An expert has uncovered the common dangers of online dating, with many focusing on ways to end the relationship, including ‘ghosting’, ‘breadcrumbing’ and ‘orbitalizing’.
According Danielle Sukenikpsychotherapist at the University of Colorado Anschutz Medical Campus, the measures affect the mental health of online daters.
“Given the prevalence of these behaviors, it’s likely that you have employed some of these dating tactics yourself,” Sukenik wrote in a recent column.
The act of ghosting involves no longer speaking to a person and is done directly and suddenly, with no explanation as to why the relationship has failed.
Orbiting, although similar to ghosting, goes a step further when one person decides to stop talking to the other but continues to watch their life unfold on social media.
Browsing occurs when a person knows they are not interested in a romantic relationship with someone, but continues to flirt in an effort to keep them interested.
Danielle Sukenik, a psychotherapist at the University of Colorado Anschutz Medical Campus, explained the impacts of “ghosting,” “breadcrumbing,” and “orbiting” on the online dating scene.
Sukenik said “victims” who have experienced “breakup strategies” have noticed a huge impact on their mental health.
Montaine, who goes by ‘ohmontaine’ on TikTok, said he believes ghosting shouldn’t be done at all.
TO study 2022 In a study comparing the psychological outcomes of being ghosted, orbited, or crumbs, 176 participants were given a questionnaire about how they felt after experiencing “breakup strategies.”
Each strategy made online daters feel rejected, but ghosting specifically left people feeling left out and harshly rejected.
The study concluded that people felt their control, self-esteem and sense of belonging were “threatened.”
“Victims” who were affected by the orbit felt repercussions such as experiencing increased levels of exclusion and a threat to their “basic needs.”
“Perhaps sporadic attention softens feelings of exclusion,” Sukenik wrote.
Without knowing why a relationship ended, users are often left confused and with “unhealed psychological wounds.”
Sukenik also revealed that those who have been orbited are often left with many questions that make the person wonder if the other is still interested or attracted to them while they remain connected with them online.
“For some people, this uncertainty can be detrimental, while others find it easier to leave a relationship if they still receive some level of digital attention,” he noted.
Ghosting is done directly and suddenly, with no explanation as to why the relationship failed.
Sukenik described breadcrumbs as a person who drops “bits of flirtatious attention” to keep another interested.
He warned that some red flags that a person might be being criticized are if the other person takes an unusually long time to respond to messages, avoiding conversations related to feelings, and communicating vaguely.
“Because people who receive breadcrumbs remain in limbo longer, they experience repeated feelings of exclusion and ostracism,” Sukenik wrote.
As a way to cope with the repercussions of heartbreaking “breakup strategies,” Sukenik recommended that people take some time to focus on themselves.
To avoid the potential for “negative self-talk, anxiety and depression,” she suggested changing the narrative and making it less about what you did wrong and feeding the idea that what the other person did was “more about them.”
“Being aware of your cognitive patterns and practicing changing your narratives can help prevent online dating from wreaking havoc on your psyche,” she said.
Another user, tcmm444, who admitted to being typically a ‘ghost’, explained the back and forth that goes through his head when online dating in today’s generation.
As a way to cope with the repercussions of heartbreaking “breakup strategies,” Sukenik recommended that people take some time to focus on themselves.
Breakup strategies and the anguish that accompanies them have been well documented on social media.
Montaine, who goes by ‘ohmontaine’ on TikTik, began a video by saying: ‘If you’re going to cheat on someone, first of all, don’t do it.’
Instead, she suggested that if one person isn’t interested in another, they should “send them a little text” and let them know that they don’t see this moving forward romantically.
“Don’t make a big personal statement about how he’s an amazing person and the perfect person; he’s just not, you don’t have to do all that mumbo-jumbo,” Montaine added.
“Keep it nice and simple, you don’t have to explain too much.”
Another TikTok user, tcmm444, explained the back and forth that goes through her head when online dating in today’s generation.
She asked, ‘Is it too much to ask for a nice person who I can actually talk to about anything?’
The TikToker, who said she is usually the one who ‘ghosts’, said through her own experience that she finds it difficult to know when she is saying too much or too little to a potential partner online.
“I like to do the little things that make people happy, and I like to ask you how your day was, and I like to tell you that you look handsome, and I feel like I can’t do that,” he said. .
“Because then I say those things and I feel like I’m going to be fooled.”