In December, I was laid off from my previous job. When I started looking for a new job, at age 30, I wanted to make sure it was one where I felt I could contribute a lot. I found a posting on LinkedIn for a VP of HR position, which I understand is ironic, given what happened next.
I looked at the job description and knew it matched what I had done previously. I researched the company and its core values, which (and this is ironic, again) I liked. When I applied, the recruiter contacted me and told me that my experience matched what they wanted.
The interview was conducted via video conference. I was wearing a black blazer and a collared shirt, both pressed. I wore small gold earrings. I had blow-dried my hair and had beige nails. Everything, in other words, was in line with professional attire.
But I didn’t wear makeup.
I didn’t think it was a big deal, although apparently it was for her.
Melissa Weaver on a Zoom call without makeup, which she says didn’t impress a potential employer
I thought the interview went really well. I answered the questions well. Since I have experience in recruiting, I know how to hold conversations with people. It was supposed to last 30 minutes, but it went closer to 40. I was very optimistic when the call ended, but a couple of days after the interview, I received an email from the recruiter saying that I met what they wanted in terms of experience and that my values matched theirs, but that they would not be moving forward with my application.
Why not? I decided to ask for opinions.
She wrote back and told me she was worried that I wasn’t putting enough effort into my appearance.
My reaction was one of surprise. First, that someone would write that in an email. But then, in 2024, that this is still happening. She was very enthusiastic about the company and knew I was a good fit for the position. I can only assume she mentioned makeup as a concern because there was nothing else that would rule me out. So did that mean my lack of makeup somehow made me less qualified or less enthusiastic about the job? I found that disconcerting.
I don’t wear a lot of makeup for a few reasons. First, makeup is expensive. There’s a reason the cosmetics industry is a multi-billion dollar industry. Also, it’s not something I enjoy doing. I have plenty of friends who are happy to spend 45 minutes to an hour putting on makeup. It’s their moment of zen and it’s good for them, but I’d rather invest in my skincare. My dermatologist and I are on a first-name basis.
In the comments on a TikTok I made about the experience, people were saying things like, “I actually heard I wore too much makeup to my interview.” Or, “I’m not supposed to wear red lipstick because it’s too overpowering.” One woman said she received more tasks at work when she started wearing makeup. For another, it was losing weight. Reading that, in 2024, our appearance somehow correlates to our ability to do our jobs is very disheartening.
Many people use makeup to enhance their features, but the idea that it is a requirement is crazy.
I dressed smartly for the interview. Dressing well shows that you are enthusiastic about the job and that you take it seriously. That applies to both men and women. In the selection process, I never judged anyone if they wore makeup or if a man had long hair, as long as it was well-groomed. One time, someone showed up for a video interview in pajamas. In that case, I thought, “I’m not really sure this is appropriate for a senior position.”
The thing is, makeup is only for women. Men aren’t expected to wear foundation or know how to contour their face or whatever.
Perhaps it would have been more shocking if the comment had come from a man, because, having worked in recruitment, I had never heard a male colleague comment on a woman’s make-up. Perhaps, in the case of women, it is a question of them wearing it themselves, so they expect another woman to do it.
I don’t think this experience will necessarily change the way I approach job hunting, because I want to be part of a company that has a supportive culture and doesn’t have expectations that women have to wear makeup. It’s really important to me to make sure that companies have an inclusive culture.
I don’t think it’s necessarily fair to judge an entire company based on one person, although recruiters are often the face of the company, or the first face you see. So that’s something to keep in mind. I don’t think I can learn everything I want to know about a company’s culture based on the first person I meet or even the first few people. That’s why I appreciate a hiring process with multiple interviews with different people. As exhausting as it may be for some people, I appreciate it because it allows you to meet a lot of different people in the company.
Many people agreed with Melissa’s opinion after she posted about her experience on TikTok.
Others had received similar reactions, including one suggesting the interviewee lose weight.
One thing I’ve always liked about working in HR is that it’s a customer-facing role. So I want to find an employer with an inclusive culture where I can contribute to it. It’s about women supporting women and men supporting women too. It’s given me an extra boost in terms of knowing what I’m passionate about and wanting to make sure I can contribute to a company.
I didn’t respond to the recruiter because I thought it wouldn’t make any difference. Several people encouraged me to forward his email to the company’s HR manager. I don’t know if I will do that. You’re also worried about being blacklisted.
Human Resources can be a grueling job, but at the end of the day, I love it. I love working with people, so I know this is the path I want to stay on.
I didn’t make the TikTok to criticise the company or anything like that. I never wanted it to be a crusade. I just wanted to get people’s opinions, and if it sparks a conversation, I’m happy. A lot of the comments I’ve received have been supportive and have called out double standards. The fact that so many of them were encouraging made me feel positive and reassured me that even if one recruiter felt that way, it’s not the majority opinion.
As originally published on Business Insider.
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