But she emphasizes that you can make sure that as part of your toolkit you have a “what if…” resource with useful numbers, affirmations or simply statements.
These could include notes like “call Mom if I’m feeling sick,” which you can save to their phone or computer.
The expert also advises mothers and fathers to “talk about what they will do if they feel homesick, stressed or anxious, feel like giving up, lose focus or motivation, or feel heartbroken.”
Just one piece of the puzzle
The parental concerns highlighted in the FreeStyle Libre research are amplified if you are one of the 3 in 10 families caring for a teen living with a chronic condition like type 1 diabetes.
Professor Christie said: ‘All parents agree that technology can provide reassurance.
Remember that teens with chronic illnesses may face more challenges than their peers, but they also have more in common than they do differences.
“Your condition is just one part of the amazing puzzle that is and will be your life. And technologies like health monitors and diabetes alarms are there to help.”