When I heard the news that Chris Tarrant’s daughter Fia had found love with a woman, I was absolutely thrilled for her. Fia, 37, has followed her father’s career in broadcasting, working as a presenter for Heart FM. Previously married to a man, she has an eight-year-old son, Haris.
His love life is no one’s business and he had every right to keep his partners a secret, but I’m so glad he chose to announce his new love with a statement on social media.
It can’t have been an easy decision, and I should know that. When I was in my early 20s I got engaged to my long-term boyfriend. There was never any question that I was gay and I was never even remotely attracted to women.
But completely unexpectedly, I fell madly in love with another straight woman while studying for my master’s degree. The feelings, for both of them, came out of nowhere.
I still loved my fiancé (he was my first proper relationship), but this new love was very different and I was very confused about what these intense new feelings meant.
Fia Tarrant (right) has revealed she found love with former bodybuilder Izzy Lukec (left)
My family was horrified when I tried to cancel the wedding. They were furious and, more than anything, deeply worried about what people would think.
I was told that this was “just a phase,” that I couldn’t be gay because I “didn’t look like a lesbian,” and that I had to “get a grip” and focus on having a “normal” life with my future husband. He accepted.
I was so young. I listened to them, broke all ties with the woman and tried to carry on as if nothing had happened, just to keep the peace.
If I had fallen in love with a man, I’m sure things would have been very different.
That was 25 years ago, and back then, the only openly gay role models I knew were Elton John, Freddie Mercury and Kenneth Williams. Country singer kd lang was the only woman, but not someone I could identify with. I certainly couldn’t think of any gay women in the public eye who looked like me.
My marriage inevitably ended after just 18 months. We had spent a wonderful decade together and I thank my husband for everything he taught me, but of course the marriage should never have happened – it was strained from the start.
I met my partner Sharon when we were both invited to be judges at a business event. She was another business leader who, like me, had previously been married to a man but was also gay. Pictured: Sharon, left, and Emma on their wedding day in 2016.
Emma (right) and Sharon happily happy on their wedding day in 2016
Little by little I realized that I wanted to date women exclusively and every time I was in a relationship, I became more and more confident to talk openly about my partner both in my private life and in my professional life.
I have been lucky that, in the circles in which I move, I have always been fully accepted for who I really am.
However, I understand that this is unfortunately not the case for everyone.
I met my partner Sharon when we were both invited to be judges at a business event. She was another business leader who, like me, had previously been married to a man but was also gay.
We instantly clicked and knew this was something special and very quickly knew we wanted to become a family unit together. We married in 2016 with Sharon’s son, Jake, as her best man. Now I’m 46, Sharon is 54 and Jake is 19 and we couldn’t be happier.
Living with and loving another woman means there are no gender roles: one of us has to fix the door, tidy up the car, take out the trash, mow the lawn. It’s quite liberating because you naturally let go of social constructs and create your own dynamic together. For me, the connection is much more intense: women become women and men become men.
It’s also interesting that many gay women stay in touch with our exes: when a previous relationship ends, we don’t seem to break that emotional intimacy. Some of my closest friends started out as romantic relationships. It seems wonderfully civilized and this is a common theme among many gay women.
Unfortunately we have not had an easy time with our families.
For some people, even now, same-sex relationships are simply “not normal.” I think part of it is because there are still too few positive stereotypes in the public eye to normalize the situation.
Fia Tarrant’s mother Ingrid appears to be supportive of her new relationship, reportedly saying: “The main thing is that people are happy.” I’m so happy. Fia is very lucky.
One in five young people in the UK now identify as gay or bisexual. So Fia’s revelation should no longer surprise us.
She posted a beautiful photo of herself holding hands with her new partner on Instagram, with the caption: “It’s time to open the closet door!”
I know you’re just using an old phrase, but it frustrates me to think that the idea of ​​a closet still exists. No one would bat an eyelid if Fia announced a new relationship with a man. But this kind of thing still raises eyebrows, even if the reaction is sometimes positive.
Last year I posted one of my wedding photos on the social media platform LinkedIn because I decided it might be good for more women to have visibly gay role models like us.
Emma Heathcote-James was stunned by the response to her LinkedIn post, in which she posted a photo of her and her wife on their wedding day.
There are so many gay couples, moving forward with their happy, successful lives surrounded by loving family and friends, who simply don’t feel the need to shout about their sexuality.
You wouldn’t necessarily know they were gay. But I realized that, unfortunately, maybe we need to show how good this is. I wanted other professionals to look at me and my wife and see that you don’t have to pretend to be straight to be successful.
I hope my revelation makes life (at home or at work) easier for other women.
It’s just a simple photo of me standing next to Sharon, on our wedding day, both of us in our beautiful ivory wedding dresses, each holding a bouquet of white flowers. We seem so blissfully happy together, and that’s because we are.
I was amazed by the response. That image has been shared and reposted around the world, viewed by over 2.5 million people, and I have been inundated with thousands of wonderful comments and messages.
A woman messaged me to tell me that her teenage daughter had recently told her she was gay and she immediately thought of me and said that hearing my story had made her less worried about the situation.
I feel like it has done some good.
Like Fia’s announcement, all of this helps to “normalize” the idea of ​​same-sex relationships among the remaining sections of the population who still consider them unusual or unconventional.
No one should have to hide who they are, or pretend to be someone they are not. I wish you all the best in your new relationship. Welcome to the sisterhood, Fia, and thank you.
EMMA HEATHCOTE-JAMES is founder and CEO of Little Soap Company.
As told to LOUISE ATKINSON