I tracked down one of my online trolls – she wasn’t the ‘Mean Girl’ I expected…but a 71 year old GRANDMA

As someone who has founded businesses that rely on the online world, I am no stranger to being duped; it has become an essential part of my daily life.

I’m Lisa Johnson – a global business strategist, a Sunday Times bestselling author and a 47-year-old mother of twins who went from £35,000 in debt to £20 million in turnover in seven years – and I teach others how to should too.

My childhood and young adulthood were not a particularly happy time. Relentless bullying led to underachievement in school and zero confidence in myself, which resulted in some less than positive life choices.

So it would stand to reason that the hateful online comments from the small troll collection (for those lucky enough not to know what a troll is, it’s an online bully) that I seem to be acquiring would get to me, opening old wounds and causing painful memories.

When I started my business about eight years ago, there was some truth to this, as it was a shock to begin with. ‘Why are these people mean to me? They’ve never met me!’

But it didn’t take long for me to realize that these comments had no bearing on what I did or whether or not I was successful. There’s a quote I came across a while ago that really puts the little trolls into perspective, and it’s simply this:

‘You will never be criticized by someone who does more than you. You always get criticism from someone who does less.’

No one who lives a successful life or feels truly happy about themselves is going to take the time to post nasty comments about someone else, and so I’ve taken a pragmatic stance based on the fact that what other people think of me is actually nothing . of my company.

In theory, this was a great attitude to embrace, and I can honestly say that the comments now make me chuckle more than they upset me. I also work with a company to have the comments printed on merchandise!

But I’m also intrigued by who would take time out of their lives to post hurtful comments online.

What was their reason for that? Did they feel better after writing them? Are they angry about something else and using me as a scapegoat? Are they friendless and does a like or comment make them feel noticed?

The most aggressive incident took place in a very well-known online chat group aimed at female parents, where they cover a variety of everyday topics such as parenting, cooking and hurling horrible comments at random people they instantly dislike. based solely on their social media profile.

Suffice to say, there was one particular participant whose comments seemed to become increasingly extreme.

At first she seemed to be fairly objective about the things being posted about me, but as it grew and the severity of what was said escalated, her cruelty and her bitterness seemed to grow with it.

She commented with conviction on each topic, citing personal encounters and interactions with me that supported each argument and painted an increasingly horrific picture of me as a person and as a business owner.

I couldn’t pass it up, and when this particular trollfest got out of hand, I decided to turn on my private detective mode and find out who this ring leader, head mudslinger, and all-around mean girl really was. .

So I did some research and eventually found out who it was (which wasn’t that hard because she gave away enough information in her comments).

Now I had a name and an email address and I sent a polite message about the things she had said and asked if she would be willing to call so we could talk more deeply and I could find out exactly what was going on. the hand was. it was about me that irritated her so much.

Surprisingly, she agreed (I assume because she thought I would swear), and as I dialed her number on FaceTime and waited for her to answer, I got images of a feisty woman, full of attitude and strong opinions. not afraid to speak them out to show the world what she really stood for and why ‘people like me’ had to be taken down.

What I actually got was a 71 year old lady with knitting on her lap and pictures of her grandchildren on the mantel behind her.

She was open and honest and I believe she was somewhat perplexed by the way things had escalated so quickly.

I asked her if she had anything against me personally. She replied, on the contrary, at the beginning of the post she thought I seemed like a decent person, and had started posting fairly positive messages, but when the negativity within the group raised the bar, she got ‘carried away’ by it and started participating.

Whenever she posted something mean, other people in the group (probably the real leaders) would agree and applaud her, and she found herself caught in a vicious cycle where each comment drew her more attention and made her feel like an important member to be of the group. the group was so attractive that she virtually forgot what she was commenting on. It seemed like she just wanted to fit in, and through the united hatred of yours truly, she did.

She had no idea if what she said was causing unrest elsewhere; this was not the intention of her comment.

And so she apologized and assured me that she wasn’t normally like that and that she wouldn’t make a similar mistake again.

Ending where we started: trolling doesn’t make me lose sleep, but what this story and especially my conversation with this lady has done is made me reassess the who and why of trolling.

Of course, there will be countless different agendas for those who become involved in online character assassination, but those anonymous critics are unlikely to be who we expect them to be, and their reasons may also surprise us.

My final thought is simple. Everyone has an opinion, and it’s great to discuss different points of view, but if you wouldn’t say something to someone standing right in front of you, then it’s probably wise not to say it on social media.

Lisa Johnson is a global business strategist who runs That Strategy Co, helping ambitious people create passive and semi-passive income streams.