A mother-to-be has questioned whether she is wrong for refusing to share the name of the baby she chose with her sister.
The anonymous mom-to-be, 38, took to Reddit to reveal her estranged relationship with her 36-year-old brother.
She explained that she and her sister had drifted apart after her brother used baby names she had saved for her own children.
Now, in a Reddit thread titled ‘Am I the idiot?’The mom-to-be asked a social media user for advice after she rejected her sister’s request to reveal her baby’s name for fear she would take it again.
An expectant mother wonders if she is wrong for refusing to share the name of the baby she chose with her sister (file image)
She explained that while she has struggled to get pregnant for more than a decade, her sister hasn’t had any problems.
‘I am (38f) pregnant with my first and probably only child. My sister (36f) is also pregnant, but this is her third child and this baby is born several years after her last child, who is eight years old.
‘I struggled with fertility issues for many years. I couldn’t get pregnant despite trying since I was 24 years old.
‘We underwent numerous tests, but no clear reason for this was ever found. “We tried to take breaks between attempts, we tried fertility drugs over the last few years and finally last year we underwent IVF which was a success for us,” he said.
She noted that despite not having a baby, she has been given nicknames to quit smoking for some time.
He noted that when his sister gave birth and couldn’t decide on a name for her baby, he decided to use the nicknames his brother had chosen.
‘You might be wondering what this has to do with my baby’s name. Well, let me explain. My husband and I chose a boy’s and a girl’s name practically from the moment we started trying for a baby. These were names we promised to use every time we had a baby and had planned to have at least 2 children.
‘Those names remained “the names” throughout. But when my sister was pregnant with her first child, she and her husband had a hard time agreeing on a name. She mentioned my and my husband’s chosen names once during my pregnancy and said how lucky we were to have agreed.
The anonymous mom-to-be, 38, took to Reddit to reveal her estranged relationship with her 36-year-old brother.
‘Then, when her daughter was born, she decided to use the girl’s name that my husband and I had chosen. And she confessed that this is how the name was decided. She said her husband liked the name we chose and she didn’t think it was bad, so she decided it would be better for them to use it so her baby could have a name.
‘She told me not to look angry (because I was actually emotional when she said this) and told me that at least the name would be used. Then when she was born, her son used the name we had chosen for the same reason; “They couldn’t agree on another name,” the mom-to-be said.
After that incident, the two sisters grew further and further apart until they stopped speaking to each other.
‘She implied quite clearly that she hoped I would never have children to use that name. Then, a couple of years after her son was born, she made the comment that we agreed so easily that we could find another name if it worked, implying that we couldn’t/shouldn’t use names anymore,’ she added.
For her soon-to-be-born baby, the mother said she had confused the names she had originally chosen.
However, he revealed that he refused to share them with his brother.
‘We ended up mixing our boy choice and our girl choice for this baby. They both had a unisex name and we decided, since we loved all four names, mixing them up wasn’t a big change. My sister won’t like this. But honestly, we don’t see each other much anymore.
‘He’s only gotten closer now because we’re both pregnant at the same time and he’s asked us repeatedly about the name we’ve chosen. I have refused to tell him. But my two brothers know it. They thought she should have used the original name as intended and given the middle finger to our sister. But they also understand why we choose to mix them,” she wrote.
At the end of the post, she questioned whether she was being ‘petty’ for not revealing the name to her sisters.
People then flooded the comments section and rushed to his defense while criticizing his brother.
People then flooded the comments section and rushed to his defense while criticizing his brother.
One person said: ‘NTA. Her sister needs to check her rights… couldn’t she find meaningful names for her own children? She used the names you were determined to use and justified it by saying “well, it’s not like you can use them.” Do you have a history of insensitivity and tactlessness? I mean, no one has the right to name their child, but you and your partner decided on those names and you were going through hell trying to have a child together. Does she just come in and act like she did them both a favor by using those names so they don’t go to waste? Can’t she see how horrible and insensitive she has been?
‘I agree with your brothers on this, but I’m glad that you and your partner are happy with your new decisions. It’s probably best that they spend a minimum of time with their aunt and her cousins. All the best with your new baby. Congratulations.’
Someone else wrote: “No I thought the same thing, my sister can’t be trusted.”
“Please give him a fake name you would never want and have him steal it while you keep it safe,” another person added.
Another user added: “NTA and if she’s the first one I would seriously consider telling her a fake name that you would never want for your own child, just to see if she figures that one out for you too.”
One person wrote: “NTA is none of your business and I wouldn’t be surprised if you wanted to use the name for your child (or something similar).”
‘NTA’. She stole your babies’ names before and she will do it again. Also, her comments about you not having children are downright disgusting. I wouldn’t even talk to her anymore. Baby names are very personal and private. My brothers never shared their babies’ names and no one ever got angry. It is respecting privacy. Only my brother shared it once, with instant regret, due to stupid comments from his MIL,” another user commented.