A former nanny says the job of caring for other people’s children prevents her from having children forever.
Marcela, who chose not to share her last name, loved children so much that she worked at a daycare for two years, caring for the little ones full-time.
At first, the 28-year-old found them cute, fun and easy to handle, but over time she became “disheartened” by the amount of work involved in caring for them.
Instead, Marcela prefers to focus on her dog, Jace, who she says is more than enough for her.
Marcela, 28, used to think she wanted to have children, before taking care of other people’s children as her daily job.
Since deciding not to have children, she has a dog, Jace, and a boyfriend who shares her vision of a future together without children.
“I found myself taking care of a baby when I was 22 years old and I continued taking care of him until I was 25, when they turned three,” said Marcela, from Missouri.
‘I thought to myself, ‘This is the perfect test to see what motherhood is all about.’ Boy, was I right!
‘I loved being a nanny, it brought me so much joy and satisfaction, and I felt like I did a really amazing job at it.
‘But it also single-handedly confirmed to me that motherhood wasn’t for me.
‘There were days when it was 5pm and I was more than ready to hand that baby over and get into bed due to the exhaustion of keeping up with them all day.
‘The constant care and vigilance required was excessive some days and my patience would wear thin by the end of the day.
“My eyes opened and I realized, ‘Oh my God, I don’t want to do this whole mother thing, ever.’
‘My parents were definitely distrustful and confused at first because of societal expectations and the boomer mentality. But they soon accepted my choice and love me anyway,” she said.
Marcela comes from a Hispanic Christian home, so she was worried about how it would happen when she told her family about her life choice.
Luckily, everything turned out better than I expected.
“My parents were definitely distrustful and confused at first because of societal expectations and the boomer mentality,” she said.
“But they soon accepted my choice and love me anyway.”
Marcela was previously married but now has a new relationship with her partner Michael, with whom she shares Jace.
“My boyfriend and I talked about the fact that I was never going to have kids and how that dynamic was going to affect our relationship from the beginning,” she said.
“He was on the same page and is also adamant about not having children, so it’s a perfect match.
“We enjoy lazy mornings, worrying about our wants and needs, and spending time doing what makes us feel happy and fulfilled, with plenty of sleep and naps scattered throughout.”
“I didn’t fantasize about being a mother one day; in fact, I feared it because of how far I was from imagining that that would be my life one day,” she admitted.
‘My biggest advice to those who find themselves in limbo not knowing which path to take is to live your best life. Not your mother’s, not your best friend’s, not your sister’s, yours, she declared.
Marcela even organizes birthday celebrations for her dog and says she would “do anything” for him.
Despite facing online trolls, some of whom insist she must feel “miserable” to share posts about her decision not to have children, Marcela is resolute in her decision and has no regrets.
“The fact that I was able to write a novel about my childless journey says a lot about the time and conscious thought I’ve put into this decision,” she said.
‘Unlike most people who don’t have children, I never had a singular moment or event that triggered this journey.
‘I just know that the desire to be a mother to a human child has never been there for me, I never played with dolls as I grew up with three older brothers.
“I didn’t fantasize about being a mother one day; In fact, I feared it because of how far I was from imagining that this would be my life one day.
“I couldn’t be more grateful for those few years working as a nanny because without it I could have made the most regrettable mistake of my life by ignorantly having a child to please all the outside voices that told me that this is what I should do.” do”.
‘My biggest advice to those who find themselves in limbo not knowing which path to take is to live your best life.
“Not your mother’s, not your best friend’s, not your sister’s, yours.”
