A sperm donor wondered if he was wrong to refuse a relationship with his biological son.
The US-based man took to Reddit for advice on whether he had acted maliciously by not wanting to connect with his child.
He donated sperm when he was younger in an effort to help other people start a family when he wasn’t ready to start one.
At the time, he never thought an ancestry website would provide a link to him, but that’s exactly how his biological son managed to track him down.
Now, Reddit users have turned to the comments section to advise the father on whether to establish a relationship with his son, despite the original post having since been deleted.
An anonymous user has taken to Reddit for advice on whether he was wrong for turning down a relationship with his son over sperm donation after showing up on his doorstep.
The message explained that the child had managed to reach his father through his cousins through the ancestry website.
The cousins then went behind his back and gave the son private information about his biological father.
They communicated with the child and encouraged a sense of hope in him.
Not only that, but the cousins also shamed the father for not wanting to come into contact with his son, despite his initial wishes.
Eventually, this caused the child to go to his biological father’s house.
But the father wasted this opportunity to connect.
The Reddit user believes his family members overstepped their bounds by responding against his will.
It is believed that the son, who had been raised by two mothers, failed to inform his non-biological parents which posed a potential risk to his safety due to the sensitive nature of the situation.
Not only that, but the Reddit user’s fiancée is currently pregnant, so he’s trying to make life as stress-free as possible.
Reddit users flocked to the comments to help the confused dad, and most sided with the dad.
One said, “I’m sorry you’re dealing with this. My suggestion is to block them both and move on. You don’t owe them anything.
“It’s hard on the kid, I’m sure. But that’s his problem to solve in therapy. Biology does not make a family. You helped someone else start a family and that should be important to them.
A second user added, “You are not a dad. You are a sperm donor. I guess it’s your cousins who are fueling these kids’ fantasies by romanticizing your involvement as something more than it actually was.
“I would very clearly lay down the law to your cousins if this is going to be an ongoing fight. Arming yourself strongly to become a father thanks to a sperm donation you made when you were a child is simply cruel.
A third wrote: “You donated sperm and it was anonymous. You are not a father and you have no responsibility with this child.
“Your cousins are major AHs and I don’t think they actually see the situation correctly.”
Another said: “You are absolutely right: you were a sperm donor in a clinic, you weren’t helping friends have a baby and you weren’t abandoning the mother of this child.
“Before the DNA tests, you assured that it was anonymous. It turns out that anonymity isn’t guaranteed because of things like 23&me. You may need to discuss this with a lawyer.
