Husband texted his female co-worker stumbling that he was holding hands on a night out

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A distraught woman revealed that she is questioning her marriage after discovering that her husband sent “hundreds” of text messages to a female colleague and that they “held hands” and “hugged” during work evenings.

Anonymous posting on Mumsnet, the UK woman explained that she knew her husband was friends with the co-worker, but only discovered the extent of their relationship after he accidentally left his phone unlocked while checking out their children.

“They have been working together for years,” wrote the devastated woman. “I thought we were happy, what should I do?”

Fellow users were quick to respond, offering advice on how to proceed, including many who had been cheated on by their husbands.

A distraught woman revealed that she is questioning her marriage after discovering that her husband has sent ‘hundreds’ of text messages to a female colleague and that they ‘held hands’ and ‘hugged’ during work evenings (stock image)

The UK woman posted anonymously to Mumsnet, explaining that she knew her husband was friends with the co-worker, but only discovered the extent of their relationship after he accidentally left his phone unlocked while checking out their children.

The UK woman posted anonymously to Mumsnet, explaining that she knew her husband was friends with the co-worker, but only discovered the extent of their relationship after he accidentally left his phone unlocked while checking out their children.

Several people urged the woman to gather more evidence before confronting him, with one message: ‘My experience is that you don’t learn anything and you will most likely feel like the bad guy.

‘If I’d had my time again, I’d have a little snooping as soon as I suspected it. In fact, I would have my ex-husband track it down to find out exactly what he was up to and with whom before tackling him.

“What I did was believe him because I wanted to believe him and bury my head in the sand for far too long.”

Another said: ‘You have to go through his history – in his web browsers and his messenger apps like WhatsApp etc. If it is an iPhone, you should check Safari browser and also Google Chrome in case he has that installed too. iPhones may also have FaceTime logs. It’s so scary but don’t give him back his phone until you’ve checked everything. ‘

A third added: ‘Send the colleague a message from his phone pretending to be him to get a sense of how far it has gone. He probably has no other way to “warn” her if he hands over his phone? ‘

However, others felt that the wife should confront her husband to keep his conversations with the colleague from escalating.

A deluge of responses to the post urged the woman to seek more correspondence between her husband and his colleague before confronting him

A deluge of responses to the post urged the woman to seek more correspondence between her husband and his colleague before confronting him

‘It must have shocked you, I know the feeling … cold sweat and a knot of fear in your stomach. I think you face it right now, if you sit back and wait something more could happen or the tension of it makes you want to bring the skillet to him. I hope all the answers he gives will reassure you and that he is lying on the ground with remorse, ”one wrote.

Another said, ‘Ask him. Don’t torture yourself, you know what you saw. ‘

The concerned woman later posted again to say that she had confronted her husband with the message and admitted to holding hands and “ hugging ” during work evenings, but insisted that this was the extent of their physical contact.

However, the woman also found hundreds of messages between the couple, including selfies and text messages he’d sent while on vacation with the family.

She wrote: ‘There are hundreds and hundreds of messages. He initiates a lot more contact than she does and sends her a lot of selfies.

“I don’t know what to make of it … nothing obvious it’s an affair, but very jocular chat from what I’ve seen, but there’s so much going on.”

Others advised the woman to talk to her husband before his relationship with his coworker escalated to something more

Others advised the woman to talk to her husband before his relationship with his coworker escalated to something more

She later continued: “He sends her messages day and night, on weekends and when we are on vacation. They are all on each other’s social media. It’s been going on for 8 years or more. It’s an emotional affair, isn’t it. ‘

The woman later said she asked her husband to stay with his sister to give her time to think.

After the extent of the relationship was discovered, many of the Mumsnet users agreed that they would struggle to forgive the man if they were in the woman’s position.

One wrote: ‘Your relationship will never be the same again, for me it would always be infected. When events like this happen in relationships, sometimes the injured person just wants it never happened and has to write things down and fix things.

After the extent of the relationship was discovered, many of the Mumsnet users agreed that they would struggle to forgive the man if they were in the woman's position.

After the extent of the relationship was discovered, many of the Mumsnet users agreed that they would struggle to forgive the man if they were in the woman’s position.

“From my own bitter experience, I would let him go and walk away, or you’re always looking over your shoulder.”

Another wrote: ‘This man has massively disrespected and cheated you for over eight years. Do you really want to be with someone who feels like they’ve got you ‘in the bag’ but wants the excitement and ego boost from this other woman who doesn’t respect you either (presumably she knows he’s married)?

How would he feel if someone treated his daughter in this way and would approve of his son treating his future wife in this way. This is not ‘nothing’, this is a long-term ‘something’ and to me this would destroy the relationship that he seems to be emotionally absent from. ‘

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