A man argues with his girlfriend after buying her a set of lingerie as a gift – and no one can agree on who is in the wrong.
The boyfriend describes himself as an avid “gift giver” and was looking online for inspiration on what to get his girlfriend when he came up with the lingerie idea.
He hoped this naughty gift would help boost his partner’s confidence, but instead she saw it as him buying a “gift for himself” to “fulfill one of his fantasies.”
The 19-year-old said he and his girlfriend have a great relationship and he “loves her a lot”, but she sometimes struggles with confidence and feeling good about herself .
“I regularly tell her how pretty she looks and give her your usual compliments to cheer her up, which she appreciates,” he explained in a post on Reddit.
A man is in a sticky situation with his girlfriend after buying her lingerie as a gift. She thought the gift was more intended to allow her to “realize one of her fantasies.”
“I would say my love language is buying gifts and I usually give her flowers or little things that I see she would like.”
The beloved boy thought his gifts were too similar and wanted to shake things up with something different, so he turned to the internet.
“I was looking online for gift ideas for a loved one and saw the lingerie idea. I thought it might be perfect,” he said.
“My girlfriend usually wears more ‘plain’ underwear, so I thought I could get her something that would boost her confidence and make her look great, while also having the benefit of seeing her inside.”
However, when the woman opened her gift, she was not impressed.
“His reaction was not what I expected. She looked surprised, even disgusted, and asked me why I had bought her this. I explained to her that it was to make her feel confident/sexy, and it was something I thought she would enjoy,” the man said.
“She responded extremely bluntly, saying that the only reason I received this was to ‘fulfill a fantasy of mine’ and that it was a gift ‘for me, not for her.’ put it back in the bag and it’s just in the corner of his room.
The woman was “distant” towards her boyfriend for the rest of the evening before he tried to return to the subject.
The boyfriend thought the gift would help his partner feel more confident, but she found the gesture “weird” and she can wear all the underwear she wants.
“When I tried to talk to her, she said she thought it was a weird gift and that she could wear all the underwear she wanted, and that it was something she should buy,” he said.
“I think it’s a pretty normal gift to buy a partner. Sure, seeing her in it was a bonus, but I definitely wouldn’t say it was a gift “for me”, even if it still annoys her.
The man asked if he was the asshole in the situation, which sparked hundreds of responses with a litany of differing opinions.
Some sided with the man saying his girlfriend should have been grateful for the gift.
“He bought his girlfriend a gift that he thought they would BOTH enjoy. He had no bad intentions. She didn’t like the gift, which was good. You can return it,” one user said.
“You could never have predicted this very extreme reaction. I feel like she could have communicated her feelings much better than that. It’s okay if she doesn’t like the gift, but giving you the silent treatment and treating you like a weird pervert for buying him damn underwear is weird,” a second wrote.
Others thought the girlfriend was right that the gift was clearly more for him than her.
“Men buy women’s lingerie so men can see women in lingerie. If a woman wants lingerie for herself, she will buy it for herself. And then there were your condescending comments that she needed help to feel confident and sexy, your ulterior motives are pretty clear and blatant,” one person responded.
Another agreed: “If it’s never something she indicated to you that she wanted, or something you’ve already discussed, and it’s something you want her to wear, this Seems to tick all the boxes of a gift for you rather than her.”
“It can send the message ‘I wish you were sexier,’ which can be the opposite message that someone lacking self-confidence needs.”
“What would you have done if she had accepted the lingerie and worn it and become more confident, but never let you see her in it?” Do you still think this gift is not for you? asked a third.
However, regardless of side, most people agreed that the ill-advised gift was “more ignorant than malicious.”