Amanda Hedges will never forgive herself for “forgetting to live.”
The 31-year-old thought she would one day have plenty of time to enjoy oceanside vacations, trips to the zoo or adventures in the snack aisle at Costco.
After all, only one of his grandparents died and his impressive health record seemed to follow suit. He had never been in a hospital and hoped to live a long life.
So he “gave most of his life” to work, to worries and simply to “exist.”
Now she is dying of cancer.
The young woman from Brisbane has gioplastoma, a terminal and aggressive brain cancer.
It’s inoperable, and although she’s fighting through seemingly endless rounds of chemotherapy and radiotherapy, it won’t cure her.
“The idea is to prolong my life, the cancer will not disappear,” he told FEMAIL.
Amanda Hedges, 31, has months to live after suffering from cancer

Brisbane teen said she ‘forgot to live’ her life and wants other people to remember what’s really important
The heartbroken young woman’s cancer horror began in September when she had some mild headaches after increasing her anxiety medication.
‘I asked my psychiatrist about it. They were not severe headaches and they disappeared with Panadol,” he said.
Her psychiatrist suggested an MRI, she had never had one before and the specialist noted that it might be a good idea, given her age.
After the scan, Amanda was sitting in the waiting room when the radiologist approached her with a clipboard and told her they would have to repeat the process with contrast.
The cheerful blonde cracked a joke, but she didn’t realize that the punchline would make her world come crashing down.
“I laughed and said sarcastically ‘what did you find… a brain tumor?'” he recalled.
“And the radiologist looked at me blankly and said ‘yes.’
Amanda immediately felt the room take over her, it began to spin and then went dark.

Amanda is an only child and says she feels sorry for her mom and dad, who will have to live with their cancer diagnosis much longer than she has.

She says her friends and family have been there for her, making her realize how poorly she prioritized things sometimes.
“I was sitting in the MRI trying not to cry. Because if you cry you move and they need a clear photo,’ he said.
The next day he went to the doctor with his parents, but it was somewhat reassuring news.
“My doctor said the scans showed a mass but it had firm edges and that most brain tumors are benign,” she said.
There had been no major symptoms, so everyone was feeling confident. Amanda was told she could wait a month to be seen by a neurosurgeon in the public system, or move to the private sector and be seen the following week.
Due to her history of anxiety, she opted for the private route; he couldn’t imagine “not knowing” for weeks.
The doctor ordered a FETPET scan, a special scan that is only available in private healthcare, an EEG, and a CT scan.
Both the EEG and CT scan seemed fine. But the specialist’s scan lit up, prompting his doctor to schedule a biopsy for the following week.
“The scan showed that the tumor was active, benign tumors are not active,” he explained.
‘And if you think of scanning as a traffic light, green is good, yellow is more worrying and red is very bad. “It was all red and yellow, which meant it was very active.”
The biopsy revealed the tumor was cancerous and Amanda began seeing oncologists, first meeting with a chemotherapy specialist who talked to her about options.

She says her mother’s support and bright spark help her stay positive despite knowing she doesn’t have long to live.

The first week of radiotherapy was hard for Amanda
But those options faded a week later when he saw radiation oncologists. He had the complete biopsy results and revealed Amanda’s terminal diagnosis.
“My mom and dad were asking questions and I felt like I was shutting down,” he said.
For Amanda only one thing mattered.
‘Finally I asked “how much time do I have?” and the doctor told me maybe 15 months,” he said.
Their cancer is typically seen in “senior people” between the ages of 60 and 80, and most live three to 24 months after diagnosis.
‘I thought it would be good because I was young, I could last longer. “But my cancer is big, which means it’s been there for a while,” he said.
Amanda’s first six weeks of treatment included radiotherapy and chemotherapy and left her nauseous and breathless.
‘It finished three days before Christmas. “I was sleeping on Christmas Day,” he said.
Two weeks later, he has finally recovered enough to think about how he wants to live before he dies.
“If I had time again, I would do everything differently,” he said.
“I would book a vacation to Bali or go to a buffet, or have a beach vacation and not worry about all the little things, or money,” she said.
She has a few weeks, until January 23, to make some of her bucket list dreams come true, before she starts chemotherapy again and feels too sick and is limited by the distance she can travel from the hospital.
‘I really want to stay in a hotel on the beach and just listen to the waves and forget that I’m dying. Forget it’s me. “Be a different person for a few days and just relax and have fun,” he said.
‘I also always wanted to go back to Australia Zoo and see Robert Irwin do a show. “I saw his dad make one when I was a kid, but I always put off doing it,” she said.
And I really want to go to an all-you-can-eat buffet. I guess the hotels would have it covered,” he laughed.
With less than two weeks to go until she is given chemotherapy drugs again, she has realized that she must now live her dreams.
“I can’t do these things when I’m nauseous or going through chemotherapy every day,” she said.
Amanda has created a GoFundMe to help with their wish list and the medical costs that continue to come.
“Radiation therapy was $750 a week, the FETPET scan was $1,000, I have top-tier health insurance but it doesn’t cover everything,” he said.
“I looked for hotels on Caloundra beach, but I was surprised at what they cost – about $3,000 a week,” he said.
He is currently receiving Centrelink payments because he can no longer work and has exhausted his survivorship.
He wants young people to observe how they live their lives. And take stock of what matters.
“None of my former bosses or colleagues are sitting with me while I do chemotherapy,” he said.
‘It’s my mom, my dad and my friends who are here supporting me in this.
‘I would like to be able to live again so I can stop worrying about the little things and enjoy myself.

This image was taken after his brain biopsy, just a few weeks after his MRI.
“I would spend more time with the people I really care about, I would try harder to meet someone, have children and travel.”
Amanda also wants to go on a cruise, although she’s not allowed to leave the country due to insurance, so she’ll have to do a “three day” if she feels up to it in the future.
‘I also want to go to Sushi Train without a budget. Just take what looks good instead of mentally adding up each dish, too scared to spend $30 on sushi.’
Amanda’s condition has remained stable and her main symptoms, such as fatigue, nausea and shortness of breath, stem from treatment.
But things can go downhill at any time and when they do “it will be fast.”
“The doctors say I’ll start having seizures and that will be a sign that everything else is going to get worse,” he said.
Then she will probably go blind in her left eye and eventually her vital organs will begin to fail.
“They don’t know how long the cancer has been there or when it will start to happen, but it will happen,” he said.
‘I haven’t processed it all yet. I thought I had a lot more time.’
“I wasted 30 years of my life doing nothing and I still have cancer.”