I spent 10 days at a nudist campsite in France, where even the staff is naked: that’s how it was (including the “dressing room rules”)

So what is it like to stay at a naturist campsite?

I just returned from ten days in CHM Montalivet on the Atlantic coast of southwestern France, about an hour and a half drive from Bordeaux, in the Médoc region.

“CHM” stands for “Centro Hélio-Marin”, which roughly translates to “sun-sea centre”. We’d probably say ‘Spa’, but here (thankfully) there are no Kiss-Me-Quick hats or stone sticks.

It is a sprawling 200-hectare campsite dotted with robust maritime pines and acacias, with more than 3,000 accommodations, including chalets of various sizes and types and plenty of sunny or shady pitches for those bringing a tent or motorhome. .

At the western end, about a kilometer from the entrance, is a long sandy beach and in the middle there is practically everything you could want for a perfect holiday.

The only thing that sets it apart from any other vacation or camping spot anywhere in the world is that you will see naked people. Many of them. Buy a baguette, a bag of apples or a bottle of wine in the well-stocked ‘Spar’ shop, walk or cycle enjoying the relaxed atmosphere, have a latte in one of the pastry shops, enjoy a glass of wine in a terrace. , enjoying dinner with friends in one of the many restaurants, dancing to live music in one of the bars, swimming in one of the pools or sunbathing on that wonderful and uncrowded beach.

In the middle of summer, 18,000 people can be found there every day. More than 2,000 people of all nationalities also live here, although French regulations establish that it cannot be their main residence.

No clothing required, anywhere.

The site has been around for over 70 years and the spirit and values ​​of those pioneering days are still on the agenda, especially when it comes to encouraging guests to forget about what might be in their wardrobe.

Even some staff are naked, or partially naked, even while working.

Full nudity is mandatory in most common areas when weather permits. But in practice, for various reasons, you won’t find everyone naked 24/7.

Many people like to dress up for dinner, for example.

If you’re here, chances are you’re one of the naked people; don’t flinch. It’s the easiest thing to participate in, even if you’ve never done it before.

Countless newcomers decide to throw away their bikini or swimsuits forever, after having had the experience.

It is often said that 15 minutes are all it takes to forget that you are naked and among people in full skin. I would go further and suggest that nudity becomes so common that it is invisible.

And it’s far from full.

There is so much space and so much to do that people are spread out. Both pools have plenty of sun loungers and the water park’s sunbathing area, with its slides and rock landscape, takes up more space than the circular pool.

I rented a bicycle, for about £30 a week, and spent a lot of time walking the many paths that criss-cross the site, between houses and chalets; next to hedges and flower beds; among the trees in the camping areas; to the beach to spend an hour relaxing on the sand and then swimming in the ocean; to a bar to have a drink alone or with new friends; sunbathe or dive into the pools; check what restaurant you could choose for that night; or visit one of the shops to stock up on cheese, wine and suntan lotion.

Bliss, and my Apple watch confirmed that I was doing well in more physical aspects too.

It’s hard to tear yourself away, but there’s plenty to do and see off-site.

The small coastal town of Montalivet is just a few minutes’ drive away. In fact, in the summer months, there is a gate at CHM that leads tourists (dressed for the occasion, of course) down a path through a thick forest into the city.

Is there anything as vibrant and colorful as a French street market?

This is open daily and includes a covered section containing a delicious variety of cheeses of all shapes and colors; piles of fruits and vegetables, including smooth-skinned scarlet tomatoes, bunches of purple garlic, and plump oranges; artfully arranged fish and shellfish: freshly caught and whole, with bright eyes staring or prepared for cooking; piles of crusty bread with thin baguettes arranged vertically; and a meat counter that would put Harrods to shame.

Outside, in the sun, there were more.

I happily wandered through a group of stalls where there were rails upon rails of clothing, paintings, hats, bags, trinkets, baskets full of twisted, gray-shelled oysters, household goods, souvenirs, bowls of shiny, moist olives and even more cheeses, everyone happy. They rubbed shoulders with each other.

A persuasive shopkeeper offered him a sample of Ossau-Iraty, a sheep’s milk cheese, and making a spontaneous purchase after the tasting was an easy decision to make.

Stopping for lunch here was a no-brainer. I sat with the view of the waves crashing on the sandy beach of ‘O Dunes de Monta’ as I made my way through a large plate of cold cuts, which, come to think of it, was probably for two. A glass of vin blanc made it go down easily.

I returned to my modern cabin with a large terrace, kitchen, bathroom with shower and toilet. The site also has spotlessly clean showers, toilets and facilities for campers to wash dishes. There is also a laundry. And a hairdresser. You can choose from over 10 restaurants/bars with menus ranging from burgers, pizzas, crepes and cakes to something much more fine dining.

For those who want to put more effort into dining, a butcher shop and kitchen establishment with ready-made dishes to take home and cook always have queues of bare bottoms making their choice.

An open-air cinema, a complete entertainment program and sports coming out of your ears, complete the picture.

It is located in one of the most important wine regions in the world and it would be a mistake not to take a tour of a vineyard, or more than one if you have the time.

The choice in the Médoc is enormous.

I booked one at the ‘Grand Cru’ Chateau Haut-Bages Libéral, just outside Paulliac.

After giving myself time to leisurely drive for an hour to take in the vineyard-filled landscape (I saw that I would pass the famous Chateau Lafite), it rained heavily and progress was slow. Even slower when in front of me was a carriage, a horse box and (two) tractors.

I walked through the Chateau reception door full of profuse apologies (in my best French) and acknowledging that I had probably missed the tour, only to discover that I was the only guest.

Léa was the perfect guide, an intern who would soon finish her master’s degree before heading to New Zealand to immerse herself in the world of wine making and selling.

Knowledgeable, enthusiastic and with excellent English, we inspect vines overflowing with purple fruits a couple of weeks before harvest, jars and containers of different shapes and sizes – among them imposing porcelain amphorae, commissioned by the Château de Limoges – and barrel after wine barrel waiting its turn to fill a bottle. Of course, a tasting followed. All very good value for around £20.

I channeled my inner Robbie Williams at outdoor karaoke that night, and watched and listened to the audience singing French songs I didn’t know. A trio of thirty-something German girls performed ‘Super Trouper’ with well-rehearsed moves.

I was looking forward to more biking, beach days, swimming, outdoor dining, and even more enjoyment of the escape from the daily grind.

A naturist vacation is one of the most peaceful and relaxing you can enjoy. And here at CHM, like in many similar places, you feel totally immersed in the green surroundings and natural surroundings.

Neighbors offer snacks and they are easily accepted. At night, the stars appear like glitter spread on a black fabric over the silhouettes of the pine trees and the only sound is the crash of waves on the beach.

Best of all, the presence of like-minded, calm, non-judgmental people who have discovered a wonderful way to bring intense joy into their lives (whatever the world says about “private parts”) allows you to recharge your batteries. as never before. before.

Andrew Welch is a spokesman for British naturism (bn.org.uk), which hosts a variety of events throughout the year, indoors and outdoors.