A woman was left “devastated” after discovering her boyfriend of eight years had written a pros and cons list about her personality, which may remind many of the plot of the sitcom Friends.
Laura Frances Heitzman, 30, who lives in Manchester, said she found the list, which included 40 “horrible” reasons not to be with her, on the dining room table of their shared house.
Laura and her ex split in May, two weeks before she found the offensive list on the table, apparently undisguised. He has drawn parallels between his discovery and a plot in the second series of Friends, when Ross makes a list of pros and cons between dating Rachel and staying with his current girlfriend, Julie.
After reading the 11 “impersonal” pros versus the 40 cons that “attacked her character”, all printed on an A4 page, Laura said she had “never felt so bad”.
On TikTok, she posted a video of herself sitting at McDonald’s with the tongue-in-cheek caption, “POV: Your ex writes a pros and cons list about you.”
Pictured is Laura Frances Heitzman, 30, who lives in Manchester. She said she was “devastated” by the cruel list, which included 40 scammers.
Laura had broken up with her ex for two weeks in May when she discovered the notebook discovered on the ex-couple’s table.
Users took to the comments to praise Laura as an ‘icon’ for her response.
Choosing not to confront her ex, the artist channeled her anguish into creativity and sells posters with “positive affirmations” to inspire other women.
He now believes finding the list was “worth it” because it “affirmed” why the relationship ended and he plans to ceremoniously burn it.
Laura said: ‘I’ve never felt so bad about myself after reading it. It broke me completely.
‘I broke up with him because I didn’t feel loved and reading it confirmed to me that that was the case because how could someone who loved you write something like that? It just reduced me to a list.
Another reason for the breakup was because his ex-partner forgot their eighth anniversary.
‘It was horrible. Anyway it was pretty fresh and I still loved it. It wasn’t like I broke up with him because I wanted to. I really wanted it to work. It’s the worst thing I’ve ever read.
‘It was on the table, hanging from his notebook. “I don’t want to go through people’s belongings but something told me, I read this and I opened it and I started crying,” he added.
Fortunately, she had a strong support network that supported her during the difficult time.
In the American sitcom Friends, Ross writes a pros and cons list to help him decide whether to be with Rachel or Julie, sparking outrage among the characters.
Choosing not to confront her ex, the artist channeled her anguish into creativity and sells posters with ‘positive affirmations’ to inspire other women.
‘My mum was coming anyway and I literally cried in her arms. It was horrible. She was amazing. She just said, “You deserve so much better,” she said.
‘On the professional (list) there were 11 points. (They were all) very impersonal.
‘The disadvantages were almost 40 points. It was an A4 sheet front and back. (There were some) really horrible ones.’
Since finding the list almost six months ago, she has said it helped her “move on” and begin to heal.
Laura said: ‘Looking back I realized it was probably a good thing because I saw it and reassured myself that I had done the right thing.
“I started moving forward from that moment. I knew I could never go back.
“Sometimes when you break up with someone, there’s always that little nagging feeling in the back of your mind of ‘should I get back together?’ Have I done the right thing?
‘It really made me realize it was the right thing to do. I know that my mental health is not a burden. I know I’m a great person.
‘I know if I can get through that, I can literally get through anything.
“My whole world fell apart, but now I’m much happier. It was all worth it just to be where I am now.”
The Bachelorette admitted she never confronted her ex about the list, but she took it with her when she moved out of their shared home and plans to burn it down.
On TikTok, she posted a video of herself sitting at McDonald’s with the tongue-in-cheek caption, “POV: Your ex writes a pros and cons list about you.”
Fortunately, Laura had a strong support network that supported her during the difficult time.
‘If I can do it, everyone can. It was horrible but you get over it. It’s only temporary,’ said the artist.
‘I just knew that if I had told him I had seen him, he would most likely make me feel bad for checking his lists.
“I had already broken up with him and he knew I wasn’t going to want to get back together, so he was really confused about why he wrote it. Maybe it was to make himself feel better?
‘I don’t know if he wanted me to find it, which is another reason why I didn’t want to tell him I had seen it.
‘I took it when I moved. It was a way of telling him that I had seen him without telling him that I had seen him.
‘And as a reminder that I read this horrible list and I’m fine. I need to let it go and I’m going to burn it. “I think it will be a really cathartic experience.”
The artist revealed that her work has helped her develop a positive mindset and she wants to use her business to similarly inspire other women to overcome heartbreak.
Laura said: ‘Art has always been therapeutic for me anyway. My friend told me, “This time it’s really horrible, but you’re going to create a lot of cool art from it.”
‘When I got into that headspace it was so lovely. I had been feeling really bad for a few months and hadn’t had time to even think about creating.
Since finding the list almost six months ago, she has said it helped her “move on” and begin to heal. Laura pictured standing in front of her artwork.
Another reason for the breakup was because his ex-partner forgot their eighth anniversary.
“I never thought at that moment that I would feel happy again. When you are in the middle of heartbreak, you literally cannot see beyond it, it is impossible. It’s the worst feeling in the world.
‘If I can do it, everyone can. It was horrible but you get over it. It’s only temporary.
‘When relationships end and your ex-partner treats you badly and unfairly, it is always a blessing. We all feel better.
‘The collection is positive affirmations with a nice positive message behind them instead of a bitter one. It really helped me get into that mindset too.
“Just thinking about other people having that on their walls and feeling good when they see it and reminding themselves ‘maybe this is a tough day, but you’ll get through it and things will be okay.'”
“I feel really grateful that I was able to do that and connect with other women through it.”
Users took to the comments to praise Laura for her response to the list. One user said: ‘Icon, legend and the moment.’
Another user said: “Losing my ex’s dead weight was clearly a winner.”
A third user said: ‘Thank the Lord you left him and his sad little gray life so you can blossom and be the sunshine you are!’