A first-time father was left furious after discovering his wife was planning to name their son after her deceased ex-husband.
The man said his wife had been sneaky about their son’s name, which was her first husband’s middle name.
He revealed she asked if she could name the baby James, after the deceased, but he told her it didn’t feel right to name the baby after her ex.
So they settled on the name Oliver.
But he didn’t realize the meaning of the name until his sister revealed the truth to him during a family dinner.
A first-time father is furious after discovering his wife plans to name their son after her deceased ex-husband.
I told them (the family) about the name we chose. His sister then said “oh, so like James?” and I was confused, so his sister said, ‘Well, that was James’ middle name, wasn’t it?'” he wrote in a post that has now been deleted.
“After they all left, I told my wife I was tired of her trying to push her late husband into our lives like that. She said we already agreed on Oliver. I told her that I would not sign the birth certificate if she gave him the name of her ex-partner,” he wrote.
He added that the family was torn over the name and that it was linked to the woman’s first love.
“She says she’s insensitive, her mother says I should drop it because it was only a middle name. His sister says it’s weird to name the baby after James in any scenario.
The Reddit community sided with the dad-to-be and said it was a mistake for his wife to suggest the name without context.
“If you want to move on and build a life with someone new, then you have to commit to it. If you don’t, it’s incredibly cruel in many ways to your new partner.
“I’m not saying she should erase her first husband’s memory, but naming your child after him is a bit much,” one person wrote.
Others were more brutal in their approach to the situation
“Go away, let the dead husband carry the name and responsibilities if he can rise from the grave,” one person wrote.
“If she’s not ready to let him go then she shouldn’t be in a relationship or have a child with anyone else,” another said.
Others said the conflict was grounds for divorce.
But a few sided with the woman.
“He’s dead, she still loves him,” one man said.
“I mean it’s not like she ended their relationship and it’s not like they broke up he died so that makes sense to me,” another agreed.
Others asked him to “compromise” and accept James or Oliver as his middle name.
The man revealed that the woman’s first husband died suddenly eight years ago.
She was pregnant with their daughter at the time but tragically suffered a miscarriage.
Another man complained that his wife had wanted to do the same thing despite losing her husband 15 years earlier.
When he told her he understood why she wanted to name the baby after her first love, he didn’t feel comfortable, she turned on him.
She told him that he was jealous and insecure about his feelings for a dead man, which he felt was unfair to say.
“Her picture is on our family photo wall, we visit her grave together sometimes, her parents still come to visit my wife sometimes. She still has her wedding ring from their wedding (she doesn’t wear it though) and wears a necklace he bought her. I agree with all of that,” he said.
People sided with him and said his wife must see the big picture.