A diagnosed narcissistic sociopath has revealed the twisted things she enjoys that would disgust most people.
The woman, who goes by the name Delta, shared a video about her struggles after realizing she loves feeling intense hate and rage, knowing that the average person should despise the reactions.
A narcissistic sociopath is someone who is remorseless, manipulative, and has a sense of entitlement.
“I’m missing specific emotions, like empathy and remorse, and a lot of my other emotions are pretty boring,” Delta explained.
“I think I enjoy emotions like being full of hate and rage because they are intense and feel real.”
She added that anger and hatred encourage her to “live in a world where I normally don’t feel much of anything.”
“That’s why I like confrontation, that’s why I pick fights with other people, that’s why I engage in risky behavior,” Delta said.
A narcissistic sociopath explained that she feels and enjoys hate and anger in a way that normal people do not. These feelings help alleviate all the other emotions, like empathy, that make her feel less human.
Delta uses TikTok to share his experience diagnosed as a narcissistic sociopath, while helping people protect themselves from the tactics used by those suffering from the disorder.
His last clip focused on how he learned that his emotions are probably not the same as those of the average person.
“In general, I didn’t know that most people don’t like to feel hate and anger,” he said.
Delta also revealed that he also suffers from antisocial personality disorder (ASPD), a mental health condition that causes harmful behaviors without remorse, which is a symptom of his diagnosis.
People with ASPD gain satisfaction from exploiting others and often have no problem hurting them due to a lack of remorse or guilt, according to VeryWellMind.
“For me, my ASPD blocks and dulls a lot of my emotions,” Delta said, although she noted that she feels no empathy or remorse.
Unlike most people who are fulfilled by desire and happiness, those emotions leave a void for her.
‘(They) are very fast or boring, and they don’t necessarily feel real. They are more superficial,’ he explained.
People with ASPD can be ruthless and attack those who oppose them.
But opposition can feel like a game to people with this disorder, giving them a boost in life.
While Delta stated that he is not 100 percent free of emotions, anger and hatred prevent him from “seeking adrenaline and stimulation.”
When that happens, “it largely translates into wanting to make people angry, feeling rage, hating people,” he said.
“Anything that gives me a feeling of adrenaline in any way is something I see myself pursuing.”
It’s partly the power and control he feels behind strong emotions like hate that makes him so attractive.
The main objective of a narcissistic sociopath is to obtain control over others that allows him to fulfill his fantasies of superiority and power, according to Simply Psychology.
“For most people, emotions like hate and anger seem to be something that causes them distress, that doesn’t make them feel good; to me, those emotions make me feel good,” Delta said.
‘I like to feel them and I look for them.’
In a separate video, Delta explained that she suffers from the trauma of adulthood, including poverty, institutionalization, and severe anxiety, and that these experiences worsened the condition she said she had suffered from since childhood.
She also previously said that her past experiences may have contributed to her diagnosis and claimed that she was a victim of sex trafficking for years when she was 10 years old and was allegedly raped frequently.
“Of all the emotions I feel, anger is the one I experience most intensely,” Delta said in her new video.
“I don’t have a problem with feeling anger, so I think because it gives me a sense of stimulation, it helps my boredom and allows me to feel real and human.”