- Oregon’s Jeff Guenther said you should never use the word “always.”
- People will get defensive if they are told they “always” do something, he said.
- READ MORE: Expert reveals why ‘no contact’ after a breakup is good for you
A relationship therapist has revealed the four things you would never do to your partner.
Jeff Guenther, a couples counselor in Oregon, told his 2.8 million TikTok followers about the thoughtless comments his clients make to their partners that are sure to spark resentment.
The first thing Guenther said he would never do is give his partner the silent treatment.
‘That can be incredibly triggering for people whose parents punished them that way. “It can be traumatizing,” she stated.
Never give your partner the silent treatment, said couples therapist Jeff Guenther
‘It’s childish and petty and meant to create anxiety. I hate it.’
Many of Guenther’s followers in the comments asked how to avoid giving their partner the silent treatment when they have a habit of withdrawing in a conflict, to which he advised: “Ask for space and let them know you need it to feel better so you can come back.” to connect.” .’
The next thing Guenther refrains from doing at all costs is “telling them why my ex was better than them.”
‘That’s unnecessary mess and what’s the point of it?
“You’re opening a can of worms where your partner is going to constantly think that you’re comparing them to your last partner all the time.”
He added: “If you have to do something you shouldn’t do, keep it to yourself.”
Günther It is also recommended not to make fun of or belittle your partner on a regular basis.
“Light teasing may be okay if you’re both okay with it, but if making your partner feel bad about themselves is the primary way to show your love, it will backfire one day when they start to feel pretty insecure about themselves.”
And finally, he warned against extremes, and saying things like ‘You’re always like this’ or ‘You never do that.’
“Words like ‘always’ and ‘never’ always put someone on the defensive,” Guenther said. “It’s never a good way to start a conversation, believe me.”
“And 99 percent of the time it’s just not true, they always or never do something,” he added.