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I mopped around the garden! Bumble the knee deep into the manure as it fills its time

I mopped around the garden! Bumble knee deep in ripe manure while filling his time during coronavirus lockdown

  • He has been busy in the garden applying the best Tricky Dickie manure
  • Sky Sports commentator should have treated England in Sri Lanka
  • Dom Bess was the man of the match when England came out on top in Virtual First Test
  • Coronavirus symptoms: what are they and should you see a doctor?

It’s all pretty surreal now, isn’t it? It has certainly gone fast since the last time we spoke and I hope everyone stays good and does the right thing.

What have I done? Well, gardening has come to the fore and my wife, Vipers, is an avid viewer of the QVC television channel where Tricky Dickie Jackson is their gardener expert.

Dickie’s latest special offer is super manure – and I can confirm it’s really good. So to get my exercise, I turned the yard around and applied the best of Tricky Dickie. It has a pretty pungent smell that Dickie says resembles dark chocolate, but I can’t say Cadbury’s Bournville came to mind when I smelled it!

Bumble has been busy in the garden this week and is applying Tricky Dickie's best manure

Bumble has been busy in the garden this week applying the best manure from Tricky Dickie

I also played a round of golf and was just getting my game started when my club, Bramall Park, had to close. Our group was extremely sensible. Nobody touched anyone else’s, there was no flag in the hole we could touch and we kept a long distance from each other. I was also not allowed in the clubhouse because I am over 70 – and that was fine.

At such times, we all need a little community spirit. Our friends Phil and Shelley were great at handing over our supplies. And my buddy Matt from Fleetwood was an absolute gem in delivering delicious fresh fish straight from the boat.

Matt sells his products from a mobile van around Cheshire and he was dropped off at 6am on Wednesday. It is people like him and his one-man company from Ocean Wave that keep you going at the moment.

Sky Sports commentator should have been in Sri Lanka this week for the first test

Sky Sports commentator should have been in Sri Lanka this week for the first test

Sky Sports commentator should have been in Sri Lanka this week for the first test

We still need to have a little bit of fun, dear reader, and there has been plenty on social media to give me a few laughs. What about that boy who decided to have a net in his house? He was dressed in only his underpants and all his cricket gear and when he took a quick single it became clear that he had soaked his kitchen floor so he could slip into his ground!

I couldn’t resist giving him my referee judgment by raising my finger because he didn’t keep his bat on the ground and I pointed out that he would run in the middle of the field, so that’s five penalties for the opponent. And he had way too much advertising on his pants, in violation of ICC regulations, so that’s a bummer! He has to be careful not to get more or else he can get out of the series!

Of course I should have been in Sri Lanka this week, so I was grateful to Sky statistician Benedict Bermange for organizing a virtual first test in Galle. And it was England’s victory on the last day with Dom Bess man of the match. I’m now looking forward to the second virtual test in Colombo to see if our boys can win the series!

Dom Bess was named man of the match when England came out on top in a virtual first test in Galle

Dom Bess was named man of the match when England came out on top in a virtual first test in Galle

Dom Bess was named man of the match when England came out on top in a virtual first test in Galle

Don’t miss the fantastic messages from Jack Brooks of Somerset, a great county track character and a great boy who ran a quiz on Twitter to guess the cricketer using clues he gave. Really smart things. Bring them on, Jack.

I better go back to my yard and then Vipers and I will sort out a few games for tonight. Snakes and ladders is a timeless classic. I don’t care how old you are, give it a try.

And I’m eagerly looking forward to an online delivery of Totopoly, a horse racing board game where, believe it or not, you can bet! That’s my racing solution sorted.

So keep yourself busy, do what the experts tell you to do and don’t forget to take your social distance or, as we call it Sky, do a Nasser Hussain.

Until next time…

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