Confession: I recently dated a guy who was perfect for me. He was intelligent, emotionally available, attractive and the biggest prize of all prizes: he was 6 feet tall.
Everything was going swimmingly until we started to feel hot and heavy. I noticed that he occasionally directed my face toward his butt. Yes, the hindquarters of it. Derriere. Rump.
Specifically, he wanted me to use my tongue in that area, and I’m no prude, but that will be a big no for me.
Finally, one night, after a few wines, he brought up the subject. I wonder why I wouldn’t want to treat her bot-bot like a lollipop and I just said I can’t. The same thing happens to me with sashimi.
Sure, other people may enjoy this delicious Japanese delicacy, but in my opinion, it’s still raw fish and I can’t understand it. It’s safe to say I feel the same way about butts.
Jana Hocking recently dated a 6-foot tall, attractive, emotionally available, intelligent man.
However, every time we took off our equipment, he tried to guide me in the same direction and in the end I had to end our relationship. He was getting annoying and had no interest in getting intimate with that particular part of his body.
Then last week I had an epiphany. I suddenly realized why men cheat.
This epiphany came when I won the dinner lottery and sat next to someone really interesting with a fascinating career.
After crossing out all the topics of polite conversation, such as the weather and travel, we moved on to our chosen professions.
Now I’m usually the one who gets asked a million questions about my career. —What do you mean you write about sex and dating? ‘What does your family think?’ ‘Aren’t you worried that men will be nervous about going out with you?’ bla bla bla.
But tonight was different. Tonight she was sitting in front of the owner of a brothel.
He explained that he had bought the business with money from his ugly divorce. It was something she had wanted to do for years and now, given her freedom and looking for a good distraction from her broken love life, she dove right in.
Jana recently had an epiphany and suddenly realized why men cheat.
He told me a lot about his work, but there was one thing in particular that I found fascinating. When I asked him how many married men came to his establishment, he told me that they made up a very high percentage of the clientele.
However, his reasoning made me stop and reflect.
You see, he said that most of them come to satisfy certain issues that they don’t feel comfortable demanding of their wives.
Ahh yes, the old ‘Madonna-Whore Complex’. Coined by the founder of psychoanalysis himself, Sigmund Freud.
He defined this condition as “the inability to maintain sexual arousal within a loving, committed relationship” and that it “is said to develop in men who view women as holy virgins or degraded prostitutes.” He compartmentalizes women into two simple categories: the pure and the corrupt.
It turns out that many men are happy to make sweet love with their wives, but would be horrified to share their perverted side with them. Then they go to look for him somewhere else, for example a brothel.
And here is a controversial opinion… I very much agree with it. Say, for example, he had put up with my Mr. Right and he was happy to have his butt “tended to” by a professional. I think he would be fine with that.
Or say, for example, someone meets their Mr. Right and he secretly wants to suck his toes, or run around the room in a diaper asking to be spanked. Would it really be so bad if I went to see Janice* at the local brothel to solve that problem? In the meantime, we can enjoy the tender sexual act.
Hell, I’d rather my partner go to a professional than sneak up on the office hottie who might be willing to bust out the bondage gear. We’ve all seen how messy affairs can get, but a quick hookup with someone who won’t be texted later… well, it seems a lot safer.
Don’t get me wrong, I think many husbands would be surprised to find that their wives are happy to spice up their love lives with some kinky good times. OMG, just read some of the naughty women’s secrets I share on my Instagram every Monday night. At our core, we’re all a horny bunch, so why not try to address the issue before dropping a wad of cash elsewhere?
Jana believes many husbands would be surprised to discover that their wives are very happy to spice up their love lives.
But if all that fails and you’re both a little lost, there are other options available. Maybe it could even help your relationship! He doesn’t feel like he’s missing out on something he’d like to explore, and you’re not worried about him running off and having an emotional affair with someone else.
Oh, and I should mention that after dinner he offered to take a couple of us on a tour of the brothel, and all I can say is wow! It was not what I expected.
I had passed this place for years knowing what kind of establishment it was and was always curious to get a sneak peek, so I was glad I finally got around to it.
It looked a little rough on the outside, but it’s luxurious inside! There were red velvet lounges in the waiting room, along with discreet signs reminding customers of their strict safe-sex policy. (You love to see it!)
Each room had its own theme, such as tiger print, black leather, pink satin, bowls of condoms, and a discreet shower in the corner.
And I must say that it is much nicer than the offices I have worked in. Still, I’m not sure my libido can live up to the expectations of the job. Kudos to the courtesans and ladies who keep them running.