It sounds like nonsense you’d see in a Kung Fu movie, but I promise you it’s true.
I can tell just by looking in someone’s eyes if they’re going to be a problem or not.
Romance novels would have you believe that the eyes are the window to the soul. I’m not exactly sure about that, but I can tell you that they’re a window into whether some heavily tattooed zip code gangster is going to punch you in the jaw or not. .
He’s not a trite pseudo-philosophical tough guy. It’s basic psychology.
Direct eye contact, especially in the face of hostility, is a dominant trait.
Avoiding eye contact, even for a fraction of a second, is submissive.
That’s why boxing and MMA fights have a blank stare after the weigh-ins.
So let me give you an example of when I used to risk life and limb by opening the doors of one of the most dangerous nightclubs in Australia (number 2 on NSW Liquor and Gaming’s list of violent venues, to be exact). .
A former bouncer at a famous nightclub has shared the secrets of his trade. Levi Parsons says he would know in seconds if a customer was going to cause problems (file image)
If you tell someone something they’re not going to like, like “Sorry buddy, I can’t let you in because we’re full” and they look away for a moment, I instantly know I can do it. Resolve the situation without violence.
Even if they then become aggressive and start yelling at me.
On the other hand, if the person doesn’t look away and looks directly at me, there’s a reasonable chance I’ll have to strangle them.
Now, it is important to keep a couple of things in mind.
Just because someone looks the other way doesn’t mean they’re not dangerous, or that they’re not a skilled martial artist who could easily kick my ass.
Fully patched bikers and career criminals were regulars at the place I used to work, and sometimes when I had to line them up, the meaner, more notorious thugs would often look away.
It wasn’t because they were submissive or afraid of me. It’s because his intention was not to beat up some humble goalkeeper in front of cameras and witnesses.
They could stab me in the parking lot after work or give me a tour of my house, but at that moment I knew they weren’t willing to do that.
Direct eye contact in the face of hostility is a dominant psychological trait, and is a clear indication that a person could become violent (file image posed by a model)
Likewise, just because someone looks back at you doesn’t mean they’re a good street fighter.
In my experience, an attractive 5’3” woman in high heels, who is not used to people telling her “no,” is unlikely to break eye contact. And it is usually prepared for conflict.
While she is unlikely to become physically aggressive, she will make up for it by yelling abhorrent and emasculating insults at you.
The only other caveat I would add is that when someone is crazy on drugs, all bets are off. You simply cannot predict what they are going to do.
It may seem unfair, but there’s a very good reason why knuckle-dragging thugs like me police the city’s hottest spots so strictly.
When a belligerent postcode gangster challenged me inside a location, I found the best option was to simply strangle them unconscious where they stood and carry their motionless body outside with the help of a Samoan colleague.
It comes from a common expression in the murky world of security and says: “Stop him at the door.”
It basically means that if one person is going to cause trouble, it’s much better for the conflict to take place off-site than on the dance floor, where other patrons can get caught in the crossfire.
There is nothing more annoying than when someone refuses to leave a crowded place and becomes aggressive.
A typical meeting would go like this.
Some lazy thug would beat up another customer, sexually assault bar staff, or literally urinate in the corner of the place (I’ve seen this).
“Sir, I’m afraid you’ll have to go,” he said.
They would respond: ‘What the fuck are you going to do about it, dammit?’
Levi Parsons (pictured in 2013) worked as a bouncer in one of the most violent places in Australia.
To be fair, it’s a very good question: what am am I going to do about it? There are few options.
You can stand there and engage in an endless argument in the hope that they will change their mind, which never works and will inevitably lead to a physical conflict.
Or you can try to grab the gentleman in question and drag him out the door in front of hundreds of club-goers.
Since there are too many obstacles between you and the door, this is not a great plan.
There are too many opportunities for him to break free and throw punches and this can lead to an all-out brawl in the middle of the dance floor if his friends jump up.
It’s always best to avoid hitting someone, of course for legal reasons, but mainly because it’s so easy to break your hands on your skull.
When a belligerent postcode gangster challenged me inside a location, I found the best option was to simply strangle them unconscious where they stood and carry their motionless body outside with the help of a Samoan colleague.
If someone looks away, even for a fraction of a second, the situation can almost always be resolved without violence, despite how aggressive it may seem.
Of course, there are safer and more practical options for self-defense, but nothing sends the message that you’re a relentless psychopath than the simple act of head-butting someone in their orbital bone.
He would look them in the eye, tell them to leave, and if they looked away he knew there was an option for the matter to be resolved without violence, and then he would gradually lead them out.
But if they did respond, it would give them a good warning. And if that were ignored, I would cut off blood flow to his brain by compressing his carotid arteries, either with my arms or his own collar.
It takes about five seconds for someone to pass out. It’s quick and painless, at least for me.
If at any point in this process you considered calling the police, you would never make it as a bouncer.
Police officers do not have the time or manpower to get involved. Plus, it looks bad for the place if officers show up every night and it would greatly damage your tough guy reputation if you had to ask for help.
Reputation is everything to bouncers because if you show any kind of weakness, people will take advantage or even try to keep tabs on you.
Some drunk 21 year old girl might get up and dance on a table for a laugh. Harmless fun, right? What is the problem?
Well, if something like that goes unchecked, in about 10 minutes everyone will be dancing on the tables and someone will break their neck, for which you and the venue are responsible.
That’s why it’s critical that you set the tone.
In cases where customers threw punches before I could strangle them, one of the best ways I found to deter others from doing the same was headbutts.
Of course, there are safer and more practical options for self-defense, but nothing sends the message that you’re a relentless psychopath than the simple act of head-butting someone in their orbital bone.
Although I wouldn’t go overboard. Only for rare occasions when there are an unusually large number of criminals, bikers and murderers frequenting your establishment.
So how to use all this to your advantage on a night when you’ve probably had too much to drink, but still want to go to one more nightspot.
The first test is usually at the door when the doorman asks, “How much have you drunk tonight?”
Many people fail at this one.
Unless you’re completely drunk, the doorman doesn’t really care how much you’ve actually drunk. He or she is simply gauging your reaction to find out if you might be aggressive, argumentative, or unreasonable.
Instead of telling an obvious lie, just do this.
Look away for a brief second to show that you’re not going to be a problem, then say something like, “Oh, we’ve had a couple of drinks, but nothing serious.” How was your night?
Asking a question helps because aggressive people don’t engage in polite small talk.
And although 99.9 percent of goalkeepers do not consciously understand microexpressions or psychology (eye contact is evolutionary), it will work automatically on a subconscious level.
I mean…unless the bouncer is a total bastard.
Levi Parsons now works for Daily Mail Australia as night editor