When my daughter told me about her future mother-in-law’s latest cruel trick, at least she had stopped crying.
Although I could have cried while listening to the story of what Jackie had done to my darling girl.
Kim and her fiancé, Luke, had gone to a family birthday party at Jackie’s house. First, after Kim politely declined a piece of cake, Jackie asked her, ‘Do you think you might have an eating disorder?’
If only that had been the worst. An hour later, Luke’s uncle, who arrived late, walked right up to Kim and exclaimed loudly, “It’s a change to see you in some clothes!”
It turned out that Jackie had been taking screenshots of Kim’s bikini photos from her private Instagram account. Jackie then forwarded them to her relatives with the caption: “Look what Kim hasn’t worn today.”
Kim, 27, learned all of this from the girlfriend of Luke’s younger brother, another person Jackie treats badly, after she took her to the garden to explain.
Kim was devastated. She gets along well with Luke’s other female relatives, so she was surprised that they had been included in his humiliation.
Hurt and embarrassed, she ran upstairs crying and locked herself in the bathroom, where she sent Luke a text that said, “Take me home NOW.”
Jackie is your archetypal difficult mother-in-law; a walking cliché who has made a hobby of putting my daughter down since she dated her son four years ago, writes Linda (file image)
It must be recognized that he took her out of there directly. But he challenged his mother and made her apologize? No!
Kim told how irritating it was to listen to Jackie in the dining room as they left, acting as if nothing had happened.
I wanted to turn around and take down that woman’s block. But Kim has ordered me and her father not to get involved; It would only make things worse, he says, and we have to respect his wishes.
Jackie is your archetypal difficult mother-in-law; a walking cliché who has made belittling and shaming my daughter a pastime since she was reunited with her son four years ago.
What started as coldness has turned into open acts of war, even though Kim, a veterinary nurse, has always been polite and kind to her.
When Kim and Luke told him they were engaged, he couldn’t hide his dismay.
“He looked like he was chewing on a wasp when he faked a smile,” Kim told me.
Jackie often walks into the home Kim and Luke share and stares at the carpet. ‘Is your vacuum cleaner broken, Kim?’ he’ll ask (note how he leaves Luke out of this) as he brushes the imaginary dirt off his chair before sitting down.
The woman turns 60 this week. However, she often acts more like a mean girl on the playground than the soon-to-retire office manager.
“That’s an interesting haircut,” he exclaimed after Kim got bangs. Then he added: ‘Don’t worry, it will grow.’
Family gatherings are always stressful. If Kim wears something that hugs her figure, Jackie looks her up and down disapprovingly.
If Kim shows up dressed in something more casual, he’ll say, ‘Do you have a day off?’
It’s a strange dynamic when another woman is thrown into your orbit all because your daughter fell in love with her son. Fortunately, my husband and I only have to suffer their company once a year for Christmas drinks.
The most frustrating thing is that Kim, who is beautiful, kind-hearted, and cunning, could do so much better than Luke. Don’t get me wrong, he’s sweet, kind, and great company. He is doing well as a section manager in the supermarket chain where he works.
While it wouldn’t win any pageants, it makes my daughter laugh. He would also be a good father if they had children. And Kim loves him, so for his sake it’s important that she makes him feel welcome.
Where he lets himself down (and, more importantly, Kim) is in the way he allows Jackie to get away with such egregious behavior. Luke is a weakling, the son of a 29-year-old mother, who would rather step on hot coals than bother his mother.
That’s why she claims not to listen to comments like the one she made about Kim’s appetite. Or he says that his mother has always been irritable, so it’s nothing personal to Kim, and that her insults just don’t register anymore.
But Kim described scenes in which Jackie criticized a meal she had just prepared, while sitting next to Luke, and he said nothing.
I honestly don’t understand what twisted psychology makes Jackie think her behavior towards Kim is okay. Perhaps she is jealous that this beautiful young woman now has her son’s heart, especially since she is a widow.
Recently, he even tried to involve me in his twisted power games. ‘What would your mother say if she saw the state of this kitchen?’ he asked Kim once, after showing up unannounced and finding dirty pots in the sink.
Even before the upset over those bikini photos, Jackie had suggested that I should probably object to her posting similar photos from other vacations.
I hope she mentions that at Christmas, when I tell her that if my bikini photos looked half as good as Kim’s, I’d display them on a poster.
When I asked Kim why she doesn’t confront her, she shrugs and says she doesn’t want a fight. But ultimately, it could be Luke who pays the price. They haven’t set a wedding date and Kim may still decide that her mother is too much trouble.
If that day ever comes, as upsetting as a broken engagement is and as much as I miss Luke, I’ll love to tell Jackie exactly what I think of her.
Linda Webb is a pseudonym. All names have been changed.